Author Linux Posted July 15, 2008 Author Posted July 15, 2008 I chickened out, tried to call her out for drinks and she flaked again. Probably won't hear from her for another few weeks.
D-Lish Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 Linux, why do you want to get together with this girl?
Author Linux Posted July 15, 2008 Author Posted July 15, 2008 Dunno, I just got to thinking I got nothing to lose but something to gain. I don't really lose anything by continuing to agree to meet up with her besides maybe my pride (but who cares, I don't really know her and only met her once), but on the off chance she doesn't flake one day I can go out and have a good time.
Author Linux Posted July 15, 2008 Author Posted July 15, 2008 I know she is playing games and its stupid to keep agreeing to meet with her knowing shes going to flake but I got to thinking I honestly don't give a damn. If she flakes and laughs at me for it, oh well, I likely will never see her again so why should it bother me?
Author Linux Posted July 15, 2008 Author Posted July 15, 2008 I already respect myself and don't feel pathetic in the slightest.
Phateless Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 Next time she calls, pick up the phone with "Well hello there flaker! :)" and be FUN and PLAYFUL and TEASE her about it. Don't be mean, pissy, vindictive, bitter, etc. Just make fun of her for it. Bust her balls. When she suggests a meet up, come back with something like "no thanks. My time is valuable, I'd rather make plans with my friends who show up when they say they do." and see how she responds. You have to show her that you're not willing to take her BS.
Shygirl15 Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 She doesn't really like you but perhaps can not express that to you. She feels guilty about it sometimes because she knows you clearly like her, and calls you up to make all these plans just to make you feel good. Later on, she realizes that she really cannot bring herself to go out with you, and even blames herself for making plans with you earlier. Quick, non-awkward solution? Avoids your calls. She dissappears for a while, then reappears after feeling guilty again and same scene is replayed one more time.
DunnoWhat Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 A bit of background, I met this chick about 2 months or so ago, once at a friends house while drinking one night. She seemed like a cool chick, we talked, while we were both drunk and she was grinding all over me. Didn't really take it any farther than that but I got her number and we planned to do something the following week. Anyhow, all during the week we randomly chit chatted on the phone, texted each other, kinda seemed like we were hitting it off. So the day we are suppose to go out and get drinks, she completely flakes on me. I'm not talking about calling me at the last minute and canceling, I'm talking about a total and complete flake out, where I call her around 9 (we were going to meet at 10) and she doesn't pick up her phone and never calls me back the rest of the night. I was kinda wondering what happened so I said whatever and did something else that night. So like a week goes by and she randomly texts me, asking me how I'm doing and what I've been up to, not even mentioning the flake out, or apologizing for it. It's like it never happened and she completely ignore it. I was very confused so I just went along also like nothing happened... So she ask me if we can go out that weekend, I hesitantly agree but made sure I had backup plans in case of a flake. Long story short, we talked all during the week and she flaked again that weekend. This time, I don't hear from her for a month or so, and she calls me again acting like nothing happened. We make plans again, this time I don't even take her seriously and I already had gone that night, but I call her again for the hell of it while I'm out and sure enough, HER PHONE WAS TURNED OFF. The other times it just rang to her voice mail, but she just took it to the next level and completely turned her phone off. I literally did not give a damn as I was already out drinking with me friends and didn't plan to see her anyway. Fast forward to yesterday, she calls me randomly out of the blue calls me out of the blue yesterday asking if we can have drinks today. I laughingly said sure, I'll call you tomorrow around 10. I'm 99.9% sure it's going to be another flake but at this point I find this strange and sorta comical. Anybody else know someone like this? What is the purpose of this? At this point I'm really starting to think there is something mentally wrong with her. The exact same thing happened me a few months ago. Only difference is I didn't ignore it and asked her why and she said she was too nervous. I gave her a second chance and same thing. She contacts me after a few weeks then and I arrange a 3rd date and as I fully expected she flaked again. She apologised for that too but all I could do was laugh at her. She's an idiot.
xpaperxcutx Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 I know she is playing games and its stupid to keep agreeing to meet with her knowing shes going to flake but I got to thinking I honestly don't give a damn. If she flakes and laughs at me for it, oh well, I likely will never see her again so why should it bother me? You're bothered enough to post about her. Why do you keep answering her calls? Next time she calls, turn off your phone.
daphne Posted July 16, 2008 Posted July 16, 2008 It's not only females who flake out. This past week alone I had one guy/one female flake on me. The guy was to hang out with. Never heard back from him even though he was the one to make plans (of course.) The female had invited me to stay with her on vacation but totally flaked out in a crappy way. She was a known flake, so I was somewhat prepared. I didn't take the first personally because i wasn't particularly invested or really interested in the guy and he had sort of shown his colors already and is pretty immature. THe second was a little tougher since i lost a friendship over it because she was such a jerk about it. Honestly, they're both very young and immature. I attribute flakey behavior to 20 somethings. I don't know why you keep trying to hang out with this girl. It's good that you don't take it personally, but she just sounds like a waste of time.
Phateless Posted July 16, 2008 Posted July 16, 2008 She doesn't really like you but perhaps can not express that to you. She feels guilty about it sometimes because she knows you clearly like her, and calls you up to make all these plans just to make you feel good. Later on, she realizes that she really cannot bring herself to go out with you, and even blames herself for making plans with you earlier. Quick, non-awkward solution? Avoids your calls. She dissappears for a while, then reappears after feeling guilty again and same scene is replayed one more time. Yup. Exactly. If it will make you feel better, tell her off. Otherwise, ignore her calls and move on. You are only killing your confidence with other women.
Trialbyfire Posted July 16, 2008 Posted July 16, 2008 There are two main reasons for flakiness: Selfish individuals who believe their time and emotions at the moment are far more important than keeping a commitment. It's an inherent lack of respect for the needs of another person.A lack of interest.It could easily be a combination of both. I agree that you should just cut her loose. She has a lot of growing up to do.
porter218 Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 Next time she calls, pick up the phone with "Well hello there flaker! :)" and be FUN and PLAYFUL and TEASE her about it. Don't be mean, pissy, vindictive, bitter, etc. Just make fun of her for it. Bust her balls. When she suggests a meet up, come back with something like "no thanks. My time is valuable, I'd rather make plans with my friends who show up when they say they do." and see how she responds. You have to show her that you're not willing to take her BS. No! don't say that, then it makes you look pathetic like it hurt you or something. You are far better off making over the top outrageous plans with her that are absolute BS, crazy enough plans that she knows you are just picking on her. I would just have fun with it, this situation is hilarious.
confused and broken Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 I honestly believe that she is bored so she calls you when she has nothing better to do... she likes the attention and to know that she has a boy at her beck and call.. but she doesn't like you... You boost her self-esteem and she knows if she ever got really desperate she could meet up with you.. it's flattering to her... But she is not interested... not at all.. she is avoiding you in person at all cost... You're being played... I know and I guarantee it... And to set the record straight boys do it too maybe even more than girls
Redbull Rider Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 Anybody else know someone like this? What is the purpose of this? At this point I'm really starting to think there is something mentally wrong with her. i've got a friend like this. funny i met her while we were both drunk too (maybe that should tell us something). i'm assuming she's really hot right? i think thats part of the charm of hot chicks, some of them can be flaky as dandruff. i couldnt tell you the purpose of it or if there even is a purpose all i know is i dont invite her to anything where her presence would be integral to me enjoying myself.
imbewildered Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 I know she is playing games and its stupid to keep agreeing to meet with her knowing shes going to flake but I got to thinking I honestly don't give a damn. If she flakes and laughs at me for it, oh well, I likely will never see her again so why should it bother me? This is what you have done... You have reinforced crap behavior from a manipulative power player who pushes and toys with mens affections and feelings to feed her own sense of amusement and control.. Every time you (or any man ) tolerates this atrocious behavior, you reduce and demean YOURSELF and you add to the probability that she will feel entitled to do the exact same thing to the next guy. The way to deal with flaking is to CUT HER OFF. One strike and she is out.
BUTTAFLYH Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 You sound as if you're one of the many guys out there who just can't get enough of the biotches. I hope that's not the case. But that's what you sound like. Unfortunately you seem to be intrigued by her being an a.s.s.hole. There is no reason for her doing it other than she can. And of course she's having fun with the power she feels she has over you. Rock on.
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