Gemini0525 Posted July 16, 2008 Posted July 16, 2008 we all have our own pet peeves and silly fights over insignificant things, etc. but i'm wondering... i just moved into a new apt a month ago and the parking is limited. i have one parking space assigned to me in front of my bldg. anyone else coming over has to find an unmarked space. it can be a p.i.t.a. because you never know where you'll end up. my bf (2gether 1-1/2 yrs) and i have been talking about living together but he hasn't committed to moving in with me yet. over the last two weeks, he's spent the night quite a few times and the issue that i'm struggling with is that he insists on being able to park in my spot... because he's my guest. he's not the type of guy who kisses his car goodnight but he was used to parking in the garage at his parent's house. he calls me when he arrives and expects me to come downstairs to move my car. i did it a few times, thinking that he just needed to get used to my apt complex but he hasn't stopped asking. when i made a joking comment about getting my space back, he made a smartass remark about not having to come over. yes, it's just a stupid parking space and aside from that situation, we have a good time BUT i can't get this nagging thought out of my head that he's not really being a gentleman. it was raining like hell this morning and i was the one having to go past three other bldgs to get to my car. am i making too much out of this??????????????????????????????????
BUENG1 Posted July 16, 2008 Posted July 16, 2008 we all have our own pet peeves and silly fights over insignificant things, etc. but i'm wondering... i just moved into a new apt a month ago and the parking is limited. i have one parking space assigned to me in front of my bldg. anyone else coming over has to find an unmarked space. it can be a p.i.t.a. because you never know where you'll end up. my bf (2gether 1-1/2 yrs) and i have been talking about living together but he hasn't committed to moving in with me yet. over the last two weeks, he's spent the night quite a few times and the issue that i'm struggling with is that he insists on being able to park in my spot... because he's my guest. he's not the type of guy who kisses his car goodnight but he was used to parking in the garage at his parent's house. he calls me when he arrives and expects me to come downstairs to move my car. i did it a few times, thinking that he just needed to get used to my apt complex but he hasn't stopped asking. when i made a joking comment about getting my space back, he made a smartass remark about not having to come over. yes, it's just a stupid parking space and aside from that situation, we have a good time BUT i can't get this nagging thought out of my head that he's not really being a gentleman. it was raining like hell this morning and i was the one having to go past three other bldgs to get to my car. am i making too much out of this?????????????????????????????????? Its not something to break up over I dont think, but next time just don't move your car.
Author Gemini0525 Posted July 16, 2008 Author Posted July 16, 2008 LOL - i definitely don't want to break up with him over something like this... but doesn't it seem a little selfish/inconsiderate of him to expect me to ALWAYS move my car? to me, the issue isn't really the parking space itself. i'm not lazy and it's not about the walk to my car... (except when it's a monsoon outside!! LOL)... it's about being able to compromise and being considerate. i tried a light approach by making a comment about getting my space back and he sorta busted on me about not coming over...
carhill Posted July 16, 2008 Posted July 16, 2008 Hey, good reason for him to get a place of his own, so you can park in HIS spot
Ronni_W Posted July 16, 2008 Posted July 16, 2008 ...but doesn't it seem a little selfish/inconsiderate of him Actually, 'narcissistic' and 'sense of entitlement' come to mind, along with 'overblown sense of importance'. Have there been any other signs (also in his other relationships and the way he interacts with the world in general) that indicate he ALWAYS wants his own way, no matter the cost to others, and will manipulate (threaten to withdraw, throw a tantrum, sulk/pout, etc.) to get it? How often and significantly does he compromise and show consideration? After 18 months, it may seem somewhat 'silly' to become alarmed about this specific situation. But it could be pointing to a much larger issue that would be cause for real concern. Could even be that you were able to let other things go, in the 18 months, because you thought you were compromising. That is, you did the grown-up and considerate thing. But IF it is just always you doing that...
HabitualDelirium Posted July 16, 2008 Posted July 16, 2008 Eh, not a good reason to break up. Good reason to have a discussion, though. Tell him that it's bothering you, and then go from there. Just tell him you'd like to switch off the spot. Work so that it's more convenient for whoever has to get up early to go to work. I mean, is he REALLY going out of his way to see you? The only reason why I see it'd matter so much to him was if he had to go really out of his way to visit you, and wanted you to be considerate about him parking in a convenient place. I mean, he seems like a guy that expects equal treatment for the girl, and isn't going to go too out of his way to treat you like a princess. You're gonna have to think about whether that's something you can put up with. A lot of girls want their guy to treat them like princesses, but with the changing world, you're gonna meet guys that don't think that way.
konfuzd Posted July 16, 2008 Posted July 16, 2008 Haha.... my bf and I have an almost similar situation. There is day parking/overnight parking in my building. When he comes over, he is staying overnight, but he always parks in the day parking because it's closer to the door. The first couple times, I went out and moved his car for him (being the good gf I am) now he expects me to do it every time. I don't let it get to me. I just tease him about what a great girl he's got, and he better appriciate these things I do for him. In the grand scheme of life, it's a minor inconvenience, but turn the tables and think of how much you'd like it if he gave up his parking spot for you.
amymarieca Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 Tell him to suck it up and get over it. That is so silly! I live in a big city where parking is very difficult and I have never had a guest complain to me. So what if he has to park 3 blocks away. A little fresh air and exercise never hurt anyone. I wouldn't move your car, it's your space!
laylan Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 why is he being like a demanding bitch? he needs to man up... it would bother me too. i wouldn't date someone like that...
Recommended Posts