teethbrushes Posted July 16, 2008 Posted July 16, 2008 My ex and I had been dating for about 7-8 months. I really love him and he loves me, yadda yadda. He came on a vacation with me and met my parents, etc. and things went well. When we came back, I started noticing things had changed. He was always in a bad mood, etc. I noticed I hadn't been as social as I was before I met him and hadn't made any new friends in grad school this semester, I just shut off and stuck strictly to him and the friends I had made before. He is also trying to be an actor and I really felt like he wasn't being proactive about his career and it was starting to drive me up the friggin wall. Long story short, I have a rheumatoid condition and I took some meds that screwed me up. It had physical as well as emotional side effects and I started crying to my mom about how I wanted to break-up with my boyfriend. She liked him a lot and lobbied not to, but when he came over that night, he asked if we should break up and I said yes, that I had been thinking about it, but didn't know how to bring it up. He wanted space to figure out his career and felt like he was so worried about my health that he didn't have time right now, but he assured me he loved me immensely and I had done nothing wrong. Y'all, it was the saddest break-up scene you've ever seen. Lots of tears from both sides. I ended up in the hospital due to drug complications and he came to visit me. He told me he loved me and wished things were different. I was crying a lot the first few days but after a while, noticed I wasn't really even that sad. When I broke up with my boyfriend before him, I was crying for months straight and was SO depressed. I opened up an account on eHarmony, vowed to be more social and decided to get a dog to curtail the loneliness (and a new Chanel! haha). I decided to take charge of life. He invited me over and I just came back from his house. We acted very together and as I left, I asked if we could try again right now. Its weird because I'm not sure why I asked that. I guess to get the blessing to know if its okay to move on or not. He said not right now, but he loved me SO much and he just can't be with anyone right now. He kissed me several times and told me how much he loved me and that he just couldn't date anyone and there was no one else and will be no one else for a long time and yadda yadda yadda. I had wanted to try again just to see if I could actually live with dating and possibly marrying an actor and to see if I could be more social with him in my life. But when he told me that, it literally had no effect. NONE I wasn't feeling well so I was shaking a little and he asked if I was upset and I was like "No.", but I felt bad because I literally was not and AM not upset at all. I am very interested in dating other guys, but I wonder if this is kosher? I don't want to wait around for someone that things might not work out for. I definitely don't feel like I can't live without him.... I dunno. I love him a lot more than I loved my last bf and this relationship was so much better. So why am I not crushed? I'm not sure what I'm asking, but I guess I'd like some perspective...
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