HeatherAngel Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 I've been reading LOADS on here about no contact and how beneficial it is... fair enough, there is some really good advice and a lot of strong people here. My situation feels a little different... maybe I am fooling myself. <rolls eyes> The thing is, we aren't necessarily 'finished'... neither of us said - I'm absolutely done, I don' want to talk to you ever again, don't contact me. My husband moved out July 5th. Today is day 10 of no contact. He asked for this - he specifically asked for no contact for July because he needs space away from me. I am giving him this no contact because he has asked for it, and I want to respect his wishes. After all, I asked for things, too - after July. I asked him to contact me, we'll text and chat, and see each other, and see if we can rebuild from scratch. I figure it this way: if he can agree to what I asked for (and he did agree), I can agree to what he asked for (no contact). He has said he will be in touch sooner, 'if he misses me' - now that's a painful road, since I am thinking all the time: 'Well, he hasn't contacted me, so he must not be missing me' - which is emotional reaction rather than logical thinking. Either way, it's hard as he!!. And so what I am wondering is this: Can no contact ever be a GOOD thing for a COUPLE, as opposed to ebing good for the individuals involved?? It seems to me it will pull us farther apart. I know for me, at least - and I SO did not want this separation! - even in 10 days I can see more clearly what failed in our marriage, and why he needed to leave - nothing would ever have changed if he'd stayed. I am able to work on myself, and I can only assume he is able to do the same... but how can NOT talking ever bring us back to any kind of reconciliation? It's all very bizarre.
Author HeatherAngel Posted July 15, 2008 Author Posted July 15, 2008 No one has even a comment? Huh. Fair enough. LOL
kizik Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 You need a GOOD amount of time. Maybe it will work out, but 10 days aint even close. IMO you need months.
foxh1234 Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 Hi, I think a month apart could be very good for both of you. It will give you both some time and space to look at yourselves as individuals and miss each other. Give him the month and then sit down and talk.
sultry33 Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 i think no contact is so you can heal, not neccessarily to make up after.. i too agree that imo abscence is making me move on not miss him.. i miss him anyway:) and to me if he missed me he would call/text.. accidently or something.. not complete silience
sunshinegirl Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 I think you might get different replies from people in the married or separated/divorced sections of Loveshack. NC between married people who are struggling is, I think, a different beast than NC between an unmarried couple that has broken up.
Author HeatherAngel Posted July 15, 2008 Author Posted July 15, 2008 And thanks Sunshine - I'll cross post over there.
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