mustangsally Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 My ex and I mutually broke up about a week ago. We agreed not to speak, but still love each other quite a bit. We broke down yesterday and talked online and he sent me a message last night before he went to sleep telling me he loved me. We made plans to see each other on Tuesday. Today, I sent him a message to have a good day. And then nothing. I sent him an IM saying I hope he was having a good day, nothing. I sent him a text apologizing. Nothing. WTF? Why would be say he misses me and loves me last night and now all of the sudden ignore me cold?
Author mustangsally Posted July 12, 2008 Author Posted July 12, 2008 Nevermind. He texted me back, but didn't say he loved me, which freaks me out a little bit...
sunshinegirl Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 If you're broken up, I don't really understand why you would keep telling each other you love each other...
Author mustangsally Posted July 12, 2008 Author Posted July 12, 2008 Because we didn't break up because we stopped loving each other.
sunshinegirl Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 Of what benefit is it to constantly hear I love you from someone you can't or won't be with romantically from now on? Breaking up means separating. To separate means, among other things, to create emotional distance. You seem not to want to allow that emotional distance to occur. Perhaps your boyfriend DOES want it to occur.
Author mustangsally Posted July 12, 2008 Author Posted July 12, 2008 Well it wasn't from a now on thing. Besides, does someone who wants emotional distance IM you to tell you goodnight and that they love you and all that jazz one day and then suddenly stop the next? I don't get it. He actually invited me over on Tuesday.
carhill Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 OP, leave him be for now. Take comfort that you experienced a man who could freely say "I love you" to you. Is this the same guy from back in 2005? If so, it gives new meaning to the long, slow goodbye
Author mustangsally Posted July 12, 2008 Author Posted July 12, 2008 LOL NO!!!! Its not the same guy. That guy is such a jerk.
whichwayisup Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 Obviously he wasn't online or he wasn't infront of the computer when you IM'd him. Your situation is only going to get worse. You cannot be friends with an ex. You two broke up for a reason, so to expect the I LOVE YOU's daily is only setting yourself up for a big hurt. What is the point of seeing him on Tuesday? To talk, or just to hang out?
Author mustangsally Posted July 12, 2008 Author Posted July 12, 2008 we broke up for a reason, yes, but have been thinking of getting back together. We're both mixed up and not sure.
Emmeline Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 I'm with you on this, whichwayisup. Mustangsally, I think you need to be really careful now. Get some space and some distance from this situation for a bit. The breaking up and getting back together cycle can be really messy and emotionally damaging. Without knowing either you or the guy or the reasons why you ended it, it's impossible to say for sure why he's acting the way he is, but please proceed carefully and take care of yourself.
Author mustangsally Posted July 12, 2008 Author Posted July 12, 2008 We broke up basically because we felt like we were too wrapped up in each other and weren't focusing on other things like friends and careers. We might get back together in the future, we don't know. I'm just pissed because I'm playing by HIS rules. I said I was okay talking to him so I give him space. Then he initiates conversation twice yesterday and then ignores me all day today. I don't think that's fair.
Author mustangsally Posted July 12, 2008 Author Posted July 12, 2008 He did, but I had thought about it earlier that day. It was mutual and very sad. In fact I was in the hospital over the weekend and he asked if he could come visit and did.
Author mustangsally Posted July 12, 2008 Author Posted July 12, 2008 Also, neither side intended it to be forever necessarily.
Arise_Serpentor Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 mustangsally, you sound like a sweet girl but i have to say you both sound really young and you both need to figure things out! Did you say you loved him as well, or just wanted to hear him say it? You two really really got to work things out if you want any relationship at al in the future! are you sure he didnt meet someone else and is torn?
Author mustangsally Posted July 12, 2008 Author Posted July 12, 2008 Its extremely doubtful. I have talked to his roommates (who I became good friends with) and our mutual friend and all of them said he was pretty upset. No one mentioned anything about someone else and they're pretty honest with me and have talked to him. They are proponents of us getting back together, and I feel like at least one of them would have said something. Besides, he is extremely busy with work and I'm not sure where he would have met someone else if that was the case. The break-up was also totally mutual and there was no one else on my side...
Arise_Serpentor Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 sounds like the thought he was in love but decided he really wasn't! and maybe he's scared about the whole love thing! Was he ever in love before?! he might be the type that never wants to hurt someones feelings!
Author mustangsally Posted July 12, 2008 Author Posted July 12, 2008 I doubt very much either is the case due to his history. We've also been dating quite a while and we both made it clear we weren't breaking up because we didn't love one another.
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