jesmel Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 Hello. It has ben a few months since I last posted. Let me give you a quick run down Have been seeing my mm for 2.5 years. He has been married almost 11 years. Now my question is, how do I support him while he is going through a divorce. His wife filed. I do not want to treat him like a baby, but I would like for him to know that I am here if needed. Also, I want to know what transpired, the conversation, between them. Is it too much to ask and expect an answer?
Lookingforward Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 Hello. It has ben a few months since I last posted. Let me give you a quick run down Have been seeing my mm for 2.5 years. He has been married almost 11 years. Now my question is, how do I support him while he is going through a divorce. His wife filed. I do not want to treat him like a baby, but I would like for him to know that I am here if needed. Also, I want to know what transpired, the conversation, between them. Is it too much to ask and expect an answer? You can let him know you are there if he needs support (not to be his therapist/divorce coach though) but as far as any conversations between them - that's their private business imo, as I'm sure you would like your and his conversations to be private from his stbxW, right ? JUst be aware that if his W filed, he may be subject to an even greater emotional rollercoaster during this time than if he had filed. Sometimes it's better to steer clear until the D is final and the dust settles.
Author jesmel Posted July 15, 2008 Author Posted July 15, 2008 thanks. The advice makes sense. I do not want him to share our conversations with her. I can not help but to continue to be curious.
Lizzie60 Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 thanks. The advice makes sense. I do not want him to share our conversations with her. I can not help but to continue to be curious. I agree with Looking.. just tell him that you are there for him.. don't initiate the conversations about his D.. if he wants to talk about it .. he will.. just be patient.. one day he will tell you all the details.. but I know.. I would be dying to know too..
whichwayisup Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 Hello. It has ben a few months since I last posted. Let me give you a quick run down Have been seeing my mm for 2.5 years. He has been married almost 11 years. Now my question is, how do I support him while he is going through a divorce. His wife filed. I do not want to treat him like a baby, but I would like for him to know that I am here if needed. Also, I want to know what transpired, the conversation, between them. Is it too much to ask and expect an answer? Yes it is too much to ask. Let him be. Let him sort out his divorce, if he needs to talk, listen and be there, but don't push and ask questions. How they handle this and what they talk about is between them, as curious as you may be, (sorry to sound harsh here) it isn't your business. thanks. The advice makes sense. I do not want him to share our conversations with her. I can not help but to continue to be curious. If you don't want him to share your conversations with her, then don't expect him to share theirs with you. Just common decency and respect.
GreenEyedLady Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 Hello. It has ben a few months since I last posted. Let me give you a quick run down Have been seeing my mm for 2.5 years. He has been married almost 11 years. Now my question is, how do I support him while he is going through a divorce. His wife filed. I do not want to treat him like a baby, but I would like for him to know that I am here if needed. Also, I want to know what transpired, the conversation, between them. Is it too much to ask and expect an answer? Are you still in a R with him? If you are then I think you're entitled to know exactly what's going on and he should willingly be telling you what's going on. If he's hiding stuff, then red flag. If he's wanting space, red flag and let him be. Just because he's going through a divorce doesn't mean your life has to be on hold or you're to walk on eggshells around him. This is YOUR life too. If you're not still in a R with him, then you're not entitled to any information and you should leave him be and move on. Don't wait around for him.
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