hi_baby039 Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 Hello LSers... Me and my ex boyfriend (he was my first boyfriend) were together for almost 2 years... a year and 11 months. It was all very magical when we frist met. Movie like. I was hurting for some unrequited love, so was he, suddenly I go to this concert, run into my good friend Dean and say hi, chat with him for a couple of minutes and say hi to all his other friends. Then the next day my now ex adds me to MSN (turns out I really caught his eye when I had gone to say hi to Dean). We start talking and we click instantly. I suddenly start feeling that this guy may be a one of a kind, the one I had been waiting for through my teenage years. A few months passed and we became friends, I got over the unrequited crush I had and my now ex starts getting closer and flirtier until then we hook up, and we are realy happy and everything is literally perfect and we just "complete" each other... THE END. But then what happened after 6 months? Well from the beginning my now ex had warned me of his jealousy. So after some 6 months had passed we go to another concert with Dean and I take a pic where Dean is alone, and my ex bursts into a jealous attack. He asks me straight out in an accusatory tone: "Did you have something with Dean in the past?". I knew talking about the past doomed relationships, especially those with jealous partners, and ESPECIALLY when it involved people you knew. So I lied... But he was not convinced and asked again. So I told him that yes, in the past Dean and I had a short lived friendship with benefits. That was it. He totally changed and started becoming fixated with my past, details and all, and name calling me. Of course, it was also because I lied. He judged me very harshly on the past. And asked and asked questions about it. There were some more things I hid, he really didn't react well to the truth. But eventually came clean all the time, because he always told me to be honest, that he'd love me no matter what. But when I came the truth, he'd be anything but loving! I'm not saying it was ok to lie, but I was just very scared because I loved (and still do) love him loads... Of course I stopped talking to every guy from the past. Well, my past... the worst three things I did were that once I gave oral sex to Dean (he didn't ejaculate though), and made out with two strangers on girls nights out. The others were just me obsesisvely chasing crushes, and a guy that forced a kiss on me. But I lost my virginity to my ex. His past... well, he never was with any strangers, and he always had sort of serious relationships. He wasn't a virgin, he lost it to his first girlfriend (and she lost hers to him), but she cheated on him with his best friend. So well, all of this had cause problems and several break ups... lately though the name calling had ceased a bit, and we were arguing less. But yesterday I asked about some friends he hasn't seen for a while (because they also know Dean) and he went mental. He broke up with me again. Today he's been calling me and emailing me compulsively just to tell me that I never loved him, that I was so disrespectful because I fooled him for so long, talking to Dean when he thought that Dean was only friends with me but I was hiding the truth, that I was selfish and that I only cared about myself... that I lied for so long, that he just can't take that I was such a bad woman, that he never though I'd be like this, etc... in short making me feel awful about myself, and playing victim. But last night he said he was going back to pursuing his former crush, because she's better than me in so many ways (and well she's been flirting with him since we started dating!). So I don't see why he keeps trying to make me feel awful if clearly I'm already hurt. I put up with his name calling, hard judging and even lying himself... He says I never made any sacrifices for him, but I did! And he claims I don't love him, but I do, and I wish I never said anything about his friends... All I want is to sleep in his arms again... What do I do? He believes I'm this cold hearted b!tch that dated him ONLY to make a fool out of himself for my own pleasure... Not true! I do reckon I messed up by lying, but I didn't want my past to spoil the present. How was I supposed to know when I was with Dean that two years later I'd be falling in love with a friend of his? I'm absolutely heart broken!
LakesideDream Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 Teen Agnst, aint it sweet? Find some new friends. This circle you are in now is way to drama friendly.
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