Fun2BMe Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 I am going through a crisis. I am having a lot of drama with my ex who only recentl re-entered my life. I have written a VERY LONG tell-all email that I am so ready to press the send button on but am so scared I will regret it. Please stop me from sending it!! I sent one a few months ago that devestated my life and now I am doing it again and can't stop myself:o:confused:
Chinook Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 F2BM - not sure if you recall, it was a while ago. I wrote an email to my ex-partner who was with his now partner and he'd asked me about reconciliation and completely fecked with my head. I wrote it, I called him all the spineless, cheating SOBs I could think of. I told him how he had wasted my time and a hundred other things. All that email did was allow me to blow off steam. He didn't reply to it. Even worse, he never mentioned it thereafter and I felt like a complete fool re-reading it several weeks later. Just. Don't. Do. It. Really
Author Fun2BMe Posted July 14, 2008 Author Posted July 14, 2008 But this email isn't so much telling him off, than how I am feeling - it's all about me and what his actions have done to me. It's very long and I don't know how else I would have the opportunity to say ALL the things in it and for him to know how much I am hurting right now because of him.
Chinook Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 Yea, this was pretty much the same deal for me. But here's the thing... it's all about me and what his actions have done to me You know what...? That's exactly how it is. And the kicker is...? He doesn't give a cr@p about you because he'd never have done/said the things he has done which he is bound to have known would hurt you. In short, if he wasn't going to hurt you, he wouldn't have done. So the only person who would feel better with that email, is you. So to that end, he doesn't need to know how you're feeling, how he hurt you. For someone with the capability to hurt you so much, he doesn't deserve more of your time and effort and he certainly doesn't deserve to know what you're feeling right now. Your inner most hurts and pain, he gave up the right to know about when you guys were finished.
Author Fun2BMe Posted July 14, 2008 Author Posted July 14, 2008 Ouch, that REALLY hurts badly to read that. But it is really making me think twice for the moment...
Chinook Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 I know. And that's exactly how I should have been thinking. Instead, I made a total fool of myself
critter909 Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 I think it's good that you have written the email. I think it helps to get your feelings out and clear in your head. But I don't think you want to send it. I have written two long letters that I at the time felt extremely compelled to send. Luckily I didn't. Give yourself at least a couple of days to think it over. Re-read it every day and see what you think. I am so glad I did not send mine. It's not that the feelings expressed are untrue but trust me, things change over time. Once you send it you can't take it back, so be sure.
wareagle Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 You know what...? That's exactly how it is. And the kicker is...? He doesn't give a cr@p about you because he'd never have done/said the things he has done which he is bound to have known would hurt you. In short, if he wasn't going to hurt you, he wouldn't have done. So the only person who would feel better with that email, is you. So to that end, he doesn't need to know how you're feeling, how he hurt you. For someone with the capability to hurt you so much, he doesn't deserve more of your time and effort and he certainly doesn't deserve to know what you're feeling right now. Your inner most hurts and pain, he gave up the right to know about when you guys were finished. Chinook, you are exactly right!!!!! Well put, I am going to take these words to heart!!!!!!!
Author Fun2BMe Posted July 15, 2008 Author Posted July 15, 2008 I made a file in my mailbox titled "Venting". I put that email plus 4 subsequent ones I wrote since then in it - first I sent them to myself, then I moved them into that file. With each email I wrote expressing my feelings and sometimes telling him off, I was sure it was sounding good enough to hurt him and send him, then by the time I went back to write another one with newer ideas I had, I was already glad for not sending the other ones. To make things more pathetic, he just called me and I agreed to go to dinner with him:confused:Plus in the middle of our conversation, his cell phone started ringing, he said he'd call me back and I'm still sitting here waiting 10 minutes later:sick:Why do I have the feeling I am setting myself up for more hurt??? I CAN'T BELIEVE HE HASN'T CALLED BACK YET wtf I also scheduled an appointment with another therapist for tomorrow afternoon I can't wait for before I screw up further. That was after I left my current therapist who's on vacation a long tear filled angry voicemail about how I'm in crisis and she's away.
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