CrystalH Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 One of my teachers this year, taught me in a subject that wasn’t my strongest, so I’d always coming for extra help after school, and naturally we got to know each other, but as the year came to an end, I started to realize that he was treating me different, I started to realize that sometimes he would flirt with me, but he really never did anything that made me feel weird or uncomfortable but after awhile, he started doing things, like making fun of little things I would do in class, or he would say, ‘I love you, I just want you to know that.’, or you will always have a special place in my heart. and when he saw me before graduation, he told me I looked beautiful, and said that this year has been a year he won’t forget, because he feels that he has become a better person, teacher, everything because I opened his eyes to giving people an opportunity to succeed.The year was full of moments like that. Now, I am starting to question how I feel about him, It’s like he slowly seduced me all year? I just don’t know if these ‘feelings’ between us are real? I graduated so I am no longer a student at school and I just don’t know why all of a sudden, I find myself feeling this way. Its like as long as I was a student at the same school that he was my teacher I would never have even looked at him like that. He never bluntly asked me out or anything, but he did say at the end of the year that he did like me, and he hoped that any guy who dates me realizes how lucky they are. He would make these remarks like, I saw him in the hallway and he came out of one of the classroom and told these kids, get to class, because there is a beautiful girl in the courtyard, and brushed my shoulder, as he passed by. He would also tell other kids(as a joke), that they should not talk to me, even make eye contact with me. I am a rather outgoing and kinda loud and crazzy person( in a good way.lol) so I can be a bit overwhelming if you don’t know me, and he was always like.” I am used to her, but if your not…just leave her alone.” I didn’t really know how to respond. I will be 19 next February, and he will be 25 this August. I know all of this must sound pretty stupid, but I just wanted to see what others thought, because sometimes people get caught up and don’t see things clearly, and I am starting to wonder if this is just my mind playing tricks on me, or if maybe something is there. In all honesty, I do like him, as we did spend a lot of time together the past year 1/2, but I am also fully aware that teacher/Student relationships are usually frowned upon, so thats why I felt so unclear as to what I should do next. Do I test the waters with him, or just forget him all together? Does any of this, even sound like he really has feelings for me?? Its sort of like, my heart tells me one thing, but the reality of the way people think makes me feel like I have to think otherwise, even though I graduated… I don’t want either of us to get a bad reputation, and I know that people could think things happened before Graduation. I am just confused about the whole situation. What do you guys think about all of this?!?
amymarieca Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 Well considering your age difference isn't that large, it doesn't surprise me. I am 26 and a teacher and a lot of the older students have a hard time seeing me as their teacher. I personally would never ever date a student, even if they graduated. Teacher-student relationships are very risky and should be avoided. This could jeapordize his career and he needs to be careful. It doesn't matter if you are graduating, you were still his student. Relationships between students and teachers where I am from are highly frowned upon. I hope you make the right choice.
D-Lish Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 Well, it sounds to me like your teacher was grossly inappropriate.
GPFan Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 It is difficult to know in your situation because of the former power differential between the two of you. You may be engaging in a bit of hero worship. Now that you have graduated, you may begin discreetly dating him. Remind him to tone it down when he is around colleagues and/or current students. Remind yourself that the two of you are equals now. I can't think of any other way to determine whether or not what you feel is real.
Author CrystalH Posted August 29, 2008 Author Posted August 29, 2008 Well, I actually ran into my teacher today, while I was at my school picking something up, and we talked for alittle bit, just about like the summer and school starting and stuff... and then he told me, "hey..before you leave, you should check out my office..you haven't been up there yet." So, He went to class and I went up to see what he was talking about, and he had this little sign thing ( that I started as a joke with acouple of other teachers as well), and its just this lil paper sign that will say like...WHAT, or Confused, or HuH? and I like hold them up during classes...its really more of an inside joke with the ppl at my school, but it saved me from having to raise my hand or call out every 5 min. when I was in a class that I never understood anything..lol..and alot of other ppl started doing it too..but Its all out of fun...and he had the sign that I had for his class framed, and then he had this pic. of us that I gave him at the end of the year, framed too. Like I said, the sigh..I could see framed..cause most of the other teachers who I have done this with..framed thier's too...haha..but the picture kinda shocked me...I was like...huh? I mean, I gave any teacher that I had taken a photo with a copy of the pic. and some of them tacked it on the wall, or just have it like leaning on something in thier office, or some just took it home, but I was surprised that he framed it...I was like..wow..really was not expecting that. Should I just take that as a compliment, that he doesn't want the pic getting messed up, or take that as something...weird??? Its like the only two tihngs he has up too..like he doesnt have any other things up in his office yet. Part of me says, wow, thats nice of him, and then the other part is like...alittle strange.
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