Narf Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 Argh! Im so frustrated today and i cant shake it... I started No Contact a week ago with a guy i had been seeing on and off for a year... I know he is young and immature and i know he isnt ready for anything serious... He was damaged from his last relationship where the girl turned into a mental case and has been hanging around for the last 2 years.. He attempts to be friends with her cause i honestly think he is a good guy and doesnt want to hurt anyone but she thinks this is them getting back together starts being all crazy again and he has to push her away again.. I think it hurts him to do this Anyways side tracked... Him and me... I started no contact because he cant treat me as a friend.. We have tried a couple of times and he always crosses the line with ... Your so nice i should ask you out again or You are awesome your the type of girl i could marry... So i get pulled back into the "maybe" there is a chance.. I try to fight that feeling and i tell him to back it up he doesnt need to string me along... We are friends cause that is all he wants... He pushes and pushes.. Last time he broke and wanted to "talk". He misses me and wants to hangout again but doesnt want a relationship... I say ok but can you keep it friends? not touch me .. not flirt and he says no... So i say well we cant hangout then cause i dont want to have to fight my feelings everytime he starts being cute.. That lasted 2 weeks when again he starts with the "your so nice, i should ask you out", "I think about you lots"... I tried to ignore it but im getting frustrated with him and was at the stage of it had to be give it ago or nothing... I called him and we talked... He said again he si not ready for a realtionship and he is sorry im feeling the way i am... I say ok i have to go to no contact because your playing with me and i have no control or say in it... He says if that is what i want he will do it... So convo ends.. That night i have a txt saying "Im sorry for everything... It is just when i think of you cuddling up to someone else it makes me sick... Im never good at talking about this stuff.. Never have been :(" When i got it i was sooo Angry! how dare he message.. It wasnt to make me feel better it was for his benefit! I deleted it and his number and continued no contact... It has been a week and im struggling I know if the things he said were true then he would message me... but he hasnt and isnt... Our friends play squash once a week Last week both of us made excuses and didnt go... this week he made an excuse and didnt go ... Which i have mixed feelings.. My head has accepted that he was leading me on and he just "wasnt that into me" but something else in me is saying im being harsh and cutting him totally off was silly... I guess i thought he would get in contact... That he would figure "im not ready for a relationship but i dont want to lose her so i will be her friend" but he hasnt... and it hurts :/ I guess i have no real questions here.. but i must admit writing it down has made the urge to message go again...
D-Lish Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 I think you are doing the right thing by staying away from him. If you have feelings for him and he just plays the "push-pull" game with you, it's only going to lead to you being hurt. If he isn't over his ex yet- it's just a bad time to be involved with him- whether it's as friends or romantically. He obviously needs time to sort his stuff out. Let him track you down when he has thought this whole thing through and can make some concrete decisions about what he wants from you. It's unfair to both of you to remain entangled when he doesn't know what he wants and you have feelings for him.
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