Kristine Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 I'm a family person. I was married throughout my twenties, twice, first one cheated several times and then hit me. I had two children. Lost them both, son to foster care, daughter to ex husband, suffered a complete breakdown and now I'm single. What if your just not designed to be single, then what? I lost my job, so I'm unemployed, my record is so bad I doubt I can get a job now. Worked in the accounting field and filed bankruptcy, no degree, sporatic work record, lots of time unemployed. Life is just a mess. I live with my mother, I can't handle living alone. Really I was suicidal so she high tailed it to live with me, her house it was just vacant. I'm semi-planning a return to college in the fall only my family wants me doing something more instantaniously productive, like get a job. I feel like I could focus on school if I just lived on my own, then no one would be telling me what to do (I'm 34 btw). I just needed to vent, I'm totally scared to live alone, my daughter visits alternate weekends, otherwise I'm truely alone being that I'm not working. Should I just stay living with my mother until I really get on my feet? I have disability money I'm living off of currently. Sorry this got so long.
Star Gazer Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 I'm a family person. I was married throughout my twenties, twice, first one cheated several times and then hit me. I had two children. Lost them both, son to foster care, daughter to ex husband, suffered a complete breakdown and now I'm single. What if your just not designed to be single, then what? Ironically, it sounds more like you're not designed to be in a relationship.
Author Kristine Posted July 15, 2008 Author Posted July 15, 2008 Too long of a story to get into but I disagree. The simple version is I lost my son because I sent him to foster care, he was destroying my home and my second marriage. It backfired on me.
kyta Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 It sound like u have unresolved issues you need to deal with, my son was terible when he was growing up he has adhd so i know what its like to bring up a child with problems, (i was a single dad just the 2 of us) i just couldnt give him up to foster care or worry about a relationship, hes my blood my sone my job to bring him up and take care of him no matter what problems he created. I think you need to focus more on you and you issues first, no one is designed for and against relationships, it how you see it in your own head, living with mum or on your own its a choice u have to make, think hard of what you want from life, then set some small goals to reach, life is never easy but we have to walk it, but it is never as bad as we think it is.
Yamaha Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 Why are you afraid to live alone? Is it a phobia or just an general uneasiness? Being single is not bad if you have friends. Do you have any friends to hang with and talk to?
Author Kristine Posted July 16, 2008 Author Posted July 16, 2008 Two friends live in a different state I see them once a year or so, one is nearer but in a relationship, she prefers me in a couple. I like living with my mom for the most part, it's lonely living alone. I party a lot when I do. Talking with friends isn't enough, seeing them daily is what I really need. So I'd do best having a job or being in school where I have people interaction. I like the idea of smaller goals. And yes I gave up on a tough kid, which is way wrong and I totally regret it. God has punished me for doing so, in a permanent way.
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