bill1234 Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 My ex wife and I had a pretty amicable separation six months ago, and seem to have retained an amazing friendship*. When we split I started seeing someone else "too soon" and she went crazy on me, but then she got over it, and we forgave each other. She then confessed to me that she liked one of my friends. Over the past few weeks I have been coaching her into a first date, then how to let her intentions be known to him, to see if he likes her, and to get closer to him - and it's worked! Today he's taking her out for a second time and has already told her on the phone that he likes her. I'm delighted for them and my fingers are crossed. I'm not the perfect saint to say it doesn't hurt a little bit, and I'm scared that I'll lose her friendship if he finds it too uncomfortable for me to be in contact with her, but overall I'm really happy for her. Anyone else ever been this cool with an ex? *Sadly, it was the strength of this friendship that broke me and my girl up recently. I guess I get to feel noble or something.
Order & Chaos Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 We seperated 2 months ago and decided last week to file for divorce. Our marriage counselor said that we are in a very unique situation as things are very amicable and we seem to have a very good friendship (though disconnected as of late). We are hoping to have what you have stated but are very fearful when one of us starts dating. Can't really offer you much help but saying we seem to be going down a similar road as you guys. I have a lot of respect for my STBxH, I think he is a fabulous person, and I care a lot about him. We just aren't right for each other anymore.
Author bill1234 Posted July 13, 2008 Author Posted July 13, 2008 Yeah, that's how our rel. is. Like I said, it's not like her new romance doesn't hurt a little bit. But maybe it's because it's the second time we've split up, and it was only sad when we did, not devastating. She's been a rock to me since my recent relationship trauma, and I've been there for her when she's been insecure about whether my buddy likes her or not. I just need to work on the fear of losing her friendship and emotional support. We're BFF at the moment, but I know that will eventually change, and I need to be prepared. Good luck to you - if you can accept him moving on, then I hope it works for you, and you can provide him with support for any new person in his life, or vice versa.
Lizzie60 Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 Good for you... I have remained friend with all my ex.. (except one)... I am seeing my last 'ex' tomorrow.. for some 'heads up' on our lives... I haven't seen him for quite a while now... he wants to see my new apart...
LostHusband Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 You are fixing up your wife (you said you were separated, not divorced) with one of your friends?? To me that just seems REALLY awkward. You may think its fine now, but what if they get serious? What if you someday realize you love your wife? What is your wife going to say when someone asks them how she met him? "Oh my husband set it up!" WTF??
melodymatters Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 My ex H is my best friend ! He just got remarried, and i have a bf, and we talk on the phone nearly daily !
lala13 Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 my ex of 10 years and i are the best of friends now. we took a small 6 month break to gather ourselves after our separation, but once our hearts mended from our amicable, yet life changing breakup, we went back to doing what we've always done best - being friends. his girlfriend had a small problem with us at first, but once she and i met and she saw that he and i were nothing more than buddies, she opened up to me. hopefully, that will be the case with you two as well. my ex and i are very clear with anyone new that he and i will always be close, always be friends. we have yet to have a problem with that with anyone. i think being open from the start is key. good luck.
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