gummybear Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 I like this guy but not sure if I can accept him physically. He's not ugly or anything, he's just not exactly that attractive to me. He's super skinny and super nerdy. I like guys who are nerdy and skinny, but he honestly fits that profile to a T haha! Anyway, I just had my third date with him today and I thought that would be the deciding factor for me, but really I still can not get myself to just dump him. He held my hand for the first time and he's sooo sweet to me and we went into this conversation where I found out that he's told him mom about me. Maybe I can't break up with him because of baggage of the past, where I broke up with the guy I loved dearly and it broke my heart to see how hurt he was and I totally regretted it and wanted him back but he lost his love for me because of what I did to him. And while in this case it's so different (it's only been 3 dates with this guy) I just can't get myself to end it for I'm very very fond of him and don't want to hurt him and also I'm scared that after I do it I will end up regretting it but it will be too late (which is what happened with my ex). I'm scared of history repeating itself and I'm scared of making the same mistake. Confused.
Untouchable_Fire Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 I like this guy but not sure if I can accept him physically. He's not ugly or anything, he's just not exactly that attractive to me. He's super skinny and super nerdy. I like guys who are nerdy and skinny, but he honestly fits that profile to a T haha! Anyway, I just had my third date with him today and I thought that would be the deciding factor for me, but really I still can not get myself to just dump him. Gummy, if you don't think he is attractive let him go! What the hell do you think your going to lose out on? A guy you are not attracted to? Oh, and if you think breaking it off on the third date is going to crush him... you think WAY too highly of yourself. Besides, if you drag it on and dump him months down the road... that actually will hurt him. Now, if you dump him and suddenly he becomes attractive and you want him... Then you know that you need help! That means bad, bad things for you.
Author gummybear Posted July 15, 2008 Author Posted July 15, 2008 Now, if you dump him and suddenly he becomes attractive and you want him... Then you know that you need help! That means bad, bad things for you. hahah true, so either way I should end it....but still, it's just so...*ugh*
xpaperxcutx Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 Is he that skinny guy? I thought you told him he wasn't your type? Oy break it off now before you really hurt him.
Crestfallen_KH Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 Is this the same guy who you were stressing over earlier? The guy who you were going to have trouble telling that you were planning on maybe moving?
Author gummybear Posted July 15, 2008 Author Posted July 15, 2008 Is this the same guy who you were stressing over earlier? The guy who you were going to have trouble telling that you were planning on maybe moving? Haha yea! I think maybe I'm creating drama in my head out of nothing to be honest. I think I should just date him until I just don't feel like it anymore or if he dumps me or if I move or something.....just to keep it simple.
bigmanpayne Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 this is just something i want to know... why did you break up with someone that you were so in love with. i read your posts in the dating forum i think, and i saw that you said you broke up with someone before that you were really in love with and regretted it later. why did you do it in the first place.
Author gummybear Posted July 15, 2008 Author Posted July 15, 2008 this is just something i want to know... why did you break up with someone that you were so in love with. i read your posts in the dating forum i think, and i saw that you said you broke up with someone before that you were really in love with and regretted it later. why did you do it in the first place. At the time, I was stupid and impatient. And mostly, I was verrrry insecure. I did love him and find him attractive from the very first date, but perhaps it was because I loved him so much that made me feel vulnerable and wanted to leave him as if I knew that if he ever left me that my heart would break beyond repair. I dumped him because I was scared but then ofcourse I would ask for him back. But after I lied and emotionally cheated on him, it was the last straw for him. He eventually left me. The hurt in his voice still haunts me as he tells me 'I can't believe you'd somehting like this to me. It just really hurts.' I lied and cheated also due to insecurity and being weak.
Author gummybear Posted July 15, 2008 Author Posted July 15, 2008 Funny thing is today at lunch the girl who we bought coffee from commented on his tie and said that it looks nice (she was kinda cute too), and inside I got a bit jealous. I'm so lame hahahah.
xpaperxcutx Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 At the time, I was stupid and impatient. And mostly, I was verrrry insecure. I did love him and find him attractive from the very first date, but perhaps it was because I loved him so much that made me feel vulnerable and wanted to leave him as if I knew that if he ever left me that my heart would break beyond repair. I dumped him because I was scared but then ofcourse I would ask for him back. But after I lied and emotionally cheated on him, it was the last straw for him. He eventually left me. The hurt in his voice still haunts me as he tells me 'I can't believe you'd somehting like this to me. It just really hurts.' I lied and cheated also due to insecurity and being weak. Gummy the problem is you. You're so afraid of getting cheated on and getting hurt that you'd cheated on the guy just so you could break up with him.
Author gummybear Posted July 15, 2008 Author Posted July 15, 2008 Gummy the problem is you. You're so afraid of getting cheated on and getting hurt that you'd cheated on the guy just so you could break up with him. Yes, I fully admit that it was me. In complete agreement there. That is why I really regretted it. I don't want to repeat the same mistake. I truly am very fond of this new guy. I enjoy being close to him and even start to enjoy kissing him as well. But sometimes I look at him and I get a bit turned off. Usually in the beginning of the date, I'm like 'ugh, i need to end this' but then over the course of the date I start to like him again and we connect. Then cycle repeats. haha
bigmanpayne Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 At the time, I was stupid and impatient. And mostly, I was verrrry insecure. I did love him and find him attractive from the very first date, but perhaps it was because I loved him so much that made me feel vulnerable and wanted to leave him as if I knew that if he ever left me that my heart would break beyond repair. I dumped him because I was scared but then ofcourse I would ask for him back. But after I lied and emotionally cheated on him, it was the last straw for him. He eventually left me. The hurt in his voice still haunts me as he tells me 'I can't believe you'd somehting like this to me. It just really hurts.' I lied and cheated also due to insecurity and being weak. thank you! i dont feel crazy. i know people who do this and never admit it. at least you have that going for you. heck, my sister has 3 or 4 good relationships laying out there that she left out of fear. most peopel dont admit that's what they did, they simply get worse and try to lie and make up things to justify what they did. good for you in that respect, but... you need to change. you aren't even giving this relationship a good change and you are already looking for the door - making up stuff.. "i am attracting to skinny nerdy guys and he is just right, but i am not sure if i am attracted to him." Huh? Does that make any sense? Stop running, stop being scared, and dare to fail. the best relationships are always the ones where you really give it your all and put yourself out there. you could fall flat on your face, but that's half the fun - sounds stupid but true
xpaperxcutx Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 Yes, I fully admit that it was me. In complete agreement there. That is why I really regretted it. I don't want to repeat the same mistake. I truly am very fond of this new guy. I enjoy being close to him and even start to enjoy kissing him as well. But sometimes I look at him and I get a bit turned off. But Gummy you can't always be scared of getting hurt. If you constantly break up with a guy because of that, you'll never end up with anyone. I think you can give this guy a few weeks or a month, if you're not feeling it then break it off. But your reaction tells me that you want so much to like this guy, yet his attraction appeal is on the bottom of the scale. If you're forcing yourself to like him, don't.
Author gummybear Posted July 16, 2008 Author Posted July 16, 2008 I know ya all will hate me for this, but I've decided to continue to wait and see with him. It does seem he's growing on me and I like him more each time I see him.....
Author gummybear Posted July 16, 2008 Author Posted July 16, 2008 He was so sweet last night over IM that it made me, for first time, to start feeling those butterflies/endorphins coming out for him. He said he's happy to be around someone who appreicates a nice guy like him (which I find somewhat odd for him to say since he's had 3 gfs before) because alot of girls seem to go for the bad boys. Plus he said he got me a bday gift but wanted me to know in advance that it's being mailed (my bday is this friday and i'll be seeing him). Perhaps people CAN grow on me? We shall see...
HabitualDelirium Posted July 16, 2008 Posted July 16, 2008 He was so sweet last night over IM that it made me, for first time, to start feeling those butterflies/endorphins coming out for him. He said he's happy to be around someone who appreicates a nice guy like him (which I find somewhat odd for him to say since he's had 3 gfs before) because alot of girls seem to go for the bad boys. Plus he said he got me a bday gift but wanted me to know in advance that it's being mailed (my bday is this friday and i'll be seeing him). Perhaps people CAN grow on me? We shall see... I agree that people can definitely grow on you. But you need to be a little more honest with yourself. Are his looks going to bother you constantly? Or was that just an excuse you were looking for to break up with him? You need to take a look at your own weaknesses and see whether it's you that needs to change your outlook and fears. Why do you feel so insecure? Your insecurities will just continue to be a drag unless you start doing something about that. Be careful about getting into another relationship if you haven't fixed the problems that broke up the previous relationship if it was indeed something with you and not the relationship.
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