bill1234 Posted July 16, 2008 Posted July 16, 2008 No idea why this has happened, but right now I feel like I can cope. I woke at 3am as normal, and started to think about her again, but this time I kinda ran the last week we spent together through my head like a movie. And I spotted something I hadn't noticed before - the last time I saw her before she dumped me, I went round to her house as a surprise, to comfort her after she'd told me she was sick and couldn't come over. When I called her to tell her I was in her yard, she didn't want me to come into the house, and didn't come outside for five minutes. I asked her why she'd taken so long to come out at the time, and she said "I was going to dress up for you but I decided not to". And last night, the final piece of the jigsaw fell into place. What a crock: she was already dressed up. She spent so long getting ready to see me because she had to reverse it, and dress down to see me. In other words, she was planning to go out that night without telling me, and I accidentally surprised her. The "dress up for you" comment was to explain away the perfume she was wearing. And for some reason this realisation didn't fill me with the pang of anxiety or rage that I normally get, that keeps me awake. It comforted me: she really was a liar, and rotten to the core, and I was lucky not to get more involved with her. She may even have cheated on me that night when I left, or the night before when she was also "sick". All because she believed some bullsh_t rumor about me being seen with my ex. And I fell right back asleep again. When I woke up this morning, I felt good. And it's lasting. Right now I feel independent, strong, I know I'm looking good with all the running and exercising I do. I am charming, interesting, witty. I have so much to offer someone else, a girl who is genuine and honest, not some hot-on-the-outside but ugly-on-the-inside messed up lying cheating chick. Long may this last. Thanks for listening!
foxh1234 Posted July 16, 2008 Posted July 16, 2008 Good for you Bill, I still have bad days, but fewer of them. Sounds like you are making progress, keep it up.
Meaplus3 Posted July 16, 2008 Posted July 16, 2008 No idea why this has happened, but right now I feel like I can cope. I woke at 3am as normal, and started to think about her again, but this time I kinda ran the last week we spent together through my head like a movie. And I spotted something I hadn't noticed before - the last time I saw her before she dumped me, I went round to her house as a surprise, to comfort her after she'd told me she was sick and couldn't come over. When I called her to tell her I was in her yard, she didn't want me to come into the house, and didn't come outside for five minutes. I asked her why she'd taken so long to come out at the time, and she said "I was going to dress up for you but I decided not to". And last night, the final piece of the jigsaw fell into place. What a crock: she was already dressed up. She spent so long getting ready to see me because she had to reverse it, and dress down to see me. In other words, she was planning to go out that night without telling me, and I accidentally surprised her. The "dress up for you" comment was to explain away the perfume she was wearing. And for some reason this realisation didn't fill me with the pang of anxiety or rage that I normally get, that keeps me awake. It comforted me: she really was a liar, and rotten to the core, and I was lucky not to get more involved with her. She may even have cheated on me that night when I left, or the night before when she was also "sick". All because she believed some bullsh_t rumor about me being seen with my ex. And I fell right back asleep again. When I woke up this morning, I felt good. And it's lasting. Right now I feel independent, strong, I know I'm looking good with all the running and exercising I do. I am charming, interesting, witty. I have so much to offer someone else, a girl who is genuine and honest, not some hot-on-the-outside but ugly-on-the-inside messed up lying cheating chick. Long may this last. Thanks for listening! I'm happy to hear your feeling good today. Keep up your positive thinking here.. and you will be over her in no time at all. Best wishes. AP:)
kizik Posted July 16, 2008 Posted July 16, 2008 Bill, this is a great start for you. Enjoy the feelings of independence. The truth is that you will feel down again in the future - which is why you have to truly relish how you feel right now. Be Here Now.
Author bill1234 Posted July 16, 2008 Author Posted July 16, 2008 Thanks guys. Well I've made it to the afternoon and I still feel OK. This is the longest I've felt like this for months. (I am sure I'll relapse eventually, but what the hell, I'm enjoying it now.) She emailed me a couple of times today, once for work, once to see how I was doing and to chat. I replied to the first in a businesslike manner, and ignored the second. I'll have to reply to the personal one eventually, so that she doesn't flip out and cause trouble for me in the office, but I'll take my sweet time. Subtext: How dare you try to be my friend after the way you repaid my trust and honesty.
kizik Posted July 16, 2008 Posted July 16, 2008 Bill, tell her to stop talking to you. And stop talking to her. You can't get over her while in contact.
Author bill1234 Posted July 17, 2008 Author Posted July 17, 2008 AND... I'm back down again. Went out for drinks last night, and got bought a beer, unprompted, by an amazingly cute girl. I was going to ask for her number but I thought she was with her boyfriend - turns out my gay buddy's "gaydar" went up to Code Red - the guy was just her friend but I didn't realise. Damn! Still, a nice start to the night... But today I am hungover and back in the dumps, and plagued by thoughts of how that girl treated me. I need to get back to how I was yesterday. Two weeks to NC, it can't come soon enough.
roghornio Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 AND... I'm back down again. Went out for drinks last night, and got bought a beer, unprompted, by an amazingly cute girl. I was going to ask for her number but I thought she was with her boyfriend - turns out my gay buddy's "gaydar" went up to Code Red - the guy was just her friend but I didn't realise. Damn! Still, a nice start to the night... But today I am hungover and back in the dumps, and plagued by thoughts of how that girl treated me. I need to get back to how I was yesterday. Two weeks to NC, it can't come soon enough. Lesson learned there!~ Always ask for the number – if she has a boyfriend shell tell you. You can’t lose! As for coming down.. well that’s the way it works , up and down and the ups last for longer and the downs get shorter…
Crazy.S Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 She shouldn't be buying you a drink if she had a bf.
northstar1 Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 AND... I'm back down again. Went out for drinks last night, and got bought a beer, unprompted, by an amazingly cute girl. I was going to ask for her number but I thought she was with her boyfriend - turns out my gay buddy's "gaydar" went up to Code Red - the guy was just her friend but I didn't realise. Damn! Still, a nice start to the night... But today I am hungover and back in the dumps, and plagued by thoughts of how that girl treated me. I need to get back to how I was yesterday. Two weeks to NC, it can't come soon enough. Yeah, I've learned the hard way a few times, that what goes up must come down and that hangovers just make you feel awful and sad. By tomorrow you'll be back on top
Recommended Posts