lilmisscheerful Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 Is it normal to rarely meet people that you click with? There's this guy and he pushes all my buttons but he isn't interested in me except for 'fun'. (which I haven't offered BTW) Why's it always this way? I guess i just need to be a bit more proactive in approaching guys I like, as the few that show an interest in me I don't fancy.
xpaperxcutx Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 Most ppl are compatible but that doesn't necessarily mean that they end up together.
Author lilmisscheerful Posted July 13, 2008 Author Posted July 13, 2008 Most ppl are compatible but that doesn't necessarily mean that they end up together. It's just frustrating though. I don't want to be celibate forever. I'm still only in my 20s!
xpaperxcutx Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 It's just frustrating though. I don't want to be celibate forever. I'm still only in my 20s! lol nobody asked you to be, celibacy is a choice
JP77 Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 celibacy is a choice Not always as this site http://incelsite.com/ will demonstrate.
Author lilmisscheerful Posted July 13, 2008 Author Posted July 13, 2008 lol nobody asked you to be, celibacy is a choice Is it though? I've tried the friends with benefits thing before but realised that I'm not someone that can have sex without getting emotionally attached. So I guess I'm gonna be celibate until someone dateable comes along.
xpaperxcutx Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 Is it though? I've tried the friends with benefits thing before but realised that I'm not someone that can have sex without getting emotionally attached. So I guess I'm gonna be celibate until someone dateable comes along. I think you should read this http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=158134 And it's okay really. Women are prone to getting emotionally attached. Our bodies produces different chemical from men. Eventually you'll find the right guy.
JP77 Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 Eventually you'll find the right guy. That's a false dawn.
xpaperxcutx Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 That's a false dawn. Okay fine whats your best advice? All I'm saying is that she's still young and doesn't need to rush into having sex with just any guy.
JP77 Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 My best advice would be to become a INCEL Recluse. Forget about everyone else and become a narcissist who enjoys romanticism and self loathing.
Author lilmisscheerful Posted July 13, 2008 Author Posted July 13, 2008 My best advice would be to become a INCEL Recluse. Forget about everyone else and become a narcissist who enjoys romanticism and self loathing. sounds great lol
KinAZ Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 It COULD be a pattern in the guys you're attracted to. I've noticed patterns, even though the guys never seemed to be very much alike. It could be something about yourself that is attracting certain guys, and attracted to certain guys. It COULD be a matter of just really getting down to what you want, need, don't want, and don't need, and why... Having that understanding might not only change what you're attracted to, but also what you attract...
Author lilmisscheerful Posted July 13, 2008 Author Posted July 13, 2008 It COULD be a pattern in the guys you're attracted to. I've noticed patterns, even though the guys never seemed to be very much alike. It could be something about yourself that is attracting certain guys, and attracted to certain guys. It COULD be a matter of just really getting down to what you want, need, don't want, and don't need, and why... Having that understanding might not only change what you're attracted to, but also what you attract... Interesting. Could you give an example of a pattern?
KinAZ Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 Well, one pattern was relationships moving too quickly. A few times, I was claimed before I even knew I had a boyfriend. And another was... the best way I can put it, they seemed to have good heads on their shoulders, but when it came down to it, they didn't have clear enough goals. I've been attracted to a lot of guys who were transitioning from one thing to another. My theory was that it was my maternal instincts, and their need for nurturing which led to these situations. A strong man with a "sensitive side" and they just latched on, and I guess I went along with it because teddy bears are cute? I don't know... but it didn't last long before I had my doubts, and their insecurities started to drive me up the wall. It would start with passion and end the same way. I have friends who are not high maintenance who go for high maintenance people (often social climbers), yet these high maintenance people tend to go for other high maintenance people. So, while the two may be attracted to one another, in the long run, the pieces never fell into place (in those situations, at least).
stillafool Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 I think you should read this http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=158134 And it's okay really. Women are prone to getting emotionally attached. Our bodies produces different chemical from men. Eventually you'll find the right guy. I know people say that about us women. But in my experience men have been more emotional than me. Almost to the point where I couldn't stand to hear them speak anymore. I just can't stand too much emotion from anyone.
Author lilmisscheerful Posted July 14, 2008 Author Posted July 14, 2008 It COULD be a pattern in the guys you're attracted to. I've noticed patterns, even though the guys never seemed to be very much alike. It could be something about yourself that is attracting certain guys, and attracted to certain guys. It COULD be a matter of just really getting down to what you want, need, don't want, and don't need, and why... Having that understanding might not only change what you're attracted to, but also what you attract... I think I'm seen as a nurturer and am quite mentally strong so shy, awkward guys looking for support seem to show an interest. Thing is I'm so busy with work and my social life that I don't have the time to 'rescue' guys. I realised that I was too friendly towards them so I now just give them short shrift. I like men who are confident, outgoing, treat people with kindness and respect, and generally have their act together. I don't like people who smoke, do drugs, or are rude.
xpaperxcutx Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 I think I'm seen as a nurturer and am quite mentally strong so shy, awkward guys looking for support seem to show an interest. Thing is I'm so busy with work and my social life that I don't have the time to 'rescue' guys. I realised that I was too friendly towards them so I now just give them short shrift. I like men who are confident, outgoing, treat people with kindness and respect, and generally have their act together. I don't like people who smoke, do drugs, or are rude. So then what's wrong? Just stop saying yes to a shy, awkward guy asking around for a date. You're not there to babysit them or mother them. You're your own person, nothing wrong with saying "no". You're not entitled to making sure you don't hurt their feelings.
Author lilmisscheerful Posted July 14, 2008 Author Posted July 14, 2008 So then what's wrong? Just stop saying yes to a shy, awkward guy asking around for a date. You're not there to babysit them or mother them. You're your own person, nothing wrong with saying "no". You're not entitled to making sure you don't hurt their feelings. I'm fine turning these blokes down. I just hate it when other people get involved. For instance, there's this guy who works backstage at my amateur theatre (I perform in community shows). He never approached me but I kept hearing 'Jake thinks you're lovely'. Then one day this woman who's a bit of a mother hen to him asked if Jake had been in touch. 'He's obsessed with you' she said. She couldn't seem to understand why I wouldn't be interested in a socially awkward obsessive 38 year old!!
KinAZ Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 LOL, yeah, I don't have time to rescue or raise anyone either. I have my own children, and so I don't need to raise anyone else's. I don't like guys who do drugs either, so I understand that as well. But that might not be enough to answer it all, I guess. But we do seem to have that ummm "support" thing in common. With me though, it doesn't seem that way initially. I think I come off a lot nicer and sweeter than I actually am in the beginning. Not to say that it's all a facade, but there's just more to me than that. I'm nice and sweet and supportive, and I'll help where I can, BUT it's not all roses. You know? When he starts to go in circles, I tell him. When he starts to get out of hand etc, I tell him. And I think that's usually part of what has sent things down hill for them. They wanted the consideration of the mother without the ummm... backbone of a mother. ;-) LOL, it just doesn't work that way. For me, it went down hill once I realized that I had to tell grown men things that I didn't feel I should have to tell them. Anywho, what you like isn't always exactly the same as... what you go for. Rather, there may be certain qualities that you WANT in a man, but are those always all the qualities of the men you find yourself very interested in? It may not always be very easy to tell on the surface, but could there be anything else they have in common that attracts you?
xpaperxcutx Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 I'm fine turning these blokes down. I just hate it when other people get involved. For instance, there's this guy who works backstage at my amateur theatre (I perform in community shows). He never approached me but I kept hearing 'Jake thinks you're lovely'. Then one day this woman who's a bit of a mother hen to him asked if Jake had been in touch. 'He's obsessed with you' she said. She couldn't seem to understand why I wouldn't be interested in a socially awkward obsessive 38 year old!! Oh, wow some people are just nosy Don't mind them. Unless the guy actually approaches you himself instead of using other people as scapegoats, you're oblivious to him.
KinAZ Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 I'm fine turning these blokes down. I just hate it when other people get involved. For instance, there's this guy who works backstage at my amateur theatre (I perform in community shows). He never approached me but I kept hearing 'Jake thinks you're lovely'. Then one day this woman who's a bit of a mother hen to him asked if Jake had been in touch. 'He's obsessed with you' she said. She couldn't seem to understand why I wouldn't be interested in a socially awkward obsessive 38 year old!! WOW! That's so... grade school. It's weird that other adults would tell you that. If I were him I would be pretty embarrassed! Here I go with the zodiac again, but I've attracted a lot of Cancers and I'm usually not very interested in them. And I think we might have the same problem in that department, we seem nice and sweet (maybe it's the shyness or friendliness?), and therefore more approachable or suitable to certain types of guys? When I was younger, especially, I attracted a lot of guys who took my bubbly personality and friendliness to mean that I was abnormally naive or something. I have a friend who is currently working on being more "approachable," and she can at times give off a rather anti-social impression (by being anti-social, of course). Do you think that might have anything to do with it?
xpaperxcutx Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 WOW! That's so... grade school. It's weird that other adults would tell you that. If I were him I would be pretty embarrassed! Here I go with the zodiac again, but I've attracted a lot of Cancers and I'm usually not very interested in them. And I think we might have the same problem in that department, we seem nice and sweet (maybe it's the shyness or friendliness?), and therefore more approachable or suitable to certain types of guys? When I was younger, especially, I attracted a lot of guys who took my bubbly personality and friendliness to mean that I was abnormally naive or something. I have a friend who is currently working on being more "approachable," and she can at times give off a rather anti-social impression (by being anti-social, of course). Do you think that might have anything to do with it? I can't stand cancers, even though my sign is compatible with them. They're too needy and whiny and when they start crying on me, I just want to smack them across the face.
Author lilmisscheerful Posted July 14, 2008 Author Posted July 14, 2008 I'm a scorpio so you would expect there to be a bit of 'bite' under the sweetness and light. I am approachable lol. Just approachable to the wrong sorts!!
xpaperxcutx Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 I'm a scorpio so you would expect there to be a bit of 'bite' under the sweetness and light. I am approachable lol. Just approachable to the wrong sorts!! I'm scorpio too!!!
KinAZ Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 I can't stand cancers, even though my sign is compatible with them. They're too needy and whiny and when they start crying on me, I just want to smack them across the face. LOL, as nice as I am, I feel the same way. I wouldn't say that I want to smack them hahaha, but yeah, they pine like no other sign I've encountered.
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