ciaobella4007 Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 My ex and I broke up last September. Basically, I know the reason we broke up is bc of lost attraction from him for me. We had our problems, but if he really loved me, he'd try to work them out. After we broke up, I took it hard. He tried the Friends w/ Benefits thing w/ me and eventually, I cut it off. I had no contact with him from last October to June. He didn't once try to contact me I have to see him once a month bc of work and last month (June), I called him after work. He was flirting with me that day and I broke down by calling him. I told him I missed "knowing him" as a person and talking to him. He said, "that really means a lot to me and I appreciate it. we'll talk again about this,ok." I kept the convo short bc he told me he was watching a movie and bc I was so nervous. Next day, he calls me and asks to hang out. I told him i was planning on getting food after working out and maybe he'd join me. He paid for my meal, even though I agreed to pay my half. He says, "you can get lunch next time." Basically it was good, but I made the mistake when I allowed him to come back to my hotel room. We were relaxing watching tv until he kissed me...one thing led to another and I told him I couldn't do this. He apologized and left. I called him two days later to see if he wanted to get some pizza. Basically he apologized again for trying sex and made excuses as to why we couldn't hang out the entire week. I finally called him on it and said, "You know I want to be more than your friend, but i want to be in your life and if that's as a friend, I'll give you your space to figure out what you want." He said, "I know this and don't want to lead you on. I don't think we're compatible and probably won't go down that relationship road again." I took this as a big fat "never gonna be together ever" and thanked him for being honest with me. Problem is he keeps contacting me with text messages. He's still trying to get some and I keep letting him know, it's not happening. I finally had to tell him, "i don't want to hate you so please stop contacting me." I realized I needed the no contact to just get over him bc it kept re-opening wounds. Yesterday at work, this guy I've been kinda seeing stopped by to drop something off with his daughter and my EX saw him. After that, I see my EX at the dining hall with some girl, which he NEVER goes to lunch with one person, only people in our shop, and acts like they're having a ball. After lunch, he tries to talk to me (though he hasn't said ONE word to me the whole day) and finally asks who was the little girl that was here. I know he really wanted to know who the GUY was, but I kept it cool and just said it was a friend. He proceeds to flirt with me and telling me how smart I am and all that stuff, asking me to develop a good meal plan for him bc we were talking about health and eating right. I'm an idiot to want him back, I know. He's playing games with me bc he got jealous when he saw the guy and suddenly changed his "ignore me" tune. I'm going to continue not contacting him, but I wonder if there's any hope for us despite all these negative things and him flat out saying it won't work with us. I want to show him that what we once had can be there again, hence, getting the attraction back.
sigh123 Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 i'm sorry but...i know these type of guys when i see one cuz ive defin see them. and i know you cant help but feel attracted to him because well...if u werent attracted to him, you wouldnt be posting here... but as you know...hes playing stupid games with you.. has he always been that immature? insecure? i find guys who do stupd things like that are incredibly immature. " I don't think we're compatible and probably won't go down that relationship road again." hunny your being WAY TOO NICE TO HIM. From what i see, he likes this cat-and-mouse chase because hes NOT serious about it; he wants sex. You though, you want a real relationship because you genuinely like him. But I just want you to know that...playing games with him is fine if you DONT have feelings for him, it could be fun in a way (to treat jerks like these...), but the problem is you have REAL feelings for him, and thats where its gonna hurt. Your gonna get yourself in a LOT of hurt in the end of this....trust me, i know this one. So I would say, NC. Cut off contact with him. This guy needs to mature up, like now.
Angel1111 Posted July 27, 2008 Posted July 27, 2008 It is possible for attraction to come back but after the statement he made about there being no possibility of having a relationship, he'd have to dance on the ceiling and do handstands for me before I'd even consider going down that road again. You are not stupid for wanting him back but, for the sake of your own dignity, you must know that his words were a complete show-stopper. Despite his attempts to have sex with you - which is very insulting based on what he said, and his apparent jealousy, it does not undo the damage of this comment. There is/was something very wrong in your relationship and, whether you felt it or not, he did and is saying that it was such a problem that he views it as unfixable and that the two of you are completely incompatible. Very difficult to get past.
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