gummybear Posted July 13, 2008 Share Posted July 13, 2008 Met guy online (he was on the site for almost 3 months and was about to give up until he met me and I'm the first person he met from there), had a one-week exchange of some pretty awesome emails, met in person on Tuesday and things were fairly well, on Wed he asked me to a sports game in advance for July 19, then tonight we spent the ENTIRE day together (went to the zoo, had dinner, ice cream, etc) and then I met his grandma who he lives with. Throughout the entire day he really doesn't put his arm around me or touch me at all. He put his hand on my back for like 2 seconds once, but that was it. Anyway 10:30 at night I leave his place right after meeting his grandma and he walks me to my car and he hugs me kind of tightly for quite some time, and then we look at each other and I contemplate kissing him but wasn't sure if I wanted to yet so we just hug again pretty closely, then I start to step away but his arms are still holding onto me! It was like he won't let me go! I mean he wasn't aggressive at all but it was like he didn't want to let me go and we just looked at each other again smiling at each other and it was becoming awkward so I kissed him and we were kind of making out for just a few seconds but it felt like it was out of obligation (I know, it sounds bad) and then we hug AGAIN then I kiss him one more quickie just so it would make up for that awkward first kiss a bit. Is the fact that he was so aggressive with the first kiss a red flag? He seems like the really nerdy, nice guy type who didn't even put his arm around me during our date the whole day (I definitely touched him more than he touched me!) so the fact that he was so aggressive with the kiss kind of surprised me... Link to post Share on other sites
Nemo Posted July 13, 2008 Share Posted July 13, 2008 I mean he wasn't aggressive at all but it was like he didn't want to let me go and He sounds like a keeper! Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted July 13, 2008 Share Posted July 13, 2008 OP, it's possible that the hugs and kisses intensity was just a pent-up release of the day's attraction for him. I was a bit shy in my younger years and found this to be somewhat common for me with a new person or someone who I'd had "feelings" for prior to ever dating them. Let me guess; I bet he forgot to set up your next date, didn't he? Time will tell if he can be trained. My wife did a pretty good job on me Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Nevermind Posted July 13, 2008 Share Posted July 13, 2008 Wow. You seem to be really emotional. Let's recapture the roller-coaster of the last weeks. You felt heartbroken because your ex left you for cheating on him. You wondered wether you could get him back (briefly) and then accepted the guilt and "learned a lesson". Then you go on a date. Then, after one date, you freak out about maybe not having a long term relationship with the guy, because maybe you'll be moving away. Now you're wondering wether the kiss was a red flag. Mh. He didn't let you go...this can either be forceful or romantic. Since you kept smiling and looking at each other, I am guessing the latter. Then you kissed him. I can see no red flag. But I'd consider taking things slow, and really think about why you can't be alone and why you feel the need to look for drama. For me this has rebound written all over it. You should relax, meditate on why you feel this way. Make decisions based on ratio as well as feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted July 13, 2008 Share Posted July 13, 2008 OY! OP, forgot your situ.... please, don't use a nerdy, genuine guy for a rebound; at the very least, be honest with him about stuff and then invite him to decide what he wants to do. He might be fine with a short-term, casual dating situation. Not speaking for him, when I was his age, I was looking for a wife to make babies with. Just sayin' Link to post Share on other sites
Nemo Posted July 13, 2008 Share Posted July 13, 2008 , when I was his age, I was looking for a wife to make babies with. Babies are wicked cool. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gummybear Posted July 13, 2008 Author Share Posted July 13, 2008 OY! OP, forgot your situ.... please, don't use a nerdy, genuine guy for a rebound; at the very least, be honest with him about stuff and then invite him to decide what he wants to do. He might be fine with a short-term, casual dating situation. Not speaking for him, when I was his age, I was looking for a wife to make babies with. Just sayin' Oh I'm pretty sure he's not a rebound. I've had rebounds before and I knew from the get-go they were rebounds, and I know for sure this guy is not one of them. Rebounds don't give me the same feelings this guy does. He is only 26...are 26 year olds looking for wife and babies already? LOL But hm...despite that, I don't think he's the casual relationship type (judging from the fact he waited 3 months on the site before he found me). I guess perhaps the fact that I'm most likely moving away is what is making me most uncomfortable right now. If you read my previous thread, you will see that I had told him I'm looking for a new job and that where I work depends on where there is a decent job market...which I suppose is a hint to him that there is a possiblity of me moving. But until I actually find my job back home and will move there, I'm hesitant to tell him. And I know I should just not care and date him for fun, but I guess it makes it a bit hard when he's so nice n nerdy and he's introduced me to his grandma already. And oh, he DID plan for the next date actually. haha. It's the July 19 sports game (which he asked me a few days back) and he had mentioned it again right before we kissed. I hurt my ex pretty bad, and I dont want to hurt this guy. He seems like a nice guy. Dang, if only I got my promotion!!! :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted July 13, 2008 Share Posted July 13, 2008 He sounds like a genuine guy looking for a serious relationship. But you should pace yourself a bit; he's already introduced you to his grandmother on the first date!!!! I think you should test out the water before actually settling. You've said that you don't want to hurt him. Just try to stay away from meeting the family for a month. Link to post Share on other sites
Nemo Posted July 13, 2008 Share Posted July 13, 2008 It's not really about the colour of the flag, but more about the length of the flagpole. Oh, and whether the flag can go all the way to the top, of course. Link to post Share on other sites
Nevermind Posted July 13, 2008 Share Posted July 13, 2008 And if it can hold out a while, what with all the shaking up there. Link to post Share on other sites
Nemo Posted July 13, 2008 Share Posted July 13, 2008 And if it can hold out a while, what with all the shaking up there. Great point. The top can get a lot of action. One should never pull too hard, because in rare cases it can come right off. If it starts to droop, then some persistent blowing can help to keep it flying proud once again. Link to post Share on other sites
backto1 Posted July 13, 2008 Share Posted July 13, 2008 He's probably a shy-ass. Sometimes shy-asses turn out to be cool as hell, sometimes they turn out to be freakazoids. Hell, I guess you could say that about anyone. But really, it depends on you to interpret the kiss. If you weren't comfortable with it, then get your ass outta there. It doesn't really matter if other people would have liked it or not because you are the one that would have to date the guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Nemo Posted July 13, 2008 Share Posted July 13, 2008 But really, it depends on you to interpret the kiss. If you weren't comfortable with it, then get your ass outta there. I guess my previous posts were irrelevant. Sorry, OP. I had no idea that he was trying to stick his tongue in your ass. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts