littletoes Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 hey guy's well im off of my monthly friends. I'm back home at I feel like crap. MY emotions are like a roller coaster. Gosh why do I have soo much anger inside me???????????? I'm pretty pissed off about the whole situation. I felt like calling him and my cousin stopped me. She told me to get back online and read that article. so each time I call him its like smacking my privates with a spiked sexxie pair of boots. ( I'm trying to make myself feel better. Trust me. I've had the most craziest week ever. talk about a bad week. I'm very moody. I called my girlfriend in australlia. She just told me that her husband has cheated on her. And she has 3 kids with this jerk. Well at least she has the kangaroos rite. she laughed when I told her that things in life I guess happen for a reason maybe it's fate. Maybe the big man upstairs has someone better for me. God knows. One thing. I will rmemevber from this is if my man dont have my back he never will. Just horrible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I Loved everyone. Sorry this is the feeling sorry for my self part. Do thses feeling of self pitty go away???????????????????
whichwayisup Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 Keep venting, write him letters, emails BUT DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT send them. Writing is theraputic for you and a way for you to get this stuff out of you. Hang in there and just take this day by day.
Author littletoes Posted July 14, 2008 Author Posted July 14, 2008 Hey which was is up. Thanks for the tips. I read the whole thread of NO Foolin. Very educational. I must say that not calling your ex is wonderful . This worked for me when this guy broke up with me the first time. I called him like crazy and left him pleading pathetic messages to call me back which he would not. then finally one day he answerd and told me he had a change of heart. After he told me that I was crushed I felt like I could'nt breath from someone who neces said that they wanted me to become their wife. After about 2 weeks of calling and asking him to take me back and telling him that he was making a mistake he called me a month later. we got back together and I made the changes he asked of me. Now I feel like hes placed a baseball bat with spikes in my heart because I believed that he wouldnt do such a thing again to me. and I must really look like a naieve fool. I must be honest I still do think about him and I still do feel like I'm left in the adrk with no closure. Thats what I want is closure. Call me and tell me thats its over. Thats all I want. I am not calling him anymore. Ive stopped and I really feel confused my self.
xpaperxcutx Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 Hey which was is up. Thanks for the tips. I read the whole thread of NO Foolin. Very educational. I must say that not calling your ex is wonderful . This worked for me when this guy broke up with me the first time. I called him like crazy and left him pleading pathetic messages to call me back which he would not. then finally one day he answerd and told me he had a change of heart. After he told me that I was crushed I felt like I could'nt breath from someone who neces said that they wanted me to become their wife. After about 2 weeks of calling and asking him to take me back and telling him that he was making a mistake he called me a month later. we got back together and I made the changes he asked of me. Now I feel like hes placed a baseball bat with spikes in my heart because I believed that he wouldnt do such a thing again to me. and I must really look like a naieve fool. I must be honest I still do think about him and I still do feel like I'm left in the adrk with no closure. Thats what I want is closure. Call me and tell me thats its over. Thats all I want. I am not calling him anymore. Ive stopped and I really feel confused my self. Be glad you broke up with him. He's a selfish bastard.
trubella Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 Be glad you broke up with him. He's a selfish bastard. she never broke up with him. hes done it twice. but technically he never said "its over" the 2nd time, he just ignored her.. what a coward.
xpaperxcutx Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 she never broke up with him. hes done it twice. but technically he never said "its over" the 2nd time, he just ignored her.. what a coward. holy ****... the guy must be missing some balls then.
Author littletoes Posted July 14, 2008 Author Posted July 14, 2008 Hey true. Yes I know he keeps ignoring me. He still hasnt even e mailed me to say it's over or anything to that extent. He's hinted a bit in the last post remember but hes not man enough to cough it out and I think he should to at least give me some closure if u don't want me tell me. I've stoped calling him. I havent texted or emailed him. I Know everyone is telling me to give him some space and leave him alone. I told evryone whats going on How can I move on when I cant hear those words from his mouth. It's over. I just want him to talk to me. Tell me like it is. Hey tue u know whats wierd for some reason my brain and I convinces my self the reasonw why hes not ansering his phne is because he heard me swear when he hung up. Call me Fing crazy. Ive convineced my self that oh hes not calling me because the other day when he hung up on me he heard me get mad and swear and this is why hes not calling me. How blantly pathetic am I. Please. I'm the biggest looser and he still has yet to call.
xpaperxcutx Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 Hey true. Yes I know he keeps ignoring me. He still hasnt even e mailed me to say it's over or anything to that extent. He's hinted a bit in the last post remember but hes not man enough to cough it out and I think he should to at least give me some closure if u don't want me tell me. I've stoped calling him. I havent texted or emailed him. I Know everyone is telling me to give him some space and leave him alone. I told evryone whats going on How can I move on when I cant hear those words from his mouth. It's over. I just want him to talk to me. Tell me like it is. Hey tue u know whats wierd for some reason my brain and I convinces my self the reasonw why hes not ansering his phne is because he heard me swear when he hung up. Call me Fing crazy. Ive convineced my self that oh hes not calling me because the other day when he hung up on me he heard me get mad and swear and this is why hes not calling me. How blantly pathetic am I. Please. I'm the biggest looser and he still has yet to call. Get a voodoo and start stabbing it to death... I find that relieves anger:D Pathetic that he's running away. Be glad that you haven't become his baby momma or anything like that. Because it'll be a bitch calling him for money support, if you can't reach him.. The guy is scum... and honestly not worth another call.
Author littletoes Posted July 14, 2008 Author Posted July 14, 2008 I got back from my little mini trip from my hoildays and I felt good about my self. Now I cant stop thinking about him. I know its normal its part of the letting go process. Screws Im on here so I wont call. I havent called 2 days now. WOOO brownie points for me. I have all of his pictures of us old B-day cards. All of that stuff. It's heartache. I hate this feeling. I freaked out on my poor parents a few moments ago and they keep telling me dont think about him get out of ure roon go outside get away. MY Mom said when u get back to your normal routine ure mind will be occupied with other duties, Ure bored and u want to hear his voice. But u have to be strong. Look at the bad things and what hes done. She said leave him be.
Author littletoes Posted July 14, 2008 Author Posted July 14, 2008 I have'nt called him thank god. Ive been on here trying to write as much as I can to get him out of my mind.
porter218 Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 Do you have any close friends that live far away? If you do now is the best time to go visit them. Get some distance between you guys and catch up with old friends. Another thing I do when going through something of this nature is to get an ambitious remodeling plan . Or start working on an outrageous garden. Something that I find to be both fun and time consuming.
Author littletoes Posted July 14, 2008 Author Posted July 14, 2008 I'm thinking of repainting the bathroom 2 morrow..... My friends live in Europe and Down under. SO I cant visit them. So that part really blows.
porter218 Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 I'm thinking of repainting the bathroom 2 morrow..... My friends live in Europe and Down under. SO I cant visit them. So that part really blows. Why can't you visit them? I went to LA to visit one friend(I live on the east coast) and then Poland to visit another after my break up from my husband. I felt like the further the better.
Author littletoes Posted July 14, 2008 Author Posted July 14, 2008 I have no more vacation time left from work. This is why I cant visit them. It sucks. Talk about bad luck.
Author littletoes Posted July 14, 2008 Author Posted July 14, 2008 I still feel like crap. Today is one of the worse days. Gosh how do I get a grip and move on. I'm trying to keep busy and I can't. I was suppose to do a massive paint job project and I can't pull my self together. I feel so helpless and im hearts aching. I think the moving on process has hit and I feel so blue.
porter218 Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 Go to a gym and work out some of those frustrations in there. You will probably feel more refocused after a good workout.
porter218 Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 There was a really good suggestion someone gave you that you should follow. Go onto other peoples threads and put your 2cents in, this will help your healing process a lot.
Author littletoes Posted July 14, 2008 Author Posted July 14, 2008 Hey porter. Thanks for getting back too me. Well Ive been listening to music. Dance music trying to get my heart pumping. I've been dancing around the house. So I guess thats been some what active.////////////////////// Still no calls and I still have yest to cal him. Well I'm here.
luvmy2ns Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 Dancing? Now THAT is good therapy! Don't think about him calling. He's in the past. Make your future.
Author littletoes Posted July 14, 2008 Author Posted July 14, 2008 Hey Special k thanks for getting back too me. My moods go up and down like a yo yo.
luvmy2ns Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 My moods go up and down like a yo yo. That's gonna happen for awhile. You'll notice it happening less and less. Just keep keepin' on. Remember, work tomorrow. That will help "normalize" your life a little more.
Author littletoes Posted July 14, 2008 Author Posted July 14, 2008 Hey there. I Know I have to keep thinking positive. Any how could someone just hint instead of telling me straight up that it's over. Thats whats bugging me right now. I keep thinking about that. The 1st time he broke up with me it was different he told me that he had a change of heart and thats that. Just tell me I want to hear it from him I know it sounds crazy. But I need 2 hear it. Should I send him an email and asking him if it's over or whats should I freaking do. I keep playing in my head that hes confused. What the hell now. I feel bad and I cant focus. I just need him to tell me and I can move on
Ms. Red Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 Hun, I know it's hard. Think of it this way. There are many ways to communicate & verbal is just one of the many. To me, the biggest communication is "actions". (I believe I've told U that before) You don't need to hear it from him. His actions have clearly told you he has no regard for your feelings. And, if he should call & tell you he was confused & needed to think...blah blah blah...IGNORE HIM. You will feel such power & relief if you can do that. From what you have told us, you would never be respected by him in the long run. He all ready did this once to you & you went back to him after "you made the changes he wanted". YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE TO CHANGE FOR SOMEONE TO LOVE YOU!! If someone asks you to change before they will be with you. Well, then, they don't like YOU. YOU as you are naturally & without demands to change the real YOU. That just really pisses me off. So, since he has never showed you much respect in the past....why do you expect him to show it to you now when he is treating you like crap? Whatever is going through his mind now or any words he rattled off in the past should not concern you. Think about yourself now & protect your heart by not letting him even be able to pierce it one more time. If you don't contact him, (or answer if he calls) then he cannot even have a chance to pierce another shot of pain into your heart? Get it? Visit the NC thread again. You need it. Hang in there. Hugs. =^-^=
Author littletoes Posted July 14, 2008 Author Posted July 14, 2008 Hun, I know it's hard. Think of it this way. There are many ways to communicate & verbal is just one of the many. To me, the biggest communication is "actions". (I believe I've told U that before) You don't need to hear it from him. His actions have clearly told you he has no regard for your feelings. And, if he should call & tell you he was confused & needed to think...blah blah blah...IGNORE HIM. You will feel such power & relief if you can do that. From what you have told us, you would never be respected by him in the long run. He all ready did this once to you & you went back to him after "you made the changes he wanted". YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE TO CHANGE FOR SOMEONE TO LOVE YOU!! If someone asks you to change before they will be with you. Well, then, they don't like YOU. YOU as you are naturally & without demands to change the real YOU. That just really pisses me off. So, since he has never showed you much respect in the past....why do you expect him to show it to you now when he is treating you like crap? Whatever is going through his mind now or any words he rattled off in the past should not concern you. Think about yourself now & protect your heart by not letting him even be able to pierce it one more time. If you don't contact him, (or answer if he calls) then he cannot even have a chance to pierce another shot of pain into your heart? Get it? Visit the NC thread again. You need it. Hang in there. Hugs. =^-^= I've the the thread over and over. I have to keep reading it. IM jsut hurt because he said somethings to me like the fact that he will not leave me because of this. ( This was after the incident) NOw I feel like hes pimped slapped me in the face. And IM feeling the Sting in my face. It kills. It kills a lot I do't know how I'm going to wake up in the morning. I know I wont be happy thats for sure but i have to muster what ever courage I have left and be like an old tree. Stand still and dont be pushed around. Gosh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I really thought this person was the one for me and my heart. Then he goes and breaks it twice now. Wow. What a life. It sucks. Well I'm here feeling sorry for my self which isnt a happy feeling. I still wonder.................................................... Doesnt he have a heart.
Recommended Posts