frogirl69 Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 Well for you that have kept up with my past threads I wanna thank you for the valueble advice. Well the last thing i posted was about how we decided to work things out. Well that didn't work out so well for us because she is just playing games with me. She tried to move in like 2 weeks ago and in two days she moved right back out. When she left she moved in wit the OW. She lived there up untill this past saturday. She moved out because her and the woman got into this big fight so she came back to stay wit me and what do you know? She left last night this time to stay with a friend. She tells me that she wanted to come back home and try to work it out but she is just not ready right now. She also tells me that she can't get used to being there anymore. Well she tells me that she likes the OW and she hates to be there with me and thinking about her. She says that now that she is gone from home and from her house she is really gonna think about wat she wants. Last night she confessed to me that she called the OW and that she missed her thats why she did it. I tell her that if she wants to get over her she needs to cut all contact with her. She says she knows that but its hard. I am so hurt,confused and so many other things I need some insight to this situation. Please help!!!!!
Owl Posted July 16, 2008 Posted July 16, 2008 It sounds to me like you need to go over to marriagebuilders, and read up on plan A and plan B. They have a decent plan for dealing with infidelity...take a look at those plans (marriagebuilders.com).
jj2007 Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 Tell her to leave you alone until she can get her $h!t together! You are letting her have both you and OW. Again, you do not need this stress and drama in your life right now! Again, take care of you and your babies! If I were you, I would tell her not to even bother contacting me unless the OW was completely out of her life and she is ready to reconcile with you. Please be strong about this! We are here for you! Hugs!
Angel1111 Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 It sounds to me like you need to go over to marriagebuilders, and read up on plan A and plan B. They have a decent plan for dealing with infidelity...take a look at those plans (marriagebuilders.com). Why even do that when she doesn't even want to be there? Frogirl: She's extremely confused and you need to be away from her. Letting her back into your life every time she wants to come back isn't helping her confusion at all. It's only mudding the waters. Don't worry about what she wants or who she wants - just walk away from this. It'll never get any better.
Owl Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 Why even do that when she doesn't even want to be there? Because what Frogirl has described is the standard, classic confusion that a WS displays. Moving in and out...waffling on decisions...etc...this is all textbook. Plan A and plan B provide a good way to END that confusion and allow them to recover. I'm not sure I understand your question, really. Why should FG NOT try to recover her relationship?
Chrome Barracuda Posted July 18, 2008 Posted July 18, 2008 Why are you putting up with all this nonsense? I thought lesbians was faithful? Dayum. the other side of the field aint safe no more either! Why dont you just let her go frogirl. move on emotionally and find someone else is single and who is gonna do you right?
Author frogirl69 Posted July 21, 2008 Author Posted July 21, 2008 I compleatly understand wat all of you are telling me. Its all great advice i just wish i was strong enough to jus tell her to leave me alone. I guess cuz if i do tell her dat it gives her more room to get closer the the OW. I also am so depressed dat i am pregnant and i need someone here to share all these happy moments with. I am moving into a new apt and i told myself dat when i move into it and she is still confused and she dnt know wat to do then ima jus tell her to cut all contact wit me.
jj2007 Posted July 22, 2008 Posted July 22, 2008 I compleatly understand wat all of you are telling me. Its all great advice i just wish i was strong enough to jus tell her to leave me alone. I guess cuz if i do tell her dat it gives her more room to get closer the the OW. I also am so depressed dat i am pregnant and i need someone here to share all these happy moments with. I am moving into a new apt and i told myself dat when i move into it and she is still confused and she dnt know wat to do then ima jus tell her to cut all contact wit me. You are strong enough! You can do this! I know you love her and you are hurting but if you stand up to her and tell her to hit the road until she is ready to be with you and you only she will see that you are not a doormat and that you can stand up for yourself and your children and that you are one strong lady! Who knows, she may gain a new respect for you. Really think about it. Do you want this situation around your children when they are born? They don't need some woman coming into and out of their lives when she wants to. They need stable loving parents and a healthy home environment. You need to be strong now and put your foot down. If she comes back and you work it out, great! If she doesn't, you will be better off and so will your kids without that drama in your lives. Keep your chin up and keep posting! We are here for you and know what you are going through!
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