colourithappy Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 I really want to call him. I've just sat here reading this email of his for the past three days feeling so much emotion. But just because I feel something, doesn't mean he does. God, even I'm getting fed up with myself for feeling the way I do.. I cant make someone feel something that they don't. Life is not that easy. My head just feels so ****ed.
JustinWolf Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 Don't. Ask yourself is it going to make you feel better? Is he going to come running back? If you did answer that it's going to make you feel better, call only when you know you are not expecting anything. You are emotional right now, it's normal... we've all gone through it. Just let time pass and trust me on this it will get easier. Stay strong. I know you can do it.
Author colourithappy Posted July 13, 2008 Author Posted July 13, 2008 Thank you. I didn't call. It won't achieve anything. I'd only kick myself at the end of it. God I just wish things were simple. But then, that'd be too easy (.edit.) - and I called, no answer - and I don't feel any better for it. I am such an idiot.
JustinWolf Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 Why did you call!? You say it won't achieve anything but yet you call... did you at least call in private? Did you expect anything when you called him? let me know. Don't worry about it, though. Plenty of times I said I wouldn't email her and I did. It's ok... we go through it. Learn from it!
tealeafbud Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 Thank you. I didn't call. It won't achieve anything. I'd only kick myself at the end of it. God I just wish things were simple. But then, that'd be too easy (.edit.) - and I called, no answer - and I don't feel any better for it. I am such an idiot. Hey coulour, we've all been there. Just try and learn from it. Try and not do it again whatever it takes. Try and feel happy about your decision not to contact him. Trust that it's the wrong decision to talk to him and try and move on from the relationship.
northstar1 Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 Thank you. I didn't call. It won't achieve anything. I'd only kick myself at the end of it. God I just wish things were simple. But then, that'd be too easy (.edit.) - and I called, no answer - and I don't feel any better for it. I am such an idiot. Don't beat yourself up for it - we've all cracked at some point. But you can learn from it. If you get the urge to call, write down your thoughts, or call a friend - vent to them.
Author colourithappy Posted July 14, 2008 Author Posted July 14, 2008 I don't really have a good enough reason for calling! I missed him, I wanted to speak. After keep reading his email, I planned not to reply. But then I obviously caved. I don't actually know what I hoped to achieve. I tell you what I don't like, my mental emotions when I go from extreme to the other. From fine, to distraught. Argh, what it's it playing at!! I'm embarrassed by my actions. Uno, I vent out in diary (helps ALOT) and I think I've pissed my friends off by talking TOO much about it. It ended properly in March. He's over it, why am I clearly not?
critter909 Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 Don't be hard on yourself. Like the other posters we all cave at some point. I have. Don't be embarassed, just try to stick to the NC. It gets easier, I never thought I'd say it but it does. I never thought I'd be able to stick to it but I can. Believe me, I'm not stronger than you when it comes to this, I've been a weeping baby for a month and all my friends are tired of hearing it too. I had some texts on my phone about how he loved me and needed time etc. I used to read over them every few days, this weekend I deleted them. Stay strong
Author colourithappy Posted July 14, 2008 Author Posted July 14, 2008 Thank you everyone that's replied to me. I do beat myself up about it, alot. It really really helps being on here, it's like I have nowhere else to turn. Everyone on here has their own experiences and actually know what you're going through. I was adamant I wouldn't contact him, and I did. Oh and for Justin, I didn't private call, I called from house landline because I changed my mobile number so I couldn't text/phone from that.. So I'm kinda trying!! I was on the mend, I truly think I was until he mentioned that someone else.. and it messed up worse than the beginning. How weird is that.. I will adjust to this I go to haven't I!
Author colourithappy Posted July 14, 2008 Author Posted July 14, 2008 ... I had some texts on my phone about how he loved me and needed time etc. I used to read over them every few days, this weekend I deleted them. Stay strong Well done critter for deleting those messages. Really helps huh? What's your story, if it's not already posted?
critter909 Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 It's posted somewhere. Really long story short, together almost 10 years, he became an alcoholic and left when I said he had to do something about it, said I was not fun, I was more like his mom etc. etc. Been broken up for a bit over a month. It didn't help to delete the texts. You are looking at it sort of the wrong way. It showed that I was ready to let go of that. Just like you keep reading your email, maybe next week, month whatever you can delete it too. You can't push this though, I don't know why I knew I could delete them, I just did, and I don't miss them or regret doing it. So I know I'm healing, a bit at a time.
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