He let the drunk truth fly...... I feel like garbage....

[pinkrazr]

My boyfriend is awesome.

we've been together for almost 4 years now.

except when hes drunk, the lips shoot stupid things.

In my past I was a party girl. when I was like 18. (i'm 26 now)

I was all about runnin around with my shirt off.

that was just the time in my life. its beyond over now.

I still party with the same friends, but we all grew up!

so I took my boyfriend to this party last night, and ALL of us got in the topic of boobs.

nothing sexual, it was actually about our friend who just had plastic surgery and whatnot. and one of my friends mentioned that I had great boobs. yay.

no biggie. whatever.

so at the end of the night. my boyfriend on the way home, drunk as hell is drilling me. and saying "these people see you as nothing but tits, and i'm sick of it". I was like huh? I've known these people for 15 years! and its not that! what the hell!. I dont wear low cut tops that have major clevage. I actually wear full t-shirts. he always had a prob with his EX years ago who apparently had massive boobs that didnt fit into shirts.....ok. and well, she let em hang out.

so I said to pick his battles. that its not fair that my past was brought up when he didnt even exist to me at the time of my party days. but yet, he had a real reason to bitch at his ex who really was walking around with them hanging out while she was dating him.

it seems to me he was still hung up on her, he seems to talk about her. he was really crushed when she saved up all her money, and dumped him. bought a half a million dollar house and left him in the dust. I recently lost my job, and am well... not well off.

so as I was telling him this was not fair for him to pick on a stupid subject of tits, when his ex was doing the real deal of havin em hang out, while she was dating him. all of a sudden he said, really loud. "this coming from the girl that had no job?! at least my ex is a millionaire".

 

he shut his mouth right after that.

I started to cry.

he made me feel because I lost my job that i'm poo on his shoe compared to her.

and then got mad at me like I provoked him to say that! and got uber pissed when I told him he needs to get his alcohol chatter straight.

 

he flipped out on me, told me I was a useless bitch and so on.

I have never seen this scary side of him.

yes. when he drinks, hes kinda stupid. but never ever in this type of way.

and it seemed to me, he had some loose lips on him missing her.

then tried to yell over top of me so I couldnt get a word in.

 

I feel like garbage.

I spent all day in bed. almost 4 years together, to hear how much better his ex STILL is to this day.

 

whats going on?

I havent heard from him today, and I dont want to.

but I'm so so hurt.

I've never been burnt like this before...

 

 

someone please help?

[TheSilentType]

How the hell does a 26 year old buy a half million dollar house?

 

Was she a stripper?

[pinkrazr]

I'm 26. shes 29 or something.

hes 32.

 

she went to university and whatnot, somehow made a ton of money and moved outta the country.

[TheSilentType]

Well its pretty disrespectful to compare you to an ex like your second class...

 

I would be pissed like hell

 

What does he do?

[pinkrazr]

hes a teacher.

makes a decent buck.

but to compare me to this girl. someone i or even HE will never be?

what the eff!

[curiousnycgirl]

I would be stunned and devastated. Frankly it would make me feel, very strongly, that he is still hung up on his ex. I'd walk away. I know that is going to be very hard - but he needs to treat you better, regardless of his level of sobriety.

[pinkrazr]

I still haven't heard from him.

 

what am I waiting for?

....its so hard to let go.

 

he was my best friend. I loved him so so much.

we put so much work in our relationship.

those words he said are just so painful.

[curiousnycgirl]

How can he be your best friend when he says things that make you feel so awful? Perhaps you are HIS best friend, and don't realize the huge inequities going on here.

 

I would NOT call him. I would wait for him to pick up the phone, and when he does advise him that he has wounded you deeply, and you question his committment to you and the relationship. I would further tell him that he hurtful words make it clear he is still hung up on his ex - and make you wonder what you are doing with him.

 

Then see what he says. I'm sure he'll say something like he was drunk and didn't mean it - but do you really believe that? I actually think the truth comes out when someone is drunk, because the inhibitions and filters are dropped.

 

Good luck to you and please take care of YOU!

[critter909]

First I want to tell you that I understand about the drunken a-hole syndrome. I'm trying to deal with a break-up with an alcoholic.

 

Let him stew in it. He's probably embarassed as hell. If he's not then he is an idiot. I'm not telling you that being drunk is an excuse, but people say and do a lot of ridiculous things when they are really drunk. I know I have, and have regretted it! Most of the time I don't know where the stuff came from that I said but I really felt like an idiot the next day, didn't mean any of it. Give him a chance to come to you and explain himself. His behavior is definetly unacceptable and deserves a MAJOR apology at the least. Then it's up to you how much you can and want to forgive. Seems like you definetly need to discuss this ex girlfriend...

[backto1]

I'm really surprised he hasn't called you embarrassed and apologizing profusely. If he doesn't have a history of doing that, I don't see why he hasn't stepped up and apologized. Usually this would be a forgivable single offense but damn, call the girl!

[quankanne]

mm mm mmm ... if he's not called back within a couple of days to apologize for being a jackass or to explain why he said what he did, maybe it's time to rethink your whole relationship. Because if you've been together this long, and you're still being held culpable for all the stupid shxt SHE'S done, maybe he just isn't capable of moving on in a healthy way. And you deserve better than to be a whipping boy for his relationship insecurities.

[pinkrazr]

he called me.

and I've decided I no longer want to have this happen anymore.

 

like alot of us, me included. we say some dumb things.

I talked to him about my feelings, and how badly it burnt me.

Instead of being truly sorry. in his words he said "I didnt mean to say that, It all came out wrong, and I wish I hadnt. but i'm sorry you took it that way".

 

I'm sorry you took it that way?

 

I told him its not up to him to decide if i should be upset or not. the fact is, he made me cry. and for him to say "i'm sorry your feeling that way" instead of "i'm sorry i said that to you". **** him.

 

he wasnt being a jerk about it. but it made me snap.

 

I told him we seem to have these awful arguments when we're drunk. when we are sober, we're completely different. we are a fantastic couple.

I'm not saying i'm innocent. I've shot my mouth off more than once myself drunk. but I actually said I was truly sorry.

 

I told him maybe we should take a break. and maybe stop drinking, because thats the factor thats hurting us.

 

he was really bothered. he said "well maybe I just wont drink as much, or just not around you".

 

I said to him "are you trying to compromise getting drunk and your relationship? because right now it seems that the beer is winning!".

 

he doesnt get drunk all the time, let me correct that. but when there is a party. he doesnt have a couple, he has too much.

 

I cant deal with it anymore. as soon as he tried to reason with me, that I'm not going to drink out of my choice, but hes still going to, away from me. it made me feel like this isnt the two of us working together anymore.

 

I've decided to take some time away from him. to do our own things for awhile. he wants to do the same. not see other people and whatever. but just have some time apart to reflect on what we both discussed.

 

I'm torn. this is really hard...