Confused713 Posted July 16, 2008 Posted July 16, 2008 [FONT=Verdana]We were together for over 2 ½ yrs and then we broke-up (more her than me ) last year August saying that we had differences that cannot be reconciled and therefore we should be apart. We stayed friends for a while with minimal contact and I went thru hell. From Dec 07 onwards she becomes very friendly again, we hang out for a while we get back together in Jan. We went on a few trips together and things were looking good. [/FONT] [FONT=Verdana]Then in March she got weird again and she again started thinking that those irreconcilable differences we still there and we cant go on. we stayed together till about a 2 months ago and then eventually I had to accept it (mostly with her pushing it ) that it was over and we broke-up.[/FONT] [FONT=Verdana]After the breakup we still stayed in contact, she came over to my place and we had s** a few times and then that stopped as well. At this point I started seeing a therapist and the therapist told me that I needed to break all contact with her and start reflecting on myself. I took her advise and stopped calling her but after 3 weeks of NC she starts txting , I ignored the first few txt but then I replied to few of them and then I stopped that as well. [/FONT] [FONT=Verdana]She shows up at my apt 2 Sundays ago; calls me from outside and asks if she can come in and like a dumba** I let her in. She behaves completely opposite of her normal self and she is just crying most of the time she is there. She does not say anything like we should get back together …….. nothing. We messed around quite a bit and then I had to take off cause I was running late for my flight so I told her I’ll see you later and take off.[/FONT] [FONT=Verdana]After that I didn’t call for a week and Monday morning sent a quick hello. She calls me Monday night and is crying her head off, about how she misses me and wants to go back to the days we were happy together she doesn’t even like going out anymore and would rather just hang-out with me ……. I was very nice to her and told her I missed her too, and miss the things she misses also, told her lets meet over the weekend and we can talk and see where it goes. [/FONT] [FONT=Verdana]My Question? I am totally confused now . does she want to get REALLY wants to get back together? Is this just a weak moment for her and she will get over it in a few days (weeks) and we are at square 1? Should I just stay away from her ? Really don’t know what to do. I am afraid that if I open up to her and she goes back to doing the same thing I will be destroyed all over again and plus I think most of my friends that were helping me thru this will probably kill me .[/FONT]
Emmeline Posted July 16, 2008 Posted July 16, 2008 This girl has been all over the place with her behavior and has been very inconsistent in her words and actions. But she's doing this to you because you're LETTING her do it. No matter what her issues are (and it sounds like she has plenty) she is successfully managing to mess with your head and drag you down too. You're in a really vulnerable place as far as your feelings for her are concerned and she's doing nothing to alleviate that. I realize that this is probably not what you want to hear, but I think that making a clean break from her and having no contact is the best thing for you right now. There is a reason that friends and therapists and people on here and books all recommend that. You really, really need a chance to get away from her and clear your head for a while. You need to become stronger in your dealings with her and learn how to protect yourself. And constantly being available for her is not helping you with that. Start with just that one step-resolve to have no contact with her and begin that immediately. Don't worry about how long you need to do it or whether or not she will try to contact you again. For now just take it day by day and avoid any interaction with her at all.
Author Confused713 Posted July 17, 2008 Author Posted July 17, 2008 Thanks Emmaonline. Ur right I AM letting her do this to me. I think ur also right about me being toooo available for her and I need to stop all contact and ignore her efforts to contact me (this is extemely hard for me but I have to do it). I need to move on and clear my life of such extremely confused people, for some weird reason I am a magnet for these women lol...
Author Confused713 Posted July 21, 2008 Author Posted July 21, 2008 Update: She called last friday and reminded me of the meeting on the weekend. I wondered since she did all the crying and telling me she misses me ... blah blah ... if I had a shot with her this would be it so I took her for dinner, and the same thing happened again. As expected she was back to we are really good friends kinda attitude . I asked her multiple times what the F**K do you want? eventually got an answer "I dont know" WHAT??? so we ended the night . Now she is back txting me like the entire last week didnt happen and we are back to square 1 . I still cant fathom the idea that this is the same girl I spent over 2 yrs without even one incidince of her being unsure of the feelings for me . Emotionally this has set me back horribly ... just dont understand that a girl 31 can still be so confused. Going to NC almost seems meaningless now until I am sure that I will never ever get back with her......
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