porter218 Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 I've the the thread over and over. I have to keep reading it. IM jsut hurt because he said somethings to me like the fact that he will not leave me because of this. ( This was after the incident) NOw I feel like hes pimped slapped me in the face. And IM feeling the Sting in my face. It kills. It kills a lot I do't know how I'm going to wake up in the morning. I know I wont be happy thats for sure but i have to muster what ever courage I have left and be like an old tree. Stand still and dont be pushed around. Gosh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I really thought this person was the one for me and my heart. Then he goes and breaks it twice now. Wow. What a life. It sucks. Well I'm here feeling sorry for my self which isnt a happy feeling. I still wonder.................................................... Doesnt he have a heart. Don't start lying to yourself, you know very well that it was more then twice that he has actually broke your heart. Think about all the times you found out about him cheating on you. I know you may be trying to convince yourself that because you didn't catch him in the act that maybe he wasn't cheating. But I promise you, and you know , that he was a habitual cheater. Whenever you start to miss him just remember all the bad stuff he has done. You have a much brighter future now with him gone. Be happy for yourself.
Author littletoes Posted July 15, 2008 Author Posted July 15, 2008 Don't start lying to yourself, you know very well that it was more then twice that he has actually broke your heart. Think about all the times you found out about him cheating on you. I know you may be trying to convince yourself that because you didn't catch him in the act that maybe he wasn't cheating. But I promise you, and you know , that he was a habitual cheater. Whenever you start to miss him just remember all the bad stuff he has done. You have a much brighter future now with him gone. Be happy for yourself. I'm trying to remember the bad stuff then the good stuff comes. Like the way he would show me his affection and the way he would kiss me. B 4 he left he kissed me and told me how much he loves me and now its just a painfull memory. The second time around is much more harder for me than ever. Still no petty little email or even a call 2 say hello. I would'nt be surprized if he found some one new. Or maybe hes back with that ex I dont know. Any ways I feeling really really bluey
InLimbo2 Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 It's like a drunk that's stopped - take it one minute at a time, then one hour at a time, then one day at a time - and one day you'll wake up and he won't be the first thing on your mind. It takes time - and you are looking at the 'whole future' and being overwhelmed. Take it in smaller chunks - seconds, minutes, hours....and with each passing one you will get stronger and his 'pull' will be less and less. All the mementos you talked about. Don't burn them -you aren't strong enough right now. Box up everything that reminds you of him - seal the box - give it to your mother to hold. Someday you'll either be able to look at them without it tearing your heart out, or you will just take it and toss it. But not today, and not next week. Now, a little secret. You don't want him to call because you 'need closure' - you want him to call or email because what you want in your deepest heart is for him to make up another lame excuse, rationalize everything, and get back together. Shhhh - no protests - no need to save face here. Given his prior history, he may just do that. This is where the real test is - not only do you have to not call or email or txt him - you need to not accept any of his either. When you do that YOU are in control of yourself, your life, and your future - as you should have been all along. It's TOUGH - and I don't think you are strong enough to block his calls, change your number, or block his emails. Because you'll always be wondering if he's been trying to make contact - you'll make all sort of excuses for him - he's confused, he's come to his senses and is trying to reach you - and if only you'd not blocked him true love would be yours. It's a fairy tale honey, it's what we do when we are devastated in order to protect ourselves. The key here is to keep NO CONTACT until you heal up some more. If it were true love - a month or two of no contact wouldn't kill it now would it? Screw his need for space - take the space YOU need to put YOUR earth back spinning on it's axis properly. Remember - one second at a time, then one minute at a time, one hour at a time......and looking forward to you posting that you've gone a whole day without thinking about him. I'm trying to remember the bad stuff then the good stuff comes. Like the way he would show me his affection and the way he would kiss me. B 4 he left he kissed me and told me how much he loves me and now its just a painfull memory. The second time around is much more harder for me than ever. Still no petty little email or even a call 2 say hello. I would'nt be surprized if he found some one new. Or maybe hes back with that ex I dont know. Any ways I feeling really really bluey
Author littletoes Posted July 15, 2008 Author Posted July 15, 2008 Ive been crying all nite at home and now I feel so bad. I feel like I can't eat. When I try to eat I feel sick to my tummy. MY body is reacting th the emotions and i'm not feeling too good. Well I'm here. Ive read all the posts guys thanks for keeping me in line I need this motivation during this hard time I'm dealing with. Thanks
luvmy2ns Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 Hey there. I Know I have to keep thinking positive. Any how could someone just hint instead of telling me straight up that it's over. Thats whats bugging me right now. I keep thinking about that. The 1st time he broke up with me it was different he told me that he had a change of heart and thats that. Just tell me I want to hear it from him I know it sounds crazy. But I need 2 hear it. Should I send him an email and asking him if it's over or whats should I freaking do. I keep playing in my head that hes confused. What the hell now. I feel bad and I cant focus. I just need him to tell me and I can move on Why do you need him to tell you that it's over?! YOU tell HIM it's over! As for the affection, you will find that with a guy who won't let his mother stomp all over you.
Author littletoes Posted July 15, 2008 Author Posted July 15, 2008 Low self esteem this is what I call this. I have been sad all day. I cant stop thinking about anything but him. I still have yet 2 call him yet I continue to wonder what hes up too and if he thinks about about me. I know it's dangerous. I'll be ok I've been in more than a few relationships in my life and funny you know what i've never been alone and being alone is really scary for me. I continue to blame myslef for this pitfall and I dont know whay Im doing it maybe he didnt hang the phone and and he heard me swear and he doesnt want to talk to me again. Thats what my stupid brain is doing to me. It's playing dirty little wicked tricks on me maybe I'm going nuts or something.
Author littletoes Posted July 17, 2008 Author Posted July 17, 2008 Hey guy's I'm doing great today, I have many days of ups and downs and I'm taking it one day at a time. I'll keep u guys posted
luvmy2ns Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 Good morning hon. Your last post spoke volumes! You need to be alone and find out it's not so bad! In fact, when I spent over a year NOT in a relationship but playing the field, I had a blast! You need to make some friends who you can go out with. Don't fall for the first guy. Date several. Make sure everyone knows the deal, though. Don't let any of them believe they are the only guy in your life. You want to feel okay about what you're doing. And HAVE FUN! You get to play by YOUR rules now!!
trubella Posted July 17, 2008 Posted July 17, 2008 Hey guy's I'm doing great today, I have many days of ups and downs and I'm taking it one day at a time. I'll keep u guys posted glad things are getting better.
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