globus Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 Hi I dont know where to start. I am 26, male, 5'5' with a boy(childish) like face (coy) One of my friend who is a gym instructor says that I dont have hard looks over the face (the thing which girls usually likes) and he is right as many of my friends have said the same. Whenever I go to clubs or watch the girls on street/park etc, I see that most of the times they are with guys with good height (5'7+, 6 etc) Can we do something to get masculinity on the face or is it that I am born with it and now I need to accept it? (Tough looks, hard looks?)Is there anything I can do??? By nature, I am polite and always scarred of fighting with others and try to avoid it I even do not have a very muscular body (as I dont go to gym) but would that help? http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/talking_point/3014106.stm Yes! In Sierra Leone, extremely short people especially guys find it hard to make a perfect match in a love relationship. On the contrary, short ladies consider very tall guys as protective enough to hang out with. Idris Turay, Sierra Leone Should I accept that I would not be getting a date in a party with good looking girls? I am really starting to get a little depressed. I did find few dates but always felt that these factors have always discouraged me in the sense that girls always go with partners having greater height than them I read this somewhere but still sad Height is nothing. Everything from successful dating to being a business tycoon depends on one's charm, hard work and perseverance. Add sensitivity and sincerity to it all and you soar like an eagle. Its really a bad and suicidal feeling.....!
justaman99 Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 Man I feel for you I really do. The majority of women I date always talk about height as being important. It sucks. It's a preference but it's not everyone's preference. Just take care of yourself, your body and definitely your confidence and I'm sure you'll do fine. I have many friends that are of shorter stature than me and they have great girlfriends! Chin up man. There's someone if not more than one for everyone out there including yourself. Carry yourself well and forget about this social image garb. Not all women have this as a "requirement" and I am sure other things about you will shine. -Just
JustinWolf Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 Oh my, bro. Let me tell you something alright. The fact that you think you are short and getting into this depression makes you less likeable to the women out there. You have to understand that you need to be happy and you need to show confidence in yourself. I have a babyface when Im clean shaven. I'm 20 and I look like I'm 16. I keep a beard on me and it seems to help even though I shave it off completely from time to time. I'm 5'8... and I'm not that tall really. What you hear about height is false man! I know this guy, we always joke about his height and he's 25 years old. He's like shorter than you, I think. He has a girlfriend, though, because he always carries a huge smile on his face, he's very outgoing, he loves to joke and be funny and that creates a charming guy. You gotta be charming and trust me you will be fine. You don't need to be tall. Just be yourself, be funny, be creative in dating and always be positive. You seem to be smart, use your smarts. As for looking a bit older, try keeping a beard, and trim it from time to time like the one Collin Farell often has. As for the being afraid of fighting... well, that's normal but remember the first time you wanted to kiss a girl you were scared? During the kissing part though, you felt fine. Fighting is the same. You will get scared in the begining, you will take a few punches and all but trust me, even if you are down, you won't feel that hurt and the scare will be gone. Plus, nobody cares about someone who loses because even if you do lose in a fight, at least you did fight. Also, I do not condone any fights so I suggest you totally avoid them. You could hit the gym, if you want.
justaman99 Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 You don't want to look older trust me! Some women want the chiseled face but for me, when I'm clean shaven the ladies go crazy calling me baby face. They put their hands on my cheeks and say you are sooo cute! I'm not complaining and nor should you. Every woman has a preference, some like the baby face some like the more masculine features, some like tall guys, some don't give a ****, some like *******s, some like nice guys, but all women like a man who is confident with who they are oh, and a sense of humor. hehe -C
JustinWolf Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 You don't want to look older trust me! Some women want the chiseled face but for me, when I'm clean shaven the ladies go crazy calling me baby face. They put their hands on my cheeks and say you are sooo cute! I'm not complaining and nor should you. Every woman has a preference, some like the baby face some like the more masculine features, some like tall guys, some don't give a ****, some like *******s, some like nice guys, but all women like a man who is confident with who they are oh, and a sense of humor. hehe -C Cheers to that. It's true, you should be who you like to be. If looking older is going to give you a boost in confidence, i say go for it. If you think it wont help then there isn't any point. You choose to be who you want to be it and any woman who tells you the way you should be, she's really not worth it. Just be confortable being yourself and everything is going to turn out fine.
Author globus Posted July 13, 2008 Author Posted July 13, 2008 Hmmm.... Can gym changes looks of the face, plastic surgery? Botox? Anything? I have to meet this new girl tomorrow casually(we have common interests) and I am really not feeling very good after all these thoughts (Sorry guys, I know you are trying to help me.....sob sob)
ianandris Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 Yeah, bro, know the feeling. We've all got our hangups. I'm 25 and certifiably bald. I'm lucky to be able to pull off a clean shaven head, but most of the girls I'm interested in tend to dig guys with hair as a preference. Not a damn thing I can do about it. But, like most of the other guys said, we just need to be happy with who we are, not in spite of it. If you're happy with yourself, you'll be confident, and confidence is the most attractive quality. Edit: dude, you need to spend some time in the mirror pointing out all your attractive qualities. For real. If you're meeting a girl, you need to do that, STAT. Don't let yourself comment on the things you don't like, only the things you think make you attractive. If you spend too much time lamenting your perceived negatives, you're gonna get down on yourself, and that is the worst thing you can do when you're meeting someone new. Girls, like anyone else, gravitate to positive, confident people. Your job meeting this girl is to make her feel comfortable. That's it. If you're not comfortable with yourself, you're going to have a hard time doing that.
Author globus Posted July 13, 2008 Author Posted July 13, 2008 Hmm.... Life has it on me.... spend so much of time in front of computers....get interested in your work and then you dont realize how time passes, what happened to your physique etc or at least the fit body type...you become less social, to add to it, you were always shy with no courage.....and if any damn person tries to scare you, you really get scarred.... At 26, I am still fighting with myself!! I want to go ahead in life, do something for my country.... Would I ever come out of my own problems??
JustinWolf Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 You're meeting a girl tommorow huh? Well keep yourself confident, make her laugh and have a good time, don't expect anything but keep her interested and show her you are interested too. The reason why I say don't expect anything is because it's going to make you much more easy and relaxed so you're going to be yourself, you'll be less nervous. Enjjoy yourself, that's what matters. The gym won't change your face. Botox will make you uglier and fake. If you are like really old and getting botox, then okay go for it, if it makes you happy but being young and having that is not good, man. I suggested the gym so it will boost your confidence. I know some damn ugly guys at the gym (sorry guys if you know it's me and are reading this... yes, you are ugly from my pov) but when they get out of the gym, they talk and walk like if they were multi millionaires and that every chick is going to sex them up and the worst part is... they actually do meet pretty women and agree with each other passionately in bed. Why? Cuz they get out of the gym, confident. If you do get that, please don't over do it, it's less charming. Best of luck to you. EDIT: I just saw you posted again. Well, I'd say you are only 26 and freaken young and you still have a lot of time to discover yourself. Take your time. Have some fun, you'll see people attracted to you more if you are positive person and confident. Just keep it up, man. Don't give up, never do that. Never cross out your arms and always be ready to move forward. Scared if someone scares you? Who cares!? The moment you will be happy and confident, you'll see no one will even dare try to scare you. Keep that smile. Keep moving forward.
replicator Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 Yeah, bro, know the feeling. We've all got our hangups. I'm 25 and certifiably bald. I'm lucky to be able to pull off a clean shaven head, but most of the girls I'm interested in tend to dig guys with hair as a preference. Not a damn thing I can do about it. But, like most of the other guys said, we just need to be happy with who we are, not in spite of it. If you're happy with yourself, you'll be confident, and confidence is the most attractive quality. Edit: dude, you need to spend some time in the mirror pointing out all your attractive qualities. For real. If you're meeting a girl, you need to do that, STAT. Don't let yourself comment on the things you don't like, only the things you think make you attractive. If you spend too much time lamenting your perceived negatives, you're gonna get down on yourself, and that is the worst thing you can do when you're meeting someone new. Girls, like anyone else, gravitate to positive, confident people. Your job meeting this girl is to make her feel comfortable. That's it. If you're not comfortable with yourself, you're going to have a hard time doing that. My hair started to thin a lot over the past few years. When I was in a relationship, I never thought much of it - but now being single, and after the stressful break up, I look in the mirror with a lot of insecurity. I can empathize with you - though I still have some hair, definitely the process of losing hair is probably worse than being bald. You have the right attitude, and need to believe that it is about believing in yourself. I think women will gravitate to you if you have the other qualities that really matter. Looks can only take you so far, and really hair is not something anybody has control over. It isn't like being overweight, where you have some control. I don't see why it should be a stigma. Be bald and proud, and you'll one day find a girl who will see you for who you are, and not be so superficial to be hung up over a full head of hair. You already seem to know all this - but as I'm going through some hair loss, just wanted to share my own feelings on the matter.
Zapbasket Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 I used to be REALLY not into short guys. Everyone I've ever dated has been at least 5'11''. I thought height was one of my "must-haves." But you know what? One day I was approached by this charming, energetic, young-looking man who woke me up inside and...he's only 5'6''--and I'm 5'6.5''. Immediately the height "must-have" went straight out the window. I find him attractive in every respect, and there's an added bonus of his height enabling me to borrow his sports gear, because I can fit into it all! I'm sure at times it's bothered him that he's short. But he's a black belt in karate, he skis, he keeps trim and fit. And though he's 49, he still has a baby face that now just makes him look young and hot while his contemporaries all look their age. What attracted me most was his confidence. Also, I see plenty of women with men who are shorter than they are. It's certainly not an obstacle...unless you make it one.
xpaperxcutx Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 I used to be REALLY not into short guys. Everyone I've ever dated has been at least 5'11''. I thought height was one of my "must-haves." But you know what? One day I was approached by this charming, energetic, young-looking man who woke me up inside and...he's only 5'6''--and I'm 5'6.5''. Immediately the height "must-have" went straight out the window. I find him attractive in every respect, and there's an added bonus of his height enabling me to borrow his sports gear, because I can fit into it all! I'm sure at times it's bothered him that he's short. But he's a black belt in karate, he skis, he keeps trim and fit. And though he's 49, he still has a baby face that now just makes him look young and hot while his contemporaries all look their age. What attracted me most was his confidence. Also, I see plenty of women with men who are shorter than they are. It's certainly not an obstacle...unless you make it one. He sounds gorgeous and I'm 18!! OP, forget height. If it's genetics you can't help it. And you can't always feel depressed just because you're not very satisfied with yourself. Take myself for example, I used to be chubby and always had a terrible time about my weight. But I couldn't take it sitting down and feeling sorry about myself. I took charge of my own life and started hitting the gym, now I'm a size 2 and feels so confident. If you're so unsatisfied, do something about it. But don't take the easy way out like plastic surgery, or botox. Work hard to change yourself, like going to the gym and developing a muscular physic. You know that whole saying "no pain, no gain". Well weight loss is a bitch, but in the end, hard work pays off.
bill1234 Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 Hey, forget about the height. I'm only 5'6" and of all the women I've been involved with - more than 20 - only two have been shorter than me. My ex wife is 5'11". Yeah some women prefer tall guys and will exclude you from their 'pool' at the start, but there are plenty of women out there for whom it isn't an issue.
ioncebelieved Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 I used to be REALLY not into short guys. Everyone I've ever dated has been at least 5'11''. I thought height was one of my "must-haves." But you know what? One day I was approached by this charming, energetic, young-looking man who woke me up inside and...he's only 5'6''--and I'm 5'6.5''. Immediately the height "must-have" went straight out the window. I find him attractive in every respect, and there's an added bonus of his height enabling me to borrow his sports gear, because I can fit into it all! I'm sure at times it's bothered him that he's short. But he's a black belt in karate, he skis, he keeps trim and fit. And though he's 49, he still has a baby face that now just makes him look young and hot while his contemporaries all look their age. What attracted me most was his confidence. Also, I see plenty of women with men who are shorter than they are. It's certainly not an obstacle...unless you make it one. That is what I am talking about!! Good for you that you looked past your must haves and found a great guy!! I am 5'6" and maybe could say I am 5'7", but I have dated taller women in the past that wanted a taller dude, but they really liked how I carried myself and I pulled the height off. Sure I am not that fond of the height, but have to work with what you got. This thread hits home for me and I am glad to see someone come forth. It really is how your carry yourself. For starters, Globus I recommend standing up straight with your head up and walk with confidence. Women love that!! Bottom line is you can't every women you want because of your limitations, but WHy would you want someone that was that superficial. Well maybe not superficial, but you know what I am speaking of. CARRY yourself like a champ and soon you will feel like a champ!! When I finally get over my ex, I too will be the champ I once was!!!
motive2002 Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 I like the previous post about charm. Make them smile and laugh and that will get you a long way. Confidence, as others said, is key. Everyone has preferences, but I'd be willing to bet good money that many, many people date out of their preference if they really like someone. In my perfect little world she'd be about 5'3" with red hair and a large bustline, but I've dated all kinds of girls in the past that look nothing like that. Just because you have preferences doesn't mean you stick to them without exception, unless you're really superficial.. and you don't want to date superficial people, trust me. The only thing you will ever be able to do about your height is to accept it.
D-Lish Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 My ex husband was an inch shorter than me- and I never even noticed, because he carried himself with so much confidence. He was funny and charming and extremely smart. Even to this day when I mention to my friends that my ex was shorter than me, they don't believe me- because that isn't how they viewed him either. He also wore shoes that had a bit of a heel, so it added an inch to his height....lol. And just keep in mind that some people grow into their looks further down the road than others. It's not BS when people say that personality and charm can go a long way. I really have met shorter guys that have been so charming and confident that I don't even notice their height. I've also met super hot guys that have totally turned me off with their lack of personality. Nothing can make someone go from hot to ugly in a matter of seconds because they are rude or arrogant or just plain blah. Everyone has preferences- just "types" we are attracted to. But it's actually been pretty rare for me to have relationships with guys I would deem "my type".... Confidence is really sexy. I'll take a confident, funny shorter guy over a taller boring guy anyday. Developing some confidence and enjoying who you are is something you should work on- forget about going to extreme measures to change your looks... start with your attitude. When you don't like who you are, you wear that self loathing like a bad hawiian shirt- people will notice it.
kizik Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 D-Lish, you've got great points, as do many others who have mentioned that confidence and personality go a long way. For what it's worth though, I totally understand where the OP is coming from. I'm like 5'7"-8", 24 y.o. but I look 16. And yes, lots of chicks want a tall guy. And I can't stand reading that on these online profiles. I'm like, "Not even gonna bother!" I'm not going to care anymore if someone finds me attractive, it's exhausting, it's painful. Not to say I'm not going to try to look my best though! I just really can't be someone's type though. I'm not interested in bending for anyone; that's what I did for my ex, and I lost all of myself and am trying to find me again. Each day for me is a battle to love myself. Not having others love you does hurt your self-esteem. In some way or another we all want someone to be "into" us.
ioncebelieved Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 My ex husband was an inch shorter than me- and I never even noticed, because he carried himself with so much confidence. He was funny and charming and extremely smart. Even to this day when I mention to my friends that my ex was shorter than me, they don't believe me- because that isn't how they viewed him either. He also wore shoes that had a bit of a heel, so it added an inch to his height....lol. And just keep in mind that some people grow into their looks further down the road than others. It's not BS when people say that personality and charm can go a long way. I really have met shorter guys that have been so charming and confident that I don't even notice their height. I've also met super hot guys that have totally turned me off with their lack of personality. Nothing can make someone go from hot to ugly in a matter of seconds because they are rude or arrogant or just plain blah. Everyone has preferences- just "types" we are attracted to. But it's actually been pretty rare for me to have relationships with guys I would deem "my type".... Confidence is really sexy. I'll take a confident, funny shorter guy over a taller boring guy anyday. Developing some confidence and enjoying who you are is something you should work on- forget about going to extreme measures to change your looks... start with your attitude. When you don't like who you are, you wear that self loathing like a bad hawiian shirt- people will notice it. Okay forget about your ex and let me be your present then..... :-) Okay, so I am messing with ya and I hope you are doing alright D!!!
ioncebelieved Posted July 15, 2008 Posted July 15, 2008 D-Lish, you've got great points, as do many others who have mentioned that confidence and personality go a long way. For what it's worth though, I totally understand where the OP is coming from. I'm like 5'7"-8", 24 y.o. but I look 16. And yes, lots of chicks want a tall guy. And I can't stand reading that on these online profiles. I'm like, "Not even gonna bother!" I'm not going to care anymore if someone finds me attractive, it's exhausting, it's painful. Not to say I'm not going to try to look my best though! I just really can't be someone's type though. I'm not interested in bending for anyone; that's what I did for my ex, and I lost all of myself and am trying to find me again. Each day for me is a battle to love myself. Not having others love you does hurt your self-esteem. In some way or another we all want someone to be "into" us. I had to respond to you on this one Kiz!! Do not think you can escape it!!! I am with you on this one. I took all my profiles down because of how silly some profiles sound and how superficial some are. Reminds me of a ex Hooter's girl I dated last year. Sure she was hot and her profile had that height at least 5ft11 crap and she accepted me for my 5ft7... Now she was crazy Kiz and come to think of it her sex was not all that crazy speaking of your other post. Back to my point originally, IT GOT SO OLD reading their profiles. I even almost made a similar post putting all down what I would and wouldn't accept, but The would have kicked me of 4 show.
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