ahsumgurl909 Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 Hopefully some of you can remember my situation with the guy M that had the heart attack? Well things got really bad and I finally kicked him out. The problem is that he is now homeless and its been like 6 months since i tossed him out. I see him every now and again at the park or store. And he's all hot, dirty, and he looks like he's ready to die. And it kills my heart to see him like that. How do you ever dislike someone so much that if you seen them out there suffering you just brush it off like nothing? How does a human being disregard another like that specially when you have known the person for a long time. He has come to my door looking so bad, I didn't let him in but I did give him a cold pitcher of ice cold juice and something to eat. After I handed it to him he would say thank you and walk away. And then a while later he would come to the door and say he was out of gas. So I would scrounge up what little money I had to give him for gas. Then the next time he came he looked even worst. And it was like 112 degrees outside. I let him in and fed him and let him shower he asked me if I could type something up for him and I told him sure and said he may lay down on the couch until I was done. He fell fast asleep. When he woke up about an hour later I still was not finished with his paper and he went ballistic. And grabbed my RM's brand new camera and smashed it in a million pieces on the kitchen floor. I could not believe this and started screaming at the top of my lungs. He grabbed my face and pulled my hair and a glass fell off the counter and broke we fell in the glass and i sat on a huge jagged piece and it was stuck in my leg. He tried to say he was sorry but i pushed him out my door. And just cried and cried. How could someone be so ungrateful after suffering for 6 months being homeless I would have kissed the persons feet for letting me in to cool off and shower and feed me. So now when he knocks I ignore him he pounds on the door like a mad man but I still don't answer. And he finally leaves. Its so hard to ignore him because he is crying and saying please help me. and it makes me feel sick to my stomach that a human being is at my door asking me for help and I have to ignore him. Am I wrong for this?
porter218 Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 Wow, that is awful. You are not wrong at all, he can easily hurt you unexpectedly. Why has he not checked into a homeless shelter? Does he have a drug or drinking problem?
Chinook Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 You are not responsible for this man. His life is where it is because he helped to put it there. What you're doing is called self-preservation. The next time he knocks at your door, either call the local PD or social service to come pick him up.
D-Lish Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 Geesh- and I thought I had some problems with my ex's coming to my door! I'd say you are in danger my friend... How do you know he won't break in? I'd be worried about that. Is he suffering from a mental disorder? Seriously- call the police if he comes around again. I'm worried about what you have said about him and the fact that he might be capable of doing some real harm to you. Please, protect yourself.
Art_Critic Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 Ahsumgirl.. I remember you and your postings about him.. I am so sorry that you have had to witness what has happened to him.. That is so sad.. and must be hard to see someone who you had feelings for at one time go down that path. Remember that it wasn't your fault.. none of it and even when you have extended yourself and given him food/shower and helping him write a paper you don't owe him anything. You sound like you have a big heart... Please be careful around him.. the fact he could've really hurt you is scary.. It sounds like life is getting better for you and you are working thru some of the things that kept him in your life.. Good for you..
replicator Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 Hang in there. It's not your fault - you tried to help him, but really there is only so much one person can do. He needs professional help.
Author ahsumgurl909 Posted July 16, 2008 Author Posted July 16, 2008 Everyone. I always come crawling back to my LS family to get The Best Advice. But I get stronger everyday. The less I hear or see of him the better off i feel. I watched an Intervention on T.V. about a drug addict who actually lived near me. Very nice looking guy on H 23 years old and his family saved his life but putting him on that show. But as i watched the his Step Sister give him money and even drive him to get his drugs because she didn't want him to resort to crime etc. I seen myself in both of them actually. But I understood where she was coming from. She finally told him if you don't get clean I will have no more to do with you. In the end he went and has been clean since January 08. I realize now that when I help him I am preventing him from reaching his bottom. Where he says "Okay I can't live like this anymore." As long as i am doing what he needs to do for himself I am basically prolonging his situation. Yeah "Art Critic" I am doing so much better and I am also getting away from my crazy weird roommate. After 10 long years of feeling bad for her cause she was alone in the world. But guess what happen. Her older Sister found her on my space so i don't have to carry that weight on my shoulders any loner. I'm moving out in 9 days. After living with her for this long under her controlling manipulable ways. I am truly excited to finally be able to live my own life. Its kind of scary. But I think I will finally be able to shine. Again thanks to all of you. Lori
critter909 Posted July 16, 2008 Posted July 16, 2008 I'm afraid I may go through a similar thing as you. My ex bf is an alcoholic who has been unemployed for 2 months, has not even had a job interview, out of control credit card debt and is living with one of his guy friends. I'm so scared that I will see him on the street some day or coming to my door asking for money or a place to stay I'm trying to prepare myself. I'm not sure what to do if it happens. I think it will be very hard to turn my back on him, I still love him deeply. But I have already been enabling him for two years, through other bouts of unemployment and a DUI, I've been told doing that for someone doesn't actually help them. It seems counter intuitive to turn your back on someone in need, but maybe it really is different with addicts?
Author ahsumgurl909 Posted July 16, 2008 Author Posted July 16, 2008 Hopefully he won't turn to you for help. Hopefully he gains a little bit of pride and gets tired of being tired. I went through the helping thing for the whole six months he has been out there. And seriously things got worst every time. I don't recommend it.
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