Trialbyfire Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 Guess you don't like to make it easy for us men. Nope. I have a 400 ft scroll full of requirements which at the top of the list includes some of the most stringent moral requirements which most men aren't capable of meeting. If I die an old maid, so be it. I won't settle for less.
Author HiItsMe Posted July 12, 2008 Author Posted July 12, 2008 Nope. I have a 400 ft scroll full of requirements which at the top of the list includes some of the most stringent moral requirements which most men aren't capable of meeting. If I die an old maid, so be it. I won't settle for less. All depends on the requirements and how reasonable they are.
Trialbyfire Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 All depends on the requirements and how reasonable they are. No. These are my requirements. I don't need to amend them for anyone, unless I choose to. That I'm fully and knowingly prepared to take the consequences of not finding someone to meet them, makes it a conscious choice, which in itself, is okay. Y'know? I don't owe it to anyone to change what I want.
blondiepants Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 I have been in a relationship for 4 years. I guess that's another reason why i would like guys to leave me alone. I wear a fake engagement ring on planes. That's the MOST annoying place to get hit on. But again, the gym for me is my time... I need to be left alone. I would wear the engagement ring there, but I am afraid of what the sweat will do to the imitation silver... Wouldn't want my cover blown!
bones1 Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 As for the gym... How do you feel if your girlfriend goes to work out, and dude after dude comes to hit on her? In a way it is pathetic. However, I never understood why so many girls wear make up to the gym, if they are just going to work out. And Trial, you are not perfect, and your stuff isn't made of gold. Having lists of requirements actually seems pretty immature, especially when considering many things are subjective, and actual feelings are involved in a relationship.
Trialbyfire Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 As for the gym... How do you feel if your girlfriend goes to work out, and dude after dude comes to hit on her? In a way it is pathetic. However, I never understood why so many girls wear make up to the gym, if they are just going to work out. And Trial, you are not perfect, and your stuff isn't made of gold. Having lists of requirements actually seems pretty immature, especially when considering many things are subjective, and actual feelings are involved in a relationship. Read what I wrote and understand it bones before getting your panties in a twist!
bones1 Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 For someone who can take or leave relationships, you sure spend a lot of time analyzing them. If I have absolutely no interest in ever buying a stock,I would be strange to spend my free time analyzing them.
Trialbyfire Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 For someone who can take or leave relationships, you sure spend a lot of time analyzing them. If I have absolutely no interest in ever buying a stock,I would be strange to spend my free time analyzing them. Why? Are your interests so few and far between? I love learning, doing and observing in general. For example, I'm interested in archaeology. This doesn't mean I have to go into a dig and experience it firsthand. The human condition is endlessly fascinating!
porter218 Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 Heck, there are some women that want men talking to them at the gym....sometimes I'd see women that would deliberately were some skimpy sports bra (with no T-shirt over it) and short short spandex shorts working out at those places. . LOL..I never knew men thought we did that for them...lmao I really just get way too hot with a shirt on. I really just can't get a good workout with too much clothing on, so I wear those spandex outfits. Having been on swim-teams growing up, I am just used to being scantily clad in front of men and don't ever think twice about it. It isn't meant to be a sign to come talk to me. Majority of the time I am just not in the state of mind to be sociable at the gym.
bones1 Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 It seems some single women come off sounding soo bitter about being single. The reality is that all these "list" women, end up with someone almost the exact opposite of what they think they are seeking. I think when people ask them why they are single, they are a bit ashamed, so they counter with "Well my list is 400 pages long and I wont settle" You should be intelligent enough to realize humans are not inanimate objects that will always stay the exact same. You might not be bitter, but that is how it sounds. Are you shopping for a car? Or an actual human being? The fact that you think you can control exactly whom you are attracted to, and that person will ALWAYS embody all facets of your list without changing is silly. And it doesn't make you seem empowered to talk about how picky you are. It is transparent. You dont hear men talking about "lists", but then again they are more secure with being single.
Storyrider Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 It seems some single women come off sounding soo bitter about being single. The reality is that all these "list" women, end up with someone almost the exact opposite of what they think they are seeking. I think when people ask them why they are single, they are a bit ashamed, so they counter with "Well my list is 400 pages long and I wont settle" You should be intelligent enough to realize humans are not inanimate objects that will always stay the exact same. You might not be bitter, but that is how it sounds. Are you shopping for a car? Or an actual human being? The fact that you think you can control exactly whom you are attracted to, and that person will ALWAYS embody all facets of your list without changing is silly. And it doesn't make you seem empowered to talk about how picky you are. It is transparent. You dont hear men talking about "lists", but then again they are more secure with being single. Why do you feel the need to tell other people how to think? List of criteria: 1. Find a man who doesn't tell me how to think.
Trialbyfire Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 It seems some single women come off sounding soo bitter about being single. The reality is that all these "list" women, end up with someone almost the exact opposite of what they think they are seeking. I think when people ask them why they are single, they are a bit ashamed, so they counter with "Well my list is 400 pages long and I wont settle" You should be intelligent enough to realize humans are not inanimate objects that will always stay the exact same. You might not be bitter, but that is how it sounds. Are you shopping for a car? Or an actual human being? The fact that you think you can control exactly whom you are attracted to, and that person will ALWAYS embody all facets of your list without changing is silly. And it doesn't make you seem empowered to talk about how picky you are. It is transparent. You dont hear men talking about "lists", but then again they are more secure with being single. bones, you strike me as someone who's resentful when you don't meet up to criteria stated. This in itself is a major self-esteem problem.
Art_Critic Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 I myself have never hit on anyone at a gym ( you have to go to one first.. right ?.. Home gym..) If I did go to a gym I wouldn't hit on any girl there.. I think like others here think that women are not there to be hit on.. Same basic reason you don't hit on a waitress. But... My brother ( who is going thru a divorce after 11 years of marriage ) met his wife at a well known gym chain... They noticed each other there on the same machines day after day and struck up a conversation.. the rest is history...
Author HiItsMe Posted July 12, 2008 Author Posted July 12, 2008 My brother ( who is going thru a divorce after 11 years of marriage ) met his wife at a well known gym chain... See, any thing is possible. :-)
bones1 Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 lol Yes, NOBODY meets up to "lists".. We are humans, not cars. He must have a sense of humor...Ok, maybe his is different than yours.. He must have a good job... Ok one day he might lose it.. He must be caring and patient.. Well a lot of that depends on you. Tell us what is on your list? I think popular culture leads people to live in fantasy land. Were all of our parents and grandparents matching up to thousands of criteria on lists? Superficial. Women have these lists, unfortunately when they are most desirable, in their 20's. Then they hit 33 34 35, and become resentful as their choices are much fewer and farther in between. Then they settle for half of what they could have had in their 20's. .. Happens all the time.
Author HiItsMe Posted July 12, 2008 Author Posted July 12, 2008 lol Yes, NOBODY meets up to "lists".. We are humans, not cars. He must have a sense of humor...Ok, maybe his is different than yours.. He must have a good job... Ok one day he might lose it.. He must be caring and patient.. Well a lot of that depends on you. Tell us what is on your list? I think popular culture leads people to live in fantasy land. Were all of our parents and grandparents matching up to thousands of criteria on lists? Superficial. Women have these lists, unfortunately when they are most desirable, in their 20's. Then they hit 33 34 35, and become resentful as their choices are much fewer and farther in between. Then they settle for half of what they could have had in their 20's. .. Happens all the time. Yes, and what do YOU have to offer to a man? ;-)
Trialbyfire Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 lol Yes, NOBODY meets up to "lists".. We are humans, not cars. He must have a sense of humor...Ok, maybe his is different than yours.. He must have a good job... Ok one day he might lose it.. He must be caring and patient.. Well a lot of that depends on you. Tell us what is on your list? I think popular culture leads people to live in fantasy land. Were all of our parents and grandparents matching up to thousands of criteria on lists? Superficial. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=1730550&postcount=1 Read my top 5 criteria. As for sense of humour, why would I want to be with someone who has a different sense of humour? We couldn't laugh about the same things. The last thing I want is a guy who only laughs at clowns bopping each other on the nose. (no offense about clowns, A_C.) I think you're just intimidated with women who know what they want. That you can't hope to match any criteria is what's fueling your indignation.
Author HiItsMe Posted July 12, 2008 Author Posted July 12, 2008 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=1730550&postcount=1 Read my top 5 criteria. As for sense of humour, why would I want to be with someone who has a different sense of humour? We couldn't laugh about the same things. The last thing I want is a guy who only laughs at clowns bopping each other on the nose. (no offense about clowns, A_C.) I think you're just intimidated with women who know what they want. That you can't hope to match any criteria is what's fueling your indignation. Honour (honesty is a given within the confines of this criteria)IntegrityMoralityIntelligenceSense of Humour Honour spelled with "U" that is a turn on. I like that....I like to spell theater "theatre" sometimes. LOL Integrity..I got that Morality...definately Intelligence...I would consider myself booksmart intelligent, sometimes I lack some street smarts though. But I can carry on an intelligent conversation Sense of humor is my trade mark
bones1 Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 You cant find a man that embodies those 5 criteria? Where do you hang out? All of my single male friends embody all of those traits. # Honour (honesty is a given within the confines of this criteria) # Integrity # Morality # Intelligence # Sense of Humour To me that is a basic, normal human being.
Storyrider Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 TBF, my only thought is that the first three are almost the same, so you would get more bang out of your top five if you consolidated those into one bullet point. Then you could pick two more. I wrote the manual on love.
Trialbyfire Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 TBF, my only thought is that the first three are almost the same, so you would get more bang out of your top five if you consolidated those into one bullet point. Then you could pick two more. I wrote the manual on love. That's only my top five!
bones1 Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 Someone who doesn't lie, is intelligent and funny. Thats what you can't find? Perhaps feminism has skewed your perception of reality, or you watch too many lifetime movies. You see what you look for. If you were really seeking those positive traits, it would be easy to find. My bet it you spend your time looking for the negative ones to further convince yourself that there is something wrong with all potential suitors, and not yourself. Blaming others is far easier than introspection.
Trialbyfire Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 Someone who doesn't lie, is intelligent and funny. Thats what you can't find? Perhaps feminism has skewed your perception of reality, or you watch too many lifetime movies. You see what you look for. If you were really seeking those positive traits, it would be easy to find. My bet it you spend your time looking for the negative ones to further convince yourself that there is something wrong with all potential suitors, and not yourself. Blaming others is far easier than introspection. Not lying is only a tiny component of integrity, honour and morality. If I need to explain it to you, they're obviously criteria you'll never be able to meet.
porter218 Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 You dont hear men talking about "lists", but then again they are more secure with being single. That is soo silly. I have not seen many men secure in being single. I on the other hand LOVE it. I am actually married at the moment. But sometimes I really miss coming home to an empty house, not having to call anyone, sleeping across the whole bed, waking up by myself. I really did enjoy the times that I was single, and had nobody to worry about. This is why I really didn't like being bothered at the gym. The 2 men that I had met at a gym and dated had a different approach then the rest. They would see me coming in for many months without saying anything, then eventually started saying "have a good night" as we were both walking to our cars at the same time. Never did they bother me while i was inside the gym. Maybe a smile towards me as I came in the gym but no words. Conversation would slowly start over a long period of time, but only on the walk to the car. Until finally I was asked out then had a 1yr relationship with one and a 3yr relationship with the other. I just want someone to respect the fact that my time at the gym is a sacred time for me to relieve the stress of my crazy life, I don't want to be bothered while inside this place. It is kind of like church to me. And even when I dated these guys there was not hardly any conversation while I was working out, still only after I showered, "decompressed", and on my way out.
Author HiItsMe Posted July 12, 2008 Author Posted July 12, 2008 TrialbyFire....could you just go ahead and put the WHOLE list on here....you know...so that we may scrutinize it? (just kidding)
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