Fiance addicted to World of Warcraft

[Enema]

I can't tell if Nemo is being serious or not but I agree with him.

 

You shouldn't need to spend every second with him.

 

Your fiance's compromise of letting him play wow every second day sounds good... not having a life of your own is more destructive to this relationship than the warcraft.

 

Of course, I do have 5 level 70's of my own

[xpaperxcutx]

I can't tell if Nemo is being serious or not but I agree with him.

 

You shouldn't need to spend every second with him.

 

Your fiance's compromise of letting him play wow every second day sounds good... not having a life of your own is more destructive to this relationship than the warcraft.

 

Of course, I do have 5 level 70's of my own

 

:lmao::lmao:

 

Bad Enema you!!

[rproctor]

Im not really sure which responses are legit and which ones are not... But some of the responses here are just stupid. Really stupid.

 

Basically, your bf is confused about what satisfies him in real life and in his mind. If he comes home from work and plays continually until he goes to sleep, thats not good. If he repeats this patterns constantly, thats not good. If he would choose a video game over real life relationships, thats definitely not good. If he has been playing the game for a while that evening, and can not find the time to turn it off and give you attention, thats not good.

 

Now, there is nothing wrong with playing video games, but when it becomes excessive it becomes a problem... Has he ever skipped work to play the game, ditched you to play the game? Friend, family, etc?

 

Trust me, video games CAN ruin people. I know this from experience... True story: At about age 17 I showed this game to my best friend at the time, a little dinky computer game that looked like an 8bit space invaders... It was really stupid game... He slept at my house that night and I remember waking up at like 4am and he was still playing it... So, he went home the next day downloaded it and he played it, religiously, for the next 10 years.

 

He has dropped out of school, lost his job, lives with his parents, has not had a relationship with any women, now has a serious drug addiction to heroin, alcohol, and pain pills, cant mantain a job, has no education, and basically going no where.

 

Now granted I seriously doubt that the game did that too him, but he went missing for about 2 years while he sat in his room and played that game... Seriously, we would go over there to get him with a car load of chicks and he would not answer the door because he would rather play a computer game than be in real life... Its sad.

 

If I were you, I would sabbotage his account. Like login to his account and destroy all his **** and stuff, maybe that would get him to quit. I dont know, I am not really sure what to say to get him to stop... But he needs to. I think that once he realized that the game was so unimportant in the real scope of life, he might lay off it a little big and play like a day a week or something...

 

I dont know, but I do know that games can be addictive and destructive to relationships, rather with friends, girlfriends, families, or jobs. Its all very real.

[Enema]

If I were you, I would sabbotage his account. Like login to his account and destroy all his **** and stuff, maybe that would get him to quit.

 

If he really is *addicted* to wow, then this is probably the fastest way to make yourself single.

[xpaperxcutx]

If he really is *addicted* to wow, then this is probably the fastest way to make yourself single.

Better to be single than to be addicted to a guy who's addicted to wow.

[Nemo]

If he really is *addicted* to wow, then this is probably the fastest way to make yourself single.

Agreed. That will do about as much good as flicking his love spuds with a wet towel.

[Chinook]

I think there are two issues here.

 

The first is that there is a mismatch of your expectations of the relationship, versus his expectations of the relationship. You seem to want to spend an awful lot of time with him, when he's agreed to every other day with you... which to be fair, is pretty compromising and level-headed.

 

The second issue is not that he's playing the game, but why he plays it. I play wow and I have 5-6 characters (not yet at lvl 70 though). I play wow for some very specific reasons. Whilst playing, I don't have to think. Whilst playing, I don't have to talk to anyone. Meanwhile the game gives me something constructive to do with my time. Contrary to what alot of people think, there is quite a lot of skill involved in developing a very highly trained character in several skills.

 

But that doesn't answer my question...?! The question is why back away from life in such a way and retreat to the game...? Is it because of true addiction (mine isn't) or is it because of escaping things around him that he doesn't want to deal with..?! He said he would choose wow over you and to be honest, I can see WHY he said it... it doesn't make it right. But to be fair, it doesn't make it right that you put him in the position of answering the question. There are two sides to this and he might think you're whining unnecessarily - afterall, its not like he's out getting laid with other girls or watching porn...right..?! Do you see what I mean..?! He has his space and interest, I think you need yours.

[xxmeganxx]

Now, there is nothing wrong with playing video games, but when it becomes excessive it becomes a problem... Has he ever skipped work to play the game, ditched you to play the game? Friend, family, etc? quote]

 

No, he has never ditched me or skipped work to play the game.

[JP77]

Try giving him oral when he is playing, you can kill two birds with one stone that way.

[Adamagnet]

The second issue is not that he's playing the game, but why he plays it. I play wow and I have 5-6 characters (not yet at lvl 70 though). I play wow for some very specific reasons. Whilst playing, I don't have to think. Whilst playing, I don't have to talk to anyone. Meanwhile the game gives me something constructive to do with my time. Contrary to what alot of people think, there is quite a lot of skill involved in developing a very highly trained character in several skills.

 

Explain to me how playing WoW is constructive? Is the skill of developing toons something that will benefit you later in life?

[Enema]

Is the skill of developing toons something that will benefit you later in life?

 

Definitely.

 

Universe of Starcraft will come out one day

[Chinook]

Explain to me how playing WoW is constructive? Is the skill of developing toons something that will benefit you later in life?

Actually, not that it's any of your business but let's see, in the last 6 years...

 

I have been diagnosed with an aggressive cancer,

Have to endure grossly traumatic chemotherapy and radiotherapy

Lost my partner who I spent 10 years with because we both dealt with it badly,

Lost a much-wanted-baby in the ensuing aftermath

Got into a new relationship with someone I trusted for the first time in four years and have him dump me because he was cheating on me

 

So pretty much when I say WOW and levelling toons is constructive... I'd pretty much say it stopped me putting alcohol to my lips, a bullet or pills in my head. Everyone has their reason for escaping... I had mine and I knew fully what they were.

 

The only problem here with the OPs partner, either he doesn't know what they are, or he doesn't want HER to know what they are.

 

I trust that answers your question. Avoiding life, considering what it has already thrown at me at the 'young' age of 38 is kinda understandable. What it may hold 'in later life' I really have no idea, if what has already passed is anything to go by, I'd rather stick with wow to be honest.

[I Luv the Chariot OH]

Well let's see: he's 22, and you've been together just barely a year? I say just leave him be. You're lucky he even wants to see you every other day.

 

I think It's harder for the older people on this forum to really understand the allure of online games. Sure, they are a huge waste of time and deterioration of a social life, and usually people end up feeling terrible about themselves after playing for a long time--but in a lot of cases, it's not just a "phase", it IS a legitimate addiction. I know a frightening number of people who have been playing since it was released, and are still as obsessed with it four years later.

 

OP, have you considered that a lot of people who play WoW end up "internet dating" people they meet in-game, who have the same obsessive interest with it that they do?

[xpaperxcutx]

Well let's see: he's 22, and you've been together just barely a year? I say just leave him be. You're lucky he even wants to see you every other day.

 

I think It's harder for the older people on this forum to really understand the allure of online games. Sure, they are a huge waste of time and deterioration of a social life, and usually people end up feeling terrible about themselves after playing for a long time--but in a lot of cases, it's not just a "phase", it IS a legitimate addiction. I know a frightening number of people who have been playing since it was released, and are still as obsessed with it four years later.

 

OP, have you considered that a lot of people who play WoW end up "internet dating" people they meet in-game, who have the same obsessive interest with it that they do?

Yeah and they get internet married too. God what the heck is the world coming to?

[v33]

In my opinion his spending all night, every night playing a video game, or reading or whatever is a serious problem as far as the relationship is concerned. Especially since you said you two are only a few months in.

 

If he is saying it's his escape from life there is something making this guy seriously unhappy that he is not telling you about.

 

You don't need to spend every waking minute with your partner/spouse but the person you love and presumably want to spend the rest of your life with and grow together and nurture each other, etc, etc deserves more daily attention than an online game does.

 

I've seen online games, esp, WOW ruin marriages. And it looks like this guy is going to get a wake-up call eventually. You neglect your girlfriend each night for a video game and you are going to find yourself single eventually.

 

But he is only going to hear you voicing your concerns as nagging. The guy is medicating himself with this game. If you want his attention you are going to have to leave him and make it real. If you just complain about his gaming he will simply play more and more to escape.

[loveinlife]

Hi. My fiance and I have been together for a little over a year. A few months ago, he started playing World of Warcraft (an online game). He had cancelled his account when we first started dating because he wanted to spend as much time as possible with me. Since he began playing it again, we have gradually grown apart. We do not talk like we used to or even cuddle and watch tv together. He insists on playing as soon as he gets home from work (at about 6pm) until he goes to bed at 11:30ish. He says he plays the game to "escape life". I have told him how I feel about this but he thinks I am just trying to start an argument and that the fact that I think it is driving us apart is "bull****". In our latest argument about this yesterday, I asked if he would pick WOW or me if it came down to that. He said he would pick World of Warcraft but only because that would be a very selfish thing to ask on my part, not because he loves the game more than me. He has made it clear that he WILL NOT stop playing the game because of me. I love this man with all my heart and I desperately want this relationship to work out, but I am really confused about what to do. Please help!

 

Hi Megan, I am an ex WOW player. Played it for almost 2 years. I started after i broke up with my first love and 2nd ex because i couldn't face reality. It was to me an escape for the world i am living in. I wasn't happy with my love life and at the point it was all life was meant to me. My ex wanted to get back with me and spend time together but i insisted on the game and told her i was busy and had to go... I regret it before, deeply. I was in a world of depression after i realized that she was gone after my avoidance and met someone else... came back later and it ended after her life changed 180 when her family died...sigh o well, its the past and what can i do...

 

I finally met my new date and stopped the game. I am happy that i met her. I took my new concentration on life and what i need to do to take care of RL(this is what wow users say, mean real life). if you want relate to him right now, try using that word, he'll understand what you mean by RL.

 

I hope he refocuses his attention on you and find out what he needs to do to make you happy. good luck =)

[D-Lish]

I had an ex that was addicted to call to duty4...

He became so obsessed, he started staying up all night, missing work, lost his job...stopped leaving his house. He lost me too... but i think it was a while before he emerged from his basement and realized I was gone.

[Nemo]

I had an ex that was addicted to call to duty4...

He became so obsessed, he started staying up all night, missing work, lost his job...stopped leaving his house. He lost me too... but i think it was a while before he emerged from his basement and realized I was gone.

You can't just "switch" a war off, or hit pause, whenever you feel like a break. Sheesh! It ain't over 'till it's over.

[rainfall]

I can't tell if Nemo is being serious or not but I agree with him.

 

You shouldn't need to spend every second with him.

 

Your fiance's compromise of letting him play wow every second day sounds good... not having a life of your own is more destructive to this relationship than the warcraft.

 

Of course, I do have 5 level 70's of my own

 

 

I actually agree with you for once. That kinda scares me.

You do however have one more level 70 then me.

 

 

To the OP if he wants to play wow every other day to relax then you should let him. If he was wanting to spend every other day playing a sport would you have a problem with it? Is it just because its wow that you have a problem with it?

[xxmeganxx]

If he was wanting to spend every other day playing a sport would you have a problem with it? Is it just because its wow that you have a problem with it?

 

Good point, but I really don't think it is just because its WOW.

 

We have decided to try seeing each other every other day, allowing him to play 3-4 days a week. We'll see how it works out...

[vedderbetter]

I don't understand the whole action/role playing scene. It's a video game. It's not real, it's just mindless escapism. I think it actually stunts social skills of younger players because they only practice effective interaction with "people" through a keyboard and computer screen, not in actual social settings.

 

The real world is so varied, vast and interesting, I guess I don't see how pretending you're a swordbearing dwarf with magick powers and a funny hat could be half as cool and fulfilling as say, hiking through the Grand Canyon, boating down the Amazon, seeing Shakespeare's Hamlet at the Royal London Theatre, riding a camel by the pyramids, or even strolling through your neighborhood park with some good friends. Seems like WoWers are largely detached from the real joys of the human experience.

 

I'd move on and look to date someone who more closely shares your interests and values.

[ChefDan.g/vo]

I don't understand the whole action/role playing scene. It's a video game. It's not real, it's just mindless escapism. I think it actually stunts social skills of younger players because they only practice effective interaction with "people" through a keyboard and computer screen, not in actual social settings.

 

The real world is so varied, vast and interesting, I guess I don't see how pretending you're a swordbearing dwarf with magick powers and a funny hat could be half as cool and fulfilling as say, hiking through the Grand Canyon, boating down the Amazon, seeing Shakespeare's Hamlet at the Royal London Theatre, riding a camel by the pyramids, or even strolling through your neighborhood park with some good friends. Seems like WoWers are largely detached from the real joys of the human experience.

 

I'd move on and look to date someone who more closely shares your interests and values.

 

if you've never been addicted to an MMO you probably wouldnt understand. I agree with you completely, but I have been addicted to an MMO before and the reason was that in the middle of suburbia, when you dont have very outgoing friends and are not very outgoing or sociable yourself. It's kind of hard to see what is so grand about being alive. It's also alot easier to walk down to the store, shell out 50 bucks for a video game than to plan a @#%^ing boat trip down the amazon. Unfortunatly we tend to see our life as it is, not as how it could be, when you work 9-5 in a cubicle all those amazing experiences get put on the shelf under, "someday when I have the money".

 

The only advice I can give to the OP is to try and go out more, do some exciting things with him. If he's like me he might be addicted to the prospects of adventure in the game. Imagining being a "swordbearing dwarf" is alot more fun than data entry. And everyone wants a good adventure.

 

For me it took a road trip where I got to go out and see the american southwest with two of my buds. two weeks of living out of a car and cruising around in the sunny weather, sleeping on beaches and at truck stops, almost dieing in a rain storm, racing people on desert highways, stopping for the smallest thing that perks our interest, and meeting countless amazing people, made me less motivated to drown my adveturousness in video games.

 

I'm not saying drop everything and take him on a road trip I'm just saying, try to remind him that life is exciting too.

[Crazy.S]

Wait until Diablo 3 comes out this fall. Lol.

 

Simply, if this is who you fell in loved with, stick with him. And try to show him that there's more to life than a silly game.

 

If he's not, don't waste your time. Find someone else who can give you what you want.

[Storyrider]

I don't understand the whole action/role playing scene. It's a video game. It's not real, it's just mindless escapism. I think it actually stunts social skills of younger players because they only practice effective interaction with "people" through a keyboard and computer screen, not in actual social settings.

 

The real world is so varied, vast and interesting, I guess I don't see how pretending you're a swordbearing dwarf with magick powers and a funny hat could be half as cool and fulfilling as say, hiking through the Grand Canyon, boating down the Amazon, seeing Shakespeare's Hamlet at the Royal London Theatre, riding a camel by the pyramids, or even strolling through your neighborhood park with some good friends. Seems like WoWers are largely detached from the real joys of the human experience.

 

I'd move on and look to date someone who more closely shares your interests and values.

I don't play any video games, but it is obvious that fighting against the forces of evil with the Universe hanging in the balance is more exciting than getting on a tour bus and going to a bunch of museums and churches.

 

Tourism is a spectator sport. And when you go hiking, etc. you can't get off the path, can't feed the animals, can't even legally pick up a rock and put it in your pocket.

[Make-A-Difference]

As one that plays WOW.... I see how he is feeling.. it can be very additive.. Most people don't actually understand that is not just a game but a good form of socializing.

I could could suggest that you try it out for a bit... it may even bring you closer.

 

I would say that by constantly bringing it up with him you will drive him further away.

 

If you really not keen on playing I would suggest not banning him but come to a compromise and arrange time for his game.

 

Sorry more couldn't be done.