Linux Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 A bit of background, I met this chick about 2 months or so ago, once at a friends house while drinking one night. She seemed like a cool chick, we talked, while we were both drunk and she was grinding all over me. Didn't really take it any farther than that but I got her number and we planned to do something the following week. Anyhow, all during the week we randomly chit chatted on the phone, texted each other, kinda seemed like we were hitting it off. So the day we are suppose to go out and get drinks, she completely flakes on me. I'm not talking about calling me at the last minute and canceling, I'm talking about a total and complete flake out, where I call her around 9 (we were going to meet at 10) and she doesn't pick up her phone and never calls me back the rest of the night. I was kinda wondering what happened so I said whatever and did something else that night. So like a week goes by and she randomly texts me, asking me how I'm doing and what I've been up to, not even mentioning the flake out, or apologizing for it. It's like it never happened and she completely ignore it. I was very confused so I just went along also like nothing happened... So she ask me if we can go out that weekend, I hesitantly agree but made sure I had backup plans in case of a flake. Long story short, we talked all during the week and she flaked again that weekend. This time, I don't hear from her for a month or so, and she calls me again acting like nothing happened. We make plans again, this time I don't even take her seriously and I already had gone that night, but I call her again for the hell of it while I'm out and sure enough, HER PHONE WAS TURNED OFF. The other times it just rang to her voice mail, but she just took it to the next level and completely turned her phone off. I literally did not give a damn as I was already out drinking with me friends and didn't plan to see her anyway. Fast forward to yesterday, she calls me randomly out of the blue calls me out of the blue yesterday asking if we can have drinks today. I laughingly said sure, I'll call you tomorrow around 10. I'm 99.9% sure it's going to be another flake but at this point I find this strange and sorta comical. Anybody else know someone like this? What is the purpose of this? At this point I'm really starting to think there is something mentally wrong with her.
Chinook Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 It's a game to her. To see if she has you hooked... and she does so far. If I were you, I'd quit and leave her in the dust.
Balthazar Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 Why don't you question her about her behavior? I mean, I can understand her flaking once, but why continue to make plans with her if she does this constantly? And why not ask for some explanation?
Author Linux Posted July 14, 2008 Author Posted July 14, 2008 It's a game to her. To see if she has you hooked... and she does so far. If I were you, I'd quit and leave her in the dust. Ok but what is the point of this game? Why bother chit chatting with me all week if you intend to flake ahead of time? Exactly what game is she trying to win if I just end up going out and doing other things anyway? I have know my share of flakes, but never to this level.
Author Linux Posted July 14, 2008 Author Posted July 14, 2008 Why don't you question her about her behavior? I mean, I can understand her flaking once, but why continue to make plans with her if she does this constantly? And why not ask for some explanation? At first I planned to but after she acted like nothing happened I was thinking oh well so will I. There's no harm in making plans with her I dont intend to keep anyway.
gummybear Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 What is almost worse than her being a flake is that you put up with it! If she flaked on you even ONCE without giving you a proper explanation, you should of already cut her off. Plus you should of asked her why she flaked. How can she take you seriously if you act like a doormat to her?
Author Linux Posted July 14, 2008 Author Posted July 14, 2008 What is almost worse than her being a flake is that you put up with it! If she flaked on you even ONCE without giving you a proper explanation, you should of already cut her off. Plus you should of asked her why she flaked. How can she take you seriously if you act like a doormat to her? How am I a doormat if I am out partying while she flakes? I actually feel sorry for her if she is the sitting at home while flaking.
sid3 Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 Don't bother asking for an explanation, flakes are usually bs'ers too. Good that your finding out now instead of later. It probably is an emotional issue of her's. She obviously likes the attention. It will be far easier for you to find a new chick than it would be to continue pursuing a flakey one. One flake is too many, tolerable at best, more than that, she's just playing games. To beat her at her own game, don't play anymore.
Chinook Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 She obviously likes the attention. That's why it's a game. That's what she gets out of it. Without having to put anything into it. To beat her at her own game, don't play anymore. Agreed. She doesn't give a cr@p anyhow. Although, once he doesn't play with her, he may find she works a little harder for his attention for a while and might even stretch to actually meeting up (don't count on it though).
TheSilentType Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 She just wants to see how many times she can get you to make plans
Author Linux Posted July 14, 2008 Author Posted July 14, 2008 Actually what I am going to do is just flake on her first. Going to call her right now and leave her a voice mail telling her something came up and that I'll call her later (which I won't).
TheSilentType Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 Just say Im looking forward to meeting you. Then dont go
gummybear Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 Actually what I am going to do is just flake on her first. Going to call her right now and leave her a voice mail telling her something came up and that I'll call her later (which I won't). Why waste time taking 'revenge' on her? She's not worth your time and you shouldn't lower yourself to her level by flaking yourself. Just ignore her, let it go, and meet another girl who doesn't flake.
gummybear Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 How am I a doormat if I am out partying while she flakes? I actually feel sorry for her if she is the sitting at home while flaking. You are a doormat because you GIVE her the chance to flake on you when you should of ignored her after the first time...'fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me!'
Crestfallen_KH Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 How am I a doormat if I am out partying while she flakes? I actually feel sorry for her if she is the sitting at home while flaking. I think it's a little funny that you assume she is sitting at home. She likely isn't, which is why she's flaking. She's got other things she'd rather do, and by agreeing to keep meeting her, you're allowing her to think that YOU'RE the desperate idiot who's sitting at home.
D-Lish Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 Actually what I am going to do is just flake on her first. Going to call her right now and leave her a voice mail telling her something came up and that I'll call her later (which I won't). I wouldn't even call her. She's flaked so many times she doesn't deserve the energy it takes you to open your phone and dial her number. How much you want to bet if you don't call her that she calls you? I'd write someone like this off. Not worth your time.
porter218 Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 Next time she calls and asks if you want to go out. You should agree like nothing has happened. Tell her to meet you at your private jet, and tell her you are going to take her to this fabulous restaurant in Italy. . She is just a flake so take her retarded game to the next level.
Author Linux Posted July 14, 2008 Author Posted July 14, 2008 Bah girls are so stupid. Flaking games are beyond retarded.
porter218 Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 girls aren't the only ones. I have seen my brother do this retarded game to girls.
ate_the_paint Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 Haha, I love this thread. To answer the original question, I think that it comes down to thoughtlessness and/or cowardice. They are thoughtless because they don't give a damn if they flake out on you or not, and they are cowards because they are too afraid to 'fess up as to why they are flaking out. You know what you do with flakes? You get frosty.
D-Lish Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 Bah girls are so stupid. Flaking games are beyond retarded. That is why you shouldn't play her game anymore! Take her out of your phone and ignore her if she contacts you again. If it takes this long for her to meet up for one date... she is def playing a ridiculous game. Better yet- next time she texts you just respond with "who is this??" lol- just kidding- you don't want to reduce yourself to her level.
forrest Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 I actually find this hilarious. Linux, if you are getting a kick out of making plans with her and then having her flake, who gives a sh** what she thinks about u. If I was in your shoes I would probably be having an interesting conversation with my buds about this.
Lookingforward Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 That is why you shouldn't play her game anymore! Take her out of your phone and ignore her if she contacts you again. If it takes this long for her to meet up for one date... she is def playing a ridiculous game. Better yet- next time she texts you just respond with "who is this??" lol- just kidding- you don't want to reduce yourself to her level. LMAO - I actually like this one.............do it
LoveDeluxe78 Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 A bit of background, I met this chick about 2 months or so ago, once at a friends house while drinking one night. She seemed like a cool chick, we talked, while we were both drunk and she was grinding all over me. Didn't really take it any farther than that but I got her number and we planned to do something the following week. Anyhow, all during the week we randomly chit chatted on the phone, texted each other, kinda seemed like we were hitting it off. So the day we are suppose to go out and get drinks, she completely flakes on me. I'm not talking about calling me at the last minute and canceling, I'm talking about a total and complete flake out, where I call her around 9 (we were going to meet at 10) and she doesn't pick up her phone and never calls me back the rest of the night. I was kinda wondering what happened so I said whatever and did something else that night. So like a week goes by and she randomly texts me, asking me how I'm doing and what I've been up to, not even mentioning the flake out, or apologizing for it. It's like it never happened and she completely ignore it. I was very confused so I just went along also like nothing happened... So she ask me if we can go out that weekend, I hesitantly agree but made sure I had backup plans in case of a flake. Long story short, we talked all during the week and she flaked again that weekend. This time, I don't hear from her for a month or so, and she calls me again acting like nothing happened. We make plans again, this time I don't even take her seriously and I already had gone that night, but I call her again for the hell of it while I'm out and sure enough, HER PHONE WAS TURNED OFF. The other times it just rang to her voice mail, but she just took it to the next level and completely turned her phone off. I literally did not give a damn as I was already out drinking with me friends and didn't plan to see her anyway. Fast forward to yesterday, she calls me randomly out of the blue calls me out of the blue yesterday asking if we can have drinks today. I laughingly said sure, I'll call you tomorrow around 10. I'm 99.9% sure it's going to be another flake but at this point I find this strange and sorta comical. Anybody else know someone like this? What is the purpose of this? At this point I'm really starting to think there is something mentally wrong with her. I'm sorry you had to go through this. Her behavior is completely unacceptable. I understand giving her another chance the FIRST time since I always give people the benefit of the doubt, although her call after the first flake session with NO valid explanation should have raised some red flags. But after the second time, you are now aware of this behavior and if you choose to give her another chance and she does it again, then it really is your fault this time around for allowing it to happen. I forgot how old you mentioned she was, or if you did, but it is neither an age thing or a gender thing. I know plenty of women who DON'T act this way and I know guys who are equally flaky, such as a recent experience that happened to me where a guy made plans with me and then disappeared. It's a horrible feeling. In addition, there is no need to "seek revenge" or gain leverage or anything like that because she is the one who acted inappropriately; she is the one who should be embarrassed. However, I am all about taking accountability and if you let her do this to you again, then I don't really feel as bad for you. Lastly, she is really not that interested in you. I hate to break the bad news to you, but it's a game to her - a game to receive some attention, to know she can always get your attention and that you'll always forgive her. So in conclusion, I say drop her! Delete her #, don't take her calls, don't try reasoning anything out with her, don't tell her why you're mad because SILENCE SENDS THE LOUDEST MESSAGE...just ignore her and move on!!! Hope this helps!!!!
Chrome Barracuda Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 I been through this when i was younger but i dont tolerate the bull****, life is too short to be wasted on the stupid. The first time they mess up it be the last time too. I dont like it when girls play games either. I dont know why they do it. but it is frustrating because they push away men who can potentially be good too. and their immaturity really ruins it for them.
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