Love_Forest Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 Do you have a set of rules in dating? When do you call your date? when you feel like calling or you have to set to call him/her once week or twice...
saraispiel19 Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 Do you have a set of rules in dating? When do you call your date? when you feel like calling or you have to set to call him/her once week or twice... What is it with people and all these rules? Look if you like someone like them the way you want to. If you want to call them call them (if there's a voice inside you saying "no it's too late" or "it's too soon" best bet is that it rings true!), in the end you should be yourself not what some book or somebody tells you what to be. In the end if your date doesn't like you for you than chances are that she/he wasn't meant for you in the first place. If you follow these "rules" you end up with a different version of yourself that in the end does not mirror who you really are- who wants that? not you! Of course there is etiquette which everyone should have but simply they are guidelines in order to become a gentleman or a lady. Goodluck to ya!
cjanee Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 ]Do you have a set of rules in dating? When do you call your date? when you feel like calling or you have to set to call him/her once week or twice... I think there are rules for dating otherwise known as the game. Both men and women play the "game" and anyone who tells you otherwise is in denial! Even my parents in the frickin 60"s had their dance before finally marrying. To a certain extent its human nature to do the dance. It's all part of the fun and excitement. Today however, things have become quite confusing for both sexes. It used to be pretty cut and dry. Man leads, woman may or may not follow. Woman pretends she is not interested (even though she is) etc. Today if a guy opens a door for a girl he's lucky he doesn't get pushed into it. If a guy tries to pursue - a girl could switch it up fast becoming the pursuer and confusing the heck out of the guy. Anything goes today and thats what causes confusion. However there has been books written on this to try to simplify things. I think ultimately if one understands the differences between men and women as well as the similarities, relationships have a better chance of growing. One book is Men are from Mars Women from Venus, Why men love Bitches. Since reading those two books I have not been running around trying to prove how equal I am and frankly turning guys off. Those are my two cents worth.
Author Love_Forest Posted July 13, 2008 Author Posted July 13, 2008 The "rules" to show you are not needy or clingy. you have your own life...... and you want him/her into your life... and indeed to have etiquette in order to be a gentleman/ lady.
melodymatters Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 I like my men to call me daily. ! will probably call once for every 5 times he calls me.
saraispiel19 Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 The "rules" to show you are not needy or clingy. you have your own life...... and you want him/her into your life... and indeed to have etiquette in order to be a gentleman/ lady. If you have to ask yourself that question "am i being to clingy" usually it's because you are- after all ♫..your conscience is your guide♫ (pinocchio). Besides your partner is better off telling you anyways.
Trialbyfire Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 No, dating rules just get in the way. My preference is alphas who know what they want and aren't afraid to go get it, while being courteous and respectful.
melodymatters Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 No, dating rules just get in the way. My preference is alphas who know what they want and aren't afraid to go get it, while being courteous and respectful. Once again, you're singing my song, sister !!!!
KinAZ Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 Any general "rules" I apply depend on how well I hit it off with a guy. If we clicked, I don't worry about "rules". The only time I follow any sort of pattern or guidelines would be when I'm uncertain. In which case, I just sort of follow his lead. The guy who calls every day, there are no rules about when to call him etc. Other than that, I'll let them set the pace. I speak up if he's calling too much, or drop back if he's not calling enough. Like the once a week caller, I'd probably never call him unless he asked "why don't you ever call me?" lol There's the three call pact between myself and my friends. LOL, it's a no-no to break it. (Ideally, it should never get to three, but that's the max allowed.) Aside from "no club guys" it's probably the only dating "rule" that we stick to. Basically, you can't call more than three times without him calling you. If you do, delete the number. If you've called and left a message, and then some how found yourself calling again (or didn't hear back from him)... delete the number if you get no answer. It's a must. He COULD be busy (or you could be gaga), and you'll find that out when/if he calls back. It may sound silly, but there are times when two people hit it off, then all of a sudden the guy isn't calling as much, or what have you. Deleting the number is the best way to deal with that. The purpose isn't to play a game, but rather to make sure we never waste our time (or thoughts) on the ones who aren't equally interested.
Author Love_Forest Posted July 13, 2008 Author Posted July 13, 2008 If we clicked, he is making plans always for the next time, but he never called for the next time. but if i call him to set "the next time" he is always up for it.... My pace is to meet at least one time per week.....when I am in town, because my work implies traveling so some weeks I will be not in town.... is is here the shy problem?
KinAZ Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 It could be that, but it is hard to say. When you say that he is always up for it, do you mean that this is the only time you see him? Like, he'll suggest a date, but not follow through or make solid plans, but when you set a date you actually see him?
Shygirl15 Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 If we clicked, he is making plans always for the next time, but he never called for the next time. but if i call him to set "the next time" he is always up for it.... My pace is to meet at least one time per week.....when I am in town, because my work implies traveling so some weeks I will be not in town.... is is here the shy problem? Like someone( a male) said in one thread, women always have the upper hand in relationship and it's a shame we do not seem to realize that. I took this advice promptly and I'm now experiencing better days that ever. So really do not worry so much about the dating rules, just go with whatever you feel like. Feel free expressing yourself to him on whatever plans you have (such as seeing him at least once a week), or if you're dissapointment that he didn't call when he should.
kizik Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 The only real relationship is one in which the concept of "the upper hand" never comes into play. Mutual respect, admiration and care - that is love.
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