misternoname Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 Brief history...married to my high school sweetheart for 24 years. She's cheated in the past. I haven't. I always forgave and took her back. All seemed well for a long time until the beginning of the year. Her and her best friend started doing a lot of "girls nights out." They turned into all-nighters. She came to me and asked if I would be interested in an open marriage. I was shocked and of course said no. She then suggested a temporary separation with the idea of picking up where we left off after a year. Again, I refused and she promised to back off. Soon after, she started locking her phone, changing and locking her email, etc. Based on her past I knew she was up to no good again. After a lot of self PI work I discovered she had been seeing a guy she met in a bar on one of their "ventures." After busting her, she decided to move out for 30 days to seek therapy and figure out what was wrong with her. She ended the affair and vowed not to date during the 30 days. I went along and agreed to the "rules." Two weeks into her hiatus, she came to me and said she felt like she did need to date. I was very disappointed. Come to find out, she had already met yet another guy and was already seeing him. At the end of her 30 day lease she moved to a permanent apartment and signed a 6 month lease. I started dating myself, preparing for the inevitable divorce. She brought me a contract from a mediator. I signed it and assumed all was on track to finish the marriage. She has done nothing with the paperwork since. We went to a joint counseling meeting. She announced that she was "leaning" toward divorce but still wasn't certain. I know the responses I'll get will be of the gist of what an idiot I am, etc. but the real problem is two fold. One, I still love her and wish she would change and stop this behavior once and for all (I know...once a cheater, always a cheater) and secondly from a financial/family point of view a tremendous amount is at stake. With the exception of the infidelity, we actually got along well and were very compatible. I've been out a lot with several ladies and have had a good time but none of it seems real or even a little meaningful. I'm trying very hard to separate emotionally but it's so damned hard. How do you force yourself to fall out of love with someone? Never been so conflicted and miserable in my entire life! Ideas???
kizik Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 As a poster suggested earlier to a married person, move this thread over to Separation/Divorce and I think you'll get some responses.
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