vesper16 Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 Hey all, Hard to know where to file this question under, and it's probably not a big deal, but I thought it wouldn't hurt to bounce around some ideas on here as to the best thing to do in this situation, so here goes: Was chatting to a girl I know at uni the other day that I have/had a pretty big crush on for at least a year. Pathetic of me, I know, but she is a really amazing girl, and I still like her a lot. I'm pretty sure she knew about it but didn't like me in that way. Or at least by the time I worked up the courage to ask her out it was too late (this was a few months ago and it wasn't the greatest attempt). She recently started going out with another guy so I sort of kept contact with her to a minimum and managed to get on with my life well enough (though I still found myself thinking of her a fair bit). Cutting contact altogether wasn't feasible in this case cuz we have a lot of mutual friends from uni who I do see regularly. Anyway the last few times I've seen her we have gotten along fine, pretty much back to the way things were before the crush and her new bf, I still like her though but have managed to keep my feelings for her more or less under control. At the moment I'd say we are friends, I think she knows I still like her and seems ok with that even if she doesn't feel the same way - when I caught up with her at the birthday party of a mutual friend she did make an effort to find out how I was going and seemed reluctant to talk about her bf around me too much so as not to make me feel uncomfortable. Recently however my feelings for her seem to have sparked up again out of nowhere!! A couple of weeks ago I met some friends (including her) for dinner and the chemistry still seemed to be there, but I'm mindful of getting my hopes up again, I've noticed myself slipping back into the old habits of looking for signals when I'm around her etc. Anyway she's invited me to join her and some other friends to catch up some time, and I am in two minds about going, I said I'd join them cuz I haven't seen the others for a while also. My hesitation about joining more comes out of me thinking that things might be fine at her end (regarding my feelings for her), but I'm not so sure that I'm fine!! At the back of my mind also is the possibility that she still hasn't committed to her bf and is trying to make up her mind about me (though this could be wishful thinking on my part!). I don't seem to be in the same 'friendzone' as her other guy friends, but I don't think she sees me as a potential bf either, if that makes sense. Thoughts? Ideas? Advisement?
xjohnsgirlx Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 This is so cute, lol that doesnt help im not really too sure how to help, i just thought i would comment as no one else has. I wouldnt ever ever ever give up on hope that she likes you as more then a friend. She may have spoken to you without mentioning her bf so that she could see how well the convo wen and so maybe she could put out of her mind for a while that she did have a bf ? ...maybe ... maybe not .. possibility... i dont really no what else to say . .. id go to this friend catch up thingy...dont let you liking her control your life.. have fun and enjoy yourself =) you only live once
Author vesper16 Posted July 13, 2008 Author Posted July 13, 2008 Yeah, I've had a couple of days to think about it and I'm more...philosophical about things, I suppose. I guess it's always more awkward for the person doing the liking (i.e. me) when the other one starts dating. I'm under no illusions, she has looked happy with her current bf when I've seen them together. Guess it's a good exercise for me to learn to be more accepting of things hehe...if we do end up going out I'll just be myself and treat her equally (i.e. don't pay her any more or less attention than the others in the group). It would be nice to know what she was thinking (in regards to me, obviously ) though!
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