Myheartsonmysleeve Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 Okay guys, I want to know what you want. I need to know where I can find a MAN and not a boy. I want to know what qualities men are looking for in a woman. I want to know what a woman can do to captivate you. I know that I'm a good woman, and that I deserve to be treated well. I am tired of being told that I'm a great women, and that I have all the qualities that they're looking for, but then somehow that's not enough. What does that mean?
PandaStillLovesBunny Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 It means that you should be yourself and wait for- or actively seek out - a guy who can appreciate that. If you try to become something you're not simply for the sake of getting a date, you'll never have been what the guy was looking for in the first place, and the facade will have to crumble away sooner or later. If you really want to change yourself, and to adopt different "qualities," you must be interested in doing them for YOURSELF, not to attract a man. Also, if you don't have the qualities that one man is looking for, you may have the qualities that another is looking for. Men are not a collective hive mind - we don't all think the same.
carhill Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 I need to know where I can find a MAN and not a boy. Hmmm...try this. The next time you grocery shop, look around at the men in the store. If you see one shopping from a list, looking at the occasional nutritional information, feeling up the produce, and he's not obviously married or gay, there's a sign It's a sign that he doesn't need a woman, but may want a woman in his life. I'm going shopping later today. What happens in the grocery store stays in the grocery store....shh, don't tell my wife... Seriously, try the above and don't go schlepping to the store in flip flops and grunge clothes. Flatter yourself. I want to know what qualities men are looking for in a woman. I want to know what a woman can do to captivate you. Every man is different so no blanket statements. Generally, IMO, if you appreciate the manly things he does as well as the effort he puts into the affection he shows you and don't take him for granted, he'll keep coming back like a loyal canine that he is For me, the three biggest things my wife did to alienate my affections were to 1. ignore me 2. take me for granted 3. put her friends and family before our marriage So, for this dog, acknowledge the dog's existence, pay attention to the dog, and make the dog feel like he's number one in your life and you're good to go. Like I said, every man is different, but I think the above is nearly universal.
JP77 Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 A woman that actually sees worth in me. A woman who believes in me. A woman who is able to engage me, educate me and make me feel like alive. I don't ask for much really, just for a woman to do all the above and ultimately remain herself. Of course, I'll never find a such a woman, for she exists, she just wont put up with scum like me.
Author Myheartsonmysleeve Posted July 13, 2008 Author Posted July 13, 2008 I guess I'm wondering why I keep getting told that I'm great, and then when he says I'll call tomorrow around 5.... I never get a call. I'm curious as to why guys go out of their way to lie and make me think things are going well. BE MEN and not boys.
JP77 Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 I often why I am live, for I serve no purpose to man nor beast. Take life with the rough, just as you would with the smooth
refurb Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 People tend to look for partners who value the same thing as them. Fitness buffs look for people who stay fit, outgoing people like outgoing people, etc. That being said, everyone has their own idea of an ideal partner. RF
backto1 Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 Here's the list of qualities I like in women: Women I am physically attracted to Women who have a passion for something...be it a job, hobby, sport or whatever Women with self confidence, intelligence, kindness / sweetness, communication skills, emotional maturity
Dark-N-Romantic Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 Personality Wise: Compassionate, honorable, honest, passionate, intelligent, loving, sensual, erotic, confident, non-materialistic, open minded, respectful. Physically: Nice size butt and breasts, petite to athletic build, must have at least neck length hair, cute face, non-smoking, non-drinking, no drugs. Turn-Ons About A Woman: Kinky, takes care of her body, not afraid to take charge sometimes, if she as a little bit of a nerdy and/or tomboyish nature mixed in with her being a lady. Turn-Offs: A fat body (not saying they are necessarily ugly, I just don't find myself getting sexually excited by them), too negative, uncooperative, too materialistic, rude, unladylike, too short or no hair, disrespectful, need to be validated, too clingy. Well as for your last question... It is apparent you DON'T have everything the guys want (an realistically no one ever does). Actually, lets say you don't have or have something they do want in the long run. And/or the person is just playing a game. You know the one that men and women play, where women use sex to get the love and men use the love to get the sex. DNR
monkey00 Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 I guess I'm wondering why I keep getting told that I'm great, and then when he says I'll call tomorrow around 5.... I never get a call. I'm curious as to why guys go out of their way to lie and make me think things are going well. BE MEN and not boys. I disagree, that happens universally in dating from both sexes. Anyway, some of the qualities I love in a women are: Honesty, loyalty, knows how to communicate, sweet in a caring way, down to earth, makes as much of an effort to plan dates/make date suggestions and call me as I would do for her, and last but not least physical attraction with a killer smile. If I'm doing all the work in maintaining a relationship with someone, or making all the effort to be with someone - then what does that say about them? Being taken for granted is the worst thing someone would do and it only drives people away.
kladia Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 Feel like I'm in the same boat you are! It's the women like jerks and the men like bitches syndrome. You may be the coolest girl ever, but in about a week the same guy will be with a total bitch. Or the guy that almost proposes to a girl after the most tumultuous relationship ever finally ends things only when he gets cheated on. A year later dates you, and 2.5 years later well "You're really great, but I'm just not in love with you...blah blah." A little jaded, but with the people I know, right now it seems the bitchy girls are getting what they want...but take this with a giant shaker of salt, because it's been some times for me relationship wise the past 6 months. Just gotta keep on keepin' on I guess. I'm hoping men will reach some clarity as they get older, just as women tend to do, and start to fall for the cool girls. Though, hopefully some will not be so thick that they'll be able to accomplish this maturing without having the emotional baggage of a messy divorce from said "bitch." Meanwhile, although I am totally awesome, I can always be better, and hopefully that will lead me to some great people.
DunnoWhat Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 Okay guys, I want to know what you want. I need to know where I can find a MAN and not a boy. I want to know what qualities men are looking for in a woman. I want to know what a woman can do to captivate you. I know that I'm a good woman, and that I deserve to be treated well. I am tired of being told that I'm a great women, and that I have all the qualities that they're looking for, but then somehow that's not enough. What does that mean? If you want to attract a MAN then you but act like a WOMAN, a real woman i.e. be comfortable letting the man take the lead and not be loud or aggressive. Masculine males and feminine females get on best and Feminine males and masculine females are suited to one another too
Balthazar Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 I like her about 5 foot 7, nice full breasts, long chestnut brown or blonde hair, bown/green/blue eyes,likes rock music, has a positive outlook on life, can cook, and is interesting to talk too. Note: This list in not in order of importance! Actually, the above are not etched in stone. If enough that I like her and want to be with her.
Author Myheartsonmysleeve Posted July 13, 2008 Author Posted July 13, 2008 I guess I always end up on the wrong side of a relationship... any relationship because I care about people and I find myself going out of my way to help people. I'm also the type of person that if I want something I don't wait for someone else to do it for me. I am just tired of being alone and tired of the games. I don't understand why there is such an act. For example ( this has happened to me many times) "I had a great time tonight, I'll call you tomorrow at 7" and then they never call. Why tell me the date and time you'll call if you won't call. Why set up plans for next saturday, and then never talk to me again. Why can't you just say, thanks for coming out with me tonight. Or, how about some honesty, I had a great time, but to be honest I don't think you're exactly what I'm looking for. I'm a big girl, and I'd rather the honesty than the game. Everything you've all said about what you look for, I know I have most of those qualities. The only thing I can think of is that I'm not a petitie girl. I'm actually quite tall and I'm not skinny. Which can be intimidating, but I'm confident with myself. I walk tall, and like who I am. So then I guess my next question is where can a girl find a good man... (aside from the grocery store LOL)
bill1234 Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 What I want in a woman: Looks are a deal-breaker. If I don't want to get physical with you, then I'm not interested. Sorry about that, I'm shallow. Having said that, though I have an ideal of beauty, not living up to my 'perfect 10' ideal isn't a dealbreaker in itself. And someone I didn't find attractive initially can grow on me. But there has to be the spark. I've had relationships where the physical attraction wasn't there, and they were just painful. You must be intelligent. I want to be able to converse with you on a wide range of topics. You should be feisty and humorous and know what you want out of life. I don't want a wet blanket or a doormat. You should be affectionate. But don't overdo it. It helps my masculine insecurities if I know you're thinking about me, so I love to hear from you. But soppy cards every day and physical clinginess (which an ex used to do) are offputting. You should be sensual. My ex wife was not good in bed, and didn't relish either her own or my body. I overlooked it for years but eventually it broke us up. Let's have FUN! You need to be able to communicate. My ex girlfriend had big problems with our relationship that I wasn't picking up on - but never told me until she dumped me. I don't want that situation ever to happen to me again. If there's a problem, let's talk about it and work on it. Be loyal. Making me jealous is a good way to keep me interested, but it also drives me insane and causes me pain. In my case, you don't have to be able to cook. I love cooking, especially for someone I love.
Trialbyfire Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 Okay guys, I want to know what you want. I need to know where I can find a MAN and not a boy. I want to know what qualities men are looking for in a woman. I want to know what a woman can do to captivate you. I know that I'm a good woman, and that I deserve to be treated well. I am tired of being told that I'm a great women, and that I have all the qualities that they're looking for, but then somehow that's not enough. What does that mean? What qualities do you have, both positive and negative? If you list your qualities, maybe guys who might be interested in your "type" might be able to give realistic input. Having men in general where many aren't your "type" giving you their requirements, can be counterproductive, in that you'll have to pretzel yourself to meet bars that aren't even suitable for you. No one person can be universally attractive or attracted to others. Btw, no offense to the members that have posted already.
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