bigmanpayne Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 I am always on this board talking about my ending marriage but never about my dating life (which has been horrible). Anyway, I like this girl at work, but there are some problems and complications. For one, I am the only available, eligible, and dateable male in a room of 120 other women. There are only 5-6 other males and I and maybe 1 other guy (on a good day) are dateable. I have already dated 2 other women who also work there and have had problems with both of them. I swear, may God take my 1st born, I was never disrespectful to either of them and I don’t engage in any of their antics or try to get “payback or anything.” Here is the story as short as I can tell it… I started dating this woman I work with. we dated for about a month. she doesn’t date much and I think she couldn’t handle being in a relationship. Long story short she broke up with me, but didn’t want me to stop talking to her, being nice, etc. after about 3 weeks I found out someone else who I work with liked me so I asked girl one if it was OK for me to date girl 2. She of course says “sure, I don’t care, I dumped you – why would I care?” so I started dating girl 2. girl 1 of course was jealous and did everything she could to break me and girl 2 up – making up lies, talking to me and making people think we were still together, etc. Her and her friends there have vowed that they will make sure that I never date any other woman in that department or that job for that matter. She broke up with me but doesn’t want me to be with anyone else there – I don’t get it girl 2 was freshly divorced (3 months) and probably the best looking woman I have ever dated. Anyway… at the end of our first and only date she cried and said “I’m sorry, I have never been on a date, I don’t know how to act, blah, blah, blah…” that was fine, I was sensitive to it but when we got to work on Monday she was embarrassed and thought that I was going to tell everyone so she made up a bunch of lies (she later apologized right before she moved out of town and was open and honest about it – was really great). She has moved away and I feel like a weight has been lifted off my left shoulder but there is still heavy weight on the right. Anyway, 80% of the room thinks I am a creap and there are 10 to 12 ridiculous lies floating around that I just ignore which I think makes it worse. I really like someone else who works there, she’s smart, and normal (nothing like the other 2) but I think others have said bad things about me and she probably believes some of it. I am already a divorced father of 3 (2 who I have custody of) who recently moved in with my parents (which helps the kids and frees up a ton of money for me) and the stuff with the other 2 totally makes me look like trouble. Drama. Drama. What do I do? I keep to myself and try not to talk to anyone, which onlyseems to make things worse (girl one seems to be upset that she is being ignored). Do I just stay away from dating anyone at work no matter what anymore? I think this new girl likes me, but I am afraid to even approach her in that way because of the mess with the other 2. This girl is great. And I have actually liked her for a long time (even before the other 2). Although I don't know for sure I think this new girl wouldn't give me the kind of trouble that the other 2 did. Should I try, or leave it alone?
Chinook Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 Having just 'dated' a guy at work... and it all going horribly wrong. I'd say you've had more than enough drama from work to keep you going. I'd counsel you to avoid it. Leave it alone. Find a new club, a new hobby... something which gives you more social interaction. Don't fish in the small work pond, it ain't worth the hassle.
JohnnyBlaze Posted July 16, 2008 Posted July 16, 2008 Payne, Girl #1 is going to be the death of your dating there. She made good on her threat once; there's nothing to say she won't again. It does suck that her lies are more believed than your truths, but that's the way it is. Women are generally more likely to believe other women than men. That being said, I'd recommend you not go after the new girl. However, if it were me, I'd try anyway. If your rep (as undeserved as it may be) is already in the can with the women there, what do you have to lose? The key is to get to New Girl before Girl 1 does. If you can, then you let it slip to New Girl that Girl 1 has a grudge against you and it becomes a joke between you two. "So what's Girl 1 saying about me now? Do I still just kick puppies, or did I graduate to stealing from orphans?". But that's just my 2¢.
Author bigmanpayne Posted July 16, 2008 Author Posted July 16, 2008 i think the new girl knows most of the bad stuff girl 1 and her friends have said. i think she still is intrigued by me. we work in an office and our computers were down today and she came over and started talking to me today about herself. i dont know if i am just reading too much into that or not. in the movie "How To Be A Player" Bill Bellamy said that he liked that his sister's friend heard all of the bad stuff about him because she already knows and she will want to know if it is true. this new girl has 2 close friends there. one friend is a friend of mine and sites right next to me, and the other one is a friend of girl 1, i pray sometimes that she listens more the the girl who sits next to me. WORD TO THE WISE: being the only eligible man amongst 120 women is not a good thing! never wish to be in my position!!
silvergirl Posted July 16, 2008 Posted July 16, 2008 Never date where you work..........it's bad, bad, bad!!!!!!!
Author bigmanpayne Posted July 17, 2008 Author Posted July 17, 2008 there are some people at work who are dating and doing fine, why cant/wont it work for me?
GPFan Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 there are some people at work who are dating and doing fine, why cant/wont it work for me?Dating at your job is risky. You are now two-for-two in the negative column. I wouldn't take on anymore risk at this job unless, of course, you don't care for the job.
Recommended Posts