amymarieca Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 Ok so I am a little ashamed to admit this, but I have been trying the online dating thing for the last while. I have gone on a few dates- some good, some bad. The story is that I met this very nice man whom I have been talking to. We haven't met up yet for a date because I have been on vacation. We were talking about going out for sushi when I got back. He sent me some nice text messages while I was away. I didn't always get to them right away because I was busy. I think he started to read into this and think I was not interested. This isn't really the questionable part though. The thing that freaked me out was that he was saying he was going to take down his online dating profile (which he did). He said he hoped that I was still interested because he was taking it down. Maybe I am making an assumption here, but do you think he took it down because of me? If this is so, that is a huge turn off for me. We haven't even been on one date and this guy is already putting all his eggs in one basket and assuming that we are going to be in a relationship. I like when guys are forward with me, but not presumptuous. What do you think? Should I go on a date with him, tell him I am not interested, or just blow him off? Am I being ridiculous?
Adamagnet Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 Did he request or mention the date again after you got back?
jadedone Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 Did you receive the text messages right away and take your time to respond or did you not receive them because you were away? If you received them right away, how could you not take 1 minute to respond? If he deleted his profile because of you, then yes that's a bit presumptious, but not necessarily a red flag. There can be a million reasons he deleted it. He probably just told you so that you didn't think he was disappearing. Lastly. Do not blow him off. Either go on the date, or tell him you don't want to, but do not leave hime hanging or ignore him.
Lyssa Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 Maybe he is taking it down for some other reasons and does not want you to think that he has found someone else on the dating site hence the "would you still be interested" Q.
D-Lish Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 Sometimes people just get tired of having a profile up and want to take a break. I've done that before. Why are you ashamed to admit you've been doing online dating?
JP77 Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 Why are you ashamed to admit you've been doing online dating? It is a bit shameful, hell knows why you needed to do online dating, are the men where you live gay? I'd rather die alone and single than even do online dating.
D-Lish Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 It is a bit shameful, hell knows why you needed to do online dating, are the men where you live gay? I'd rather die alone and single than even do online dating. lol. The men where I live aren't all gay- but a lot of them are missing teeth. I think online dating is fun. I don't have a problem meeting guys out in public- but the online dating is expanding options.
JP77 Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 You should tell these men to get dental plates inserted. Fake teeth are better than no teeth. I bet you don't have a problem meeting guys out in public. That's evident, however what attracted you to online dating? Were you looking for fun?
D-Lish Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 You should tell these men to get dental plates inserted. Fake teeth are better than no teeth. I bet you don't have a problem meeting guys out in public. That's evident, however what attracted you to online dating? Were you looking for fun? lol... I started doing it out of boredom, all my friends are in relationships and don't go out as often as they used to... then I worked in an industry that was female dominated. I don't use it to get shagged, lol. But in regards to this guy taking his profile down- I don't think it's a big deal at all. I do get frustrated by it sometimes- lots of creeps that say weird things or harrass... so sometimes I just take my profile down to take a break from the whole thing.
D-Lish Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 You don't have to explain, D-Lish. Had much success? mmm, I'm still single so... I guess that's a no. I have met some cool people though.
JP77 Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 I might set one up to see what I attract, I want a cougar.
Art_Critic Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 There are many reasons he could've taken it down... He might be tired of rejection.. Online dating is full of rejection and you have to have decent game and confidence to wade thru all the bull online to get to the real women who want to go out. He might have just been in the monthly end of the pay cycle and not want to re-up his membership..kind of the cost benefit deal He also might have met someone else that he is playing it out with right now and then started talking to you and back burnered you He could be taking a break.. doing online dating properly can be time consuming and maybe he is just got other things going on. either way.. as long as he is still talking to you then keep up the communication.. meet him sooner than later.. I met my wife on match after kissing many frogs.. so online success does happen...
Shygirl15 Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 I would say don't sweat about it. He is probably just hiding it from public view and did not necessarily deleted it. One guy did the same thing to me. Non-stop sweet messages, then he said he will pull down his profile, before he even met me. He said he felt like he was "cheating" on me. I was turned off but decided to give a try anyway. We met. I didn't like him (profile looked fancy however turned out the photos were from like 10 years back and he lied on several other things), and he didn't like me. Even. Next day, his profile was back on air.
bigmanpayne Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 There are many reasons he could've taken it down... He might be tired of rejection.. Online dating is full of rejection and you have to have decent game and confidence to wade thru all the bull online to get to the real women who want to go out. He might have just been in the monthly end of the pay cycle and not want to re-up his membership..kind of the cost benefit deal He also might have met someone else that he is playing it out with right now and then started talking to you and back burnered you He could be taking a break.. doing online dating properly can be time consuming and maybe he is just got other things going on. either way.. as long as he is still talking to you then keep up the communication.. meet him sooner than later.. I met my wife on match after kissing many frogs.. so online success does happen... i agree, there are tons of reasons why he could have done this. u shouldn't get freaked out as if he is putting his eggs all in one basket because if you 2 dont work out, he can always put his profile back up. he might already have 2 or 3 women that he is seeing and thinks that is enough. what's wrong with him wanting to focus his attention on you anyway? doesnt mean that he wants to marry you or anything. dating multiple people at once is hard work, and if you do decide to settle on someone - someone else's feelings could get hurt. if he just dates one person at a time then that problem never crops up. just my 3 cent!
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