porter218 Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 Tomcat exactly... Superficial and shallow sums up anyone who has a gigantic list of requirements they expect others to meet to date them. Of course, they can only post the obvious that EVERYONE seeks in a mate, "moral, sense of humor, integrity, intelligent, honor" lol. Like ANYBODY says "I want a mate who is immoral, with no sense of humor, dumb, and with no honor or integrity" I can tell you really don't need a man! I mean thats why you go on dates and over analyze every little thing, then post it on LS. Wow, you really don't need a man! I actually think some women do go for that ****.
Trialbyfire Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 Well I am in good company, because as of yet no man on Earth seems to have matched your criteria, and also liked you in return. Just wait a few years, and that list will magically shrink.. Actually, there have been men who've matched my list. Who says every relationship has to last forever? Have you married your prima donna, yet?
Tomcat33 Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 Like ANYBODY says "I want a mate who is immoral, with no sense of humor, dumb, and with no honor or integrity" Personally I think it is stupid to tell another person "I need someone who is honest, has integrity, and with a sense of humour" For starters everyone has a sense of humour, some people find certain things funny others find other things, the question is does your sense of humour mesh? Intergrity, morality, honesty, sincerity and capability to be true to your word is something that should not have to be requested of another human being, we are supposed to posses those qualities they are BASIC human qualities of a well balanced and healthy individual. So you may request that from a person but that does not mean they will posses those things. I especially find it funny when people put that on a dating profile, as if ANYONE who does not have those basic things is going to say outright, "oh wait I am not honest I'd better not pursue that person." So it's pointless. The only way to know if a person is who they say they are is to get to know them. There is no other way. Now sometimes people create long lists of requirements that makes it impossible for others to meet not so much because they are shallow, though it does make them appear that way,, but moreso because they are closed off to truly falling in love someone else. They could be recovering from a past relationship or they were burned in the past and feel the need to protect their hearts When we are not ready for a new relationship we put a wall up and what better wall than to make a laundry list of requirements that is impossible for someone else to meet? And there is nothing wrong with that, I think when a person is ready they will come around. But this is all way off topic, laundry list or not, if a guy tries to pick you up at the gym I don't think it is creepy at all I think it's cute. If he persists and doesn't take the hint you are not interested, thenTHAT'S creepy.
Tomcat33 Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 His might list might say 36dd and blond. Would he be "superficial", or really commendable for not settling.. Well no, that would never happen because if you have a 400ft list of requirements one would be that the other person not require anything different than what you expect. Hey maybe I should make a 400ft list too it sounds like fun, "Build your own man no assembling required"
Lizzie60 Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 Hum... I don't think so.. I think, on the contrary, that it is a good place to meet people.. but who am I to comment? I don't go to the gym... but I would think it's a good 'meating' place..
Trialbyfire Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 Well no, that would never happen because if you have a 400ft list of requirements one would be that the other person not require anything different than what you expect. Hey maybe I should make a 400ft list too it sounds like fun, "Build your own man no assembling required" It is fun! You date who you want, when you want and how you want. The list ensures you filter out domestic servants, like bones! Give me a man any day of the week!
Tomcat33 Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 It is fun! You date who you want, when you want and how you want. The list ensures you filter out domestic servants, like bones! Give me a man any day of the week! If sounds like fun!! But if you can have any man on any given day of the week then it can't be that big of a list, maybe it's 350ft long?
Trialbyfire Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 If sounds like fun!! But if you can have any man on any given day of the week then it can't be that big of a list, maybe it's 350ft long? It's obviously an exaggeration of the list being 400 ft. It's a pretty big list though, of which most is negotiable. The 100% non-negotiables are most def. the top five previously referred. I think this is where some of the members are getting their knickers in a knot. I know what I want and if there's a man who isn't willing or able to meet the non-negotiables, so be it. Most definitely, I can't get every man on the face of the planet. That's a ridiculous assumption. I do know that everything I'm asking for is something I can personally bring to the table so to me, it's not that big a deal to require that someone else bring equal attributes to the table. Much of what I'm looking for might not be traits that other women find attractive, or that other men will find attractive for the women they're looking for. That's completely A-okay, y'know?
CaliGuy Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 Have to agree with you on that, you cannot seriously have a 400ft long list of expectations and not consider yourself shallow. I just don't see how you can point the finger the other way if you do? In defense of TBF, I think she's just being facetious. She IS dating right now and she's jaded. We've all been jaded at one time or another. If she decides she wants a break from dating and makes a joke about a 400ft long list of criteria, I don't see how that is really relevent to the conversation. Beating each other up in this thread isn't helping either.
porter218 Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 How in the world did this get into a discussion of one poster's standards for men? Then she states she doesn't even go to the gym, so who cares? Anyway, you can meet a date anywhere. The same rules apply in a gym as in the local singles bar or a party. If you are interested, go ahead and chat/flirt back with the dude. If not, politely state that you are not interested. The best way is to say "I'm sorry, I'm really working out hard now and would like to concentrate on my workout." That's pretty polite and he gets the picture. If you're a female and strike up a conversation with the guy, he would hopefully do the same thing! Politely brush them off! No that usually makes them think that I am interested but to busy at the moment. So then I have to deal with them trying again at what they think is a better time, like later that day or the next day. I have really had a problem with the men at the gym being way too persistent.
bones1 Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 Quite the change of tune! First... "I'm single because I want to be. Getting dates or finding men for relationships is never a problem for me." Then... "I have a 400 ft scroll full of requirements which at the top of the list includes some of the most stringent moral requirements which most men aren't capable of meeting. If I die an old maid, so be it. I won't settle for less." Then later... "It's obviously an exaggeration of the list being 400 ft. It's a pretty big list though, of which most is negotiable." Thats all I was pointing out. It is clearly transparent that you didn't mean anything of what you were saying, as you contradict yourself repeatedly. People who put up a facade are easy to spot.
Tomcat33 Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 It's obviously an exaggeration of the list being 400 ft. It's a pretty big list though, of which most is negotiable. The 100% non-negotiables are most def. the top five previously referred. I think this is where some of the members are getting their knickers in a knot. I know what I want and if there's a man who isn't willing or able to meet the non-negotiables, so be it. Most definitely, I can't get every man on the face of the planet. That's a ridiculous assumption. I do know that everything I'm asking for is something I can personally bring to the table so to me, it's not that big a deal to require that someone else bring equal attributes to the table. Much of what I'm looking for might not be traits that other women find attractive, or that other men will find attractive for the women they're looking for. That's completely A-okay, y'know? Of course it is that is why I was playing with you. I know you don't really have a list of requirements that long. Your needs are your needs. It is your life, and it is your future and what you look for is exclusive to you, as it should be. And quite frankly no one has the right to comment on what is best for you. I use terms like shallow or superficial or any adjective like that loosely because we all have our sets of needs and we are all shallow in our own way. No one can tell us what it is right or wrong or even shallow. It is so subjective. I could say I love guys that are intelligent, sophisticated and well read and that could be discriminating a whole whack of guys. And someone might think I am just as shallow as the guy that says he likes a girl with DDs, skinny and blond. I guess the more requirements a person has the more "shallow" they appear to be. Oh well "vive la superficialité"
Trialbyfire Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 Quite the change of tune! First... "I'm single because I want to be. Getting dates or finding men for relationships is never a problem for me." Then... "I have a 400 ft scroll full of requirements which at the top of the list includes some of the most stringent moral requirements which most men aren't capable of meeting. If I die an old maid, so be it. I won't settle for less." Then later... "It's obviously an exaggeration of the list being 400 ft. It's a pretty big list though, of which most is negotiable." Thats all I was pointing out. It is clearly transparent that you didn't mean anything of what you were saying, as you contradict yourself repeatedly. People who put up a facade are easy to spot. bones, you're so transparent!
Trialbyfire Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 Of course it is that is why I was playing with you. I know you don't really have a list of requirements that long. Your needs are your needs. It is your life, and it is your future and what you look for is exclusive to you, as it should be. And quite frankly no one has the right to comment on what is best for you. I use terms like shallow or superficial or any adjective like that loosely because we all have our sets of needs and we are all shallow in our own way. No one can tell us what it is right or wrong or even shallow. It is so subjective. I could say I love guys that are intelligent, sophisticated and well read and that could be discriminating a whole whack of guys. And someone might think I am just as shallow as the guy that says he likes a girl with DDs, skinny and blond. I guess the more requirements a person has the more "shallow" they appear to be. Oh well "vive la superficialité" I suspect that most people aren't even aware of what criteria they're searching for. Otherwise, they'd be bedding and wedding the first person they date!
Tomcat33 Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 In defense of TBF, I think she's just being facetious. She IS dating right now and she's jaded. We've all been jaded at one time or another. If she decides she wants a break from dating and makes a joke about a 400ft long list of criteria, I don't see how that is really relevent to the conversation. Beating each other up in this thread isn't helping either. Read my last post. You know what I think I need to say this as I am sure I speak for many here, you should take TBF out on a date already and make it happen the two of you look like you would make a smashing couple, lookswise you seem to look compatible on paper and in terms of requirements you both seem to have quite a bit in common. It would be so cool if LS formed a love match. Ok that was just my observation feel free to throw rotten tomatoes if you think it's a bad one. But I am quite confident it is not...
Tomcat33 Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 I suspect that most people aren't even aware of what criteria they're searching for. Otherwise, they'd be bedding and wedding the first person they date! I think that's the thing, some people are intimidated by the idea that others have a clearer picture of what they want. Life and experience offers you a clearer picture of what you do and do not want.
bones1 Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 Well, I tend to be more romantic. I feel the bonds between a man and woman transcend lists, and often times are unexplainable. Would you rather be with a man who thinks "Wow, there is just something unexplainable about her that I love"? Or a man who says "well. she fit the list that I created of qualities that I think I want in a woman!" I see that you are afraid to post your long list, other than posting 5 generic traits all normal humans generally have. As we know, much of your list would be superficial, or it couldn't possibly be that long. Sorry blue sky...
Trialbyfire Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 I think that's the thing, some people are intimidated by the idea that others have a clearer picture of what they want. Life and experience offers you a clearer picture of what you do and do not want. Agreed! While romance is nice, to make a relationship last, there's a lot more involved, specifically compatibility of interests and more importantly, core values. If you don't even know what you want and are groping around in the dark, you're going to continue making the same mistakes over and over again with people who are wrong for you. Also, people confuse wants and needs so often.
Balthazar Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 So, how's Joanne doing? Topically, a guy is generally only "creepy" anywhere if he's not attractive to the lady. The gym is irrelevant Still have the feelings for her carhill. But that doesn't mean men should not be doing their thing when single and not emotionally involved!
Jilly Bean Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 Still have the feelings for her carhill. Ahem! I can read this! (said from the jealous back-up option...)
porter218 Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 Well, I tend to be more romantic. I feel the bonds between a man and woman transcend lists, and often times are unexplainable. Would you rather be with a man who thinks "Wow, there is just something unexplainable about her that I love"? Or a man who says "well. she fit the list that I created of qualities that I think I want in a woman!" I see that you are afraid to post your long list, other than posting 5 generic traits all normal humans generally have. As we know, much of your list would be superficial, or it couldn't possibly be that long. Sorry blue sky... I understand what you are saying here, but it melts my heart more when I ask a man why he loves me, he can tell me a long list of reasons with no time to think instead of the typical "I don't know, I just love you". I would rather he be able to explain it otherwise I may beleive he is just infatuated with me.
Balthazar Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 Ahem! I can read this! (said from the jealous back-up option...) Well Jilly, if you wanna make first team all you have to do is..... and Balthazar suggestively shows Jilly a fetching Yankees shirt(much like her old Sox avatar which has forever been burned into his mind). Why wait until the gym to hit on women, We have the LOVESHACK!
porter218 Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 Read my last post. You know what I think I need to say this as I am sure I speak for many here, you should take TBF out on a date already and make it happen the two of you look like you would make a smashing couple, lookswise you seem to look compatible on paper and in terms of requirements you both seem to have quite a bit in common. It would be so cool if LS formed a love match. Ok that was just my observation feel free to throw rotten tomatoes if you think it's a bad one. But I am quite confident it is not... That is sooo funny, I was just thinking the same thing. I officially deem you two a LoveShack Match
Star Gazer Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 Would you go up to someone and try to hit on them if they are jogging down the street? No, you wouldn't because it is rude. How is talking to someone in the middle of a workout at the gym any different? I can't jog down the street because I have a knee problem. Therefore I have to use low/non impact machines inside. People seem to think that because I'm on a stationary machine, I am accessible. Ladies, here's what you do when men (or women trying to make friends) try to talk to you. Wear headphones. Ignore them them the first time they say something. If they are persistant and try again, shout "WHAT? I HAVE MY HEADPHONES ON - SORRY, I CANT HEAR YOU". If they STILL don't walk away then remove your headphones from ONLY ONE EAR and say "I'm sorry... you were saying?" Just leave me alone at the gym. Seriously, some dudes just don't get that hint. I've tried it. Several times I've been on a piece of cardio equipment with my earphones in, sweating, almost grunting, "kicking my ass" as you'd say , and some dude - even a super hottie - will approach me to introduce himself. At the very least, couldn't he have waited until I was stretching? Or at the water fountain? Hint for men: Most women only think you're creepy for hitting on them IF they are not attracted to you. If they think you're attractive, they won't care when or where you're hitting them. They'll be open to it. My point is simply that you should approach a woman if you are interested in her. If she acts all creeped out, take it as a hint that she's not attracted to you and move on. It really is that easy. No, it's really not. If you approached me while I was clearly focused on my workout, I'd be irritated and turned off, no matter how attractive I would have otherwise found you outside of the gym. I say if you don't want to be hit on at the gym don't wear skanky gym attire. I wow just really hate it when women complain it's like shut up look what your wearing! Wow. So a woman who wears little clothing at the gym is "asking for it"? That's a very steep slippery slope. Perhaps you can make that into "The Accused 2"? Heck, there are some women that want men talking to them at the gym....sometimes I'd see women that would deliberately were some skimpy sports bra (with no T-shirt over it) and short short spandex shorts working out at those places. Not to me, but I'm not superficial. He's a concept for you: It's HOT at the gym, particularly when doing cardio or a hot yoga class during the summer when it's over 100 outside. The less bulky clothing, the better. I belong to a gym chain that has co-ed clubs and women's only clubs. Even within the co-ed clubs, there's a self-contained women's only area. In those women's only exercise areas, women STILL wear little clothing. And no, they're not lesbians, they just choose functional workout attire. Why do you feel the need to tell other people how to think? List of criteria: 1. Find a man who doesn't tell me how to think. How true is that?!!! bones, you strike me as someone who's resentful when you don't meet up to criteria stated. Not to pull this thread even further off track, but I totally agree. Then again, I think many people react the same way... (myself sometimes included),
forrest Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 I dont see what the problem is. The gym is a social environment. If a few women find it "creepy" to be asked out by a guy at the gym, are we now supposed to label it as a creepy place to ask out women? Perhaps we should then extend that concept? If a few waitresses find it creepy to be asked out by guys at a restaurant. Fine, lets label restaurants as a creepy place to get asked out by guys. If a few women find it creepy to be asked out by guys at a bar when they are hanging out with their friends (oh dont tell me bs that there is not 1 single woman that finds it creepy to be asked out by guys at a bar as I am sure in a world with 3 billion+ women, there is at least 1) then perhaps we should label a bar as a creepy place to be asked out? Seriously, if you are too lazy to nicely reject a guy at the gym, then you are probably too lazy to go to a gym in the first place.
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