Chrome Barracuda Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 I see the power shifting... The moment he starts to detach more the more she gets in tune with her feelings. But she's already destroyed her marriage she might not have the tools to work them out and besides he's detaching. that detachment is not gonna help get them back together. Resentment builds up. and he's gonna find that self confidence within him. I think men take affairs harder because we expect our wives to be great and then when we see their ugly sides we go, why am I even married. I think women when betrayed go through this too. but when a man is faithful and his wife is not, either he builds up or crumbles. Sounds like wibble is startin to stand up. if his wife wants to work this out she better start o help with her issues and rededicate herself.
soserious1 Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 "I cannot shake the feeling that she has only stayed with me because I was the only game in town. No-one else would want a 40-something mother of three, certainly not lover-boy." Your marriage is toast, it's all over except the crying. Get a decent lawyer, try to mediate a civil agreement for the sake of the kids.
cyabye Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 Wibble, I was in a similar situation as you. You know what needs to be done. Lizzie60, to be blunt, I think your advice sucks and has nothing to do with what Wibble was asking. I question your morality in relationships and can tell you your advice does NOT offer anything positive or good for Wibble's situation. Yeah right, and affair is all he needs. His actions would be no better than hers. Chrome, I love reading your posts man. Gives me the strength to continue to do what I have to do everyday. Thanks. cyabye
NatoPMT Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 Thanks for all the input. In a way everyone is right in their view of the situation - one way or another something has to happen. Well maybe, just maybe, something has.... She has admitted that she has been seeing a counsellor for several weeks to try and sort out her head. I have given her my pen'orth (that she is a chronic narcissist, constantly seeking attention and affirmation, due to a deep lack of self worth.) The penny has finally begun to drop - maybe the world does not see her as she sees herself etc. She is very depressed and unable to rationalize her response to this realisation, so she is swinging violently from anger to sorrow, etc. Basically, all the neuroses she has run from her entire life have burst through the dam of self delusion, and she is swamped. I am rather detached from all this as it is not news to me, but the source of some small satisfaction that at last I am able to "get at" some of the personality issues that have governed her behaviour. This really is the last roll of the dice. If she is unable to be honest about her problems, and the need to address them, then there is little hope for the future. Thanks for all your input, everyone. It is all useful. Take care out there. the above sounds like this element of the detachment is as a result of her seeing what youve seen all along, rather than her reacting to your detachment thereby having a moment of clarity - which way round is it wibble can you clarify for the cheap seats at the back please? that would have an effect on how i view your situation
cyabye Posted July 19, 2008 Posted July 19, 2008 the above sounds like this element of the detachment is as a result of her seeing what youve seen all along, rather than her reacting to your detachment thereby having a moment of clarity - which way round is it wibble can you clarify for the cheap seats at the back please? that would have an effect on how i view your situation Huh? cyabye
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