Author Jilly Bean Posted July 23, 2008 Author Posted July 23, 2008 I'd like it if you got together with him and had a great time. But I think you'd just be difficult and I'm not sure he has any idea how to read you. Maybe he should log on here and see what's really going on with you. Me, difficult? Naw, its just that Ive always been crazy about him, so my defenses are up. He dumped me last year, so I am still stinging from that rejection. I honestly don't know what more is expected from me. His response today wasn't exactly warm and asking for a date now, was it? And Im still confused that you think I should do something, and all the girls think he's blowing me off.
Author Jilly Bean Posted July 23, 2008 Author Posted July 23, 2008 Because they're all women and automatically take your side and think he should be acting like a prince. And I'm a guy who has received the kind of signals you're sending out, and they're confusing, and I'd save the prince behavior for when the cost/benefit looks more favorable. Wow. I suppose you're right. I am sure if I polled my dude friends, they'd concur...
2sunny Posted July 23, 2008 Posted July 23, 2008 Because they're all women and automatically take your side and think he should be acting like a prince. And I'm a guy who has received the kind of signals you're sending out, and they're confusing, and I'd save the prince behavior for when the cost/benefit looks more favorable. well - just to clarify johan as a gal i tend to approach things and analyze them more so like a man would. if you take the emotions out of it... it's still perfectly clear that he hasn't asked specifically for her time when the opportunity was presented. the door was open and he just walked away. so to speak... if he really wants to see her - he will ask. in the meantime, blow him off blatantly. he'll probably come running by then anyway. oh brother...
Author Jilly Bean Posted July 23, 2008 Author Posted July 23, 2008 word - quandry is spelled quandary! so sorry - i hate misspellings... couldn't help myself... Not East of the Mississippi.
johan Posted July 23, 2008 Posted July 23, 2008 And Im still confused that you think I should do something, and all the girls think he's blowing me off. It's a quandry, I know. But take heart, JB, your hot. I won't advise you on this. I think you have as much as I can give on this topic. Take it, and run with it, Grasshoppa.
Author Jilly Bean Posted July 23, 2008 Author Posted July 23, 2008 if you take the emotions out of it... it's still perfectly clear that he hasn't asked specifically for her time when the opportunity was presented. the door was open and he just walked away. so to speak... if he really wants to see her - he will ask. in the meantime, blow him off blatantly. he'll probably come running by then anyway. oh brother... Exactly! I guess I feel like how many more signals can I give the guy? How many more green lights? Then Johan says I have only sent him mixed signals. Yeesh.
Author Jilly Bean Posted July 23, 2008 Author Posted July 23, 2008 It's a quandry, I know. But take heart, JB, your hot. I won't advise you on this. I think you have as much as I can give on this topic. Take it, and run with it, Grasshoppa. Well, hot isn't doing much for me these days now, is it? Thanks for always weighing in, Johan. So, what do you think the chances are that we will ever have a date? This is how I see it playing out. We have NC for another week or so. I am going out of town again, and when I get back, I will ask him out again. And then he will tell me he has met someone he's been seeing for a few weeks, and hes in a relationship.
2sunny Posted July 23, 2008 Posted July 23, 2008 not to get off topic but why did you take down the profile if you wanted him to be interested? that seems contrary to what you were trying to accomplish. he may have viewed that as your way of portraying that you met someone else. from a man's perspective that in itself is very contradictory. hmmm - the plot thickens.
Star Gazer Posted July 23, 2008 Posted July 23, 2008 I don't understand the emotions involved. I'm so confused.
Author Jilly Bean Posted July 23, 2008 Author Posted July 23, 2008 not to get off topic but why did you take down the profile if you wanted him to be interested? that seems contrary to what you were trying to accomplish. he may have viewed that as your way of portraying that you met someone else. from a man's perspective that in itself is very contradictory. hmmm - the plot thickens. I took it down because: 1) I genuinely didn't want to meet anyone from there 2) I was stalking him on the site, and it wasn't good. So, I deleted my account And yes, perhaps it let him think I met someone. That is, if he even looked at me again. He just seems so lukewarm. I still feel like you said, that I opened a lot of doors, and he has not walked through any.
Author Jilly Bean Posted July 23, 2008 Author Posted July 23, 2008 I don't understand the emotions involved. I'm so confused. LOL. Well, you know we have a lot of history...
Author Jilly Bean Posted July 24, 2008 Author Posted July 24, 2008 So, I took your advice. Despite what me, and all the chicks thought about this. I sent him a text last night. I told him that last year I threw myself at him, and it didn't work out too well for me/us, and that I was not going to do that again. I said that if he still wants to get together, then he knows how to reach me. Otherwise, I will consider it another disconnect. And his response? Yeah, that was it RIGHT there. That big, gaping, open wide NOTHINGNESS. That's right. The Bean was served a big donut. So, what did we (re)learn kids? 1 - Do not chase men. If they are interested, they will let you know and WILL pursue you. 2 - See #1
johan Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 You need to send him flowers. Remember he's sort of a chick himself.
Author Jilly Bean Posted July 24, 2008 Author Posted July 24, 2008 You need to send him flowers. Remember he's sort of a chick himself. NONE of that was funny.
johan Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 It made me laugh. I think you did the right thing. It didn't hurt anything to just be honest. If he doesn't respond, then did you really have any potential with him anyway? At least you have something definitive, instead of a lot of maybes. But be patient. Maybe his phone or whatever it is you're sending texts to is off.
Author Jilly Bean Posted July 24, 2008 Author Posted July 24, 2008 Well, I'm glad you're laughing at my expense! So cruel, my little green friend... In fairness to him, we had had some serial criminal crap going on around town, so I am sure he's been in the thick of that. STILL... I'm done giving him the benefit of the doubt. I'm heading back to Boston on FRI, and I fully plan to get laid by some anonymous stranger. Yes, some people medicate their feelings, but I fu*k them away...
johan Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 Well... enjoy that. Boston is a cool place. The best guys are west of there though.
Author Jilly Bean Posted July 24, 2008 Author Posted July 24, 2008 Well... enjoy that. Boston is a cool place. The best guys are west of there though. Pfft. Not to this Boston girl... Oh, Johan. I just need to catch a break in my love life, you know? Baller is gone (bleh), and bi-cop blew me off AGAIN. I'm quite the whiney beeyotch, no? lol. See? That's why I need to get laid. It will right me again.
Citizen Erased Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 So, what did we (re)learn kids? Don't listen to Johan. Enjoy your anonymous Boston stranger sex JB.
Author Jilly Bean Posted July 24, 2008 Author Posted July 24, 2008 Don't listen to Johan. LOL. Well, that was written BETWEEN the lines, no? Next time, I stand with my sisters. They had my back.
HeartLikeLead Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 He just seems so lukewarm. I still feel like you said, that I opened a lot of doors, and he has not walked through any. WOW I wonder why. You can't fulfill all his needs because you're not packing a johnson. Secondly he is way too uncomfortable with you knowing his secret. Nothing will change the former and the latter would take a lot on his part.
johan Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 Pfft. Not to this Boston girl... Oh, Johan. I just need to catch a break in my love life, you know? Baller is gone (bleh), and bi-cop blew me off AGAIN. I'm quite the whiney beeyotch, no? lol. See? That's why I need to get laid. It will right me again. Read the bold part. You're feeling down because things aren't going well two guys who you shouldn't be dating anyway. I mean it's supposed to be difficult to date guys who you aren't a good match with. Otherwise it wouldn't be difficult.
Author Jilly Bean Posted July 24, 2008 Author Posted July 24, 2008 Read the bold part. You're feeling down because things aren't going well two guys who you shouldn't be dating anyway. I mean it's supposed to be difficult to date guys who you aren't a good match with. Otherwise it wouldn't be difficult. Hmmm... good point! That you for that obvious (yet I missed it) message from the Universe. So, what type of guy SHOULD I be with, J?
johan Posted July 24, 2008 Posted July 24, 2008 Hmmm... good point! That you for that obvious (yet I missed it) message from the Universe. So, what type of guy SHOULD I be with, J? I'm not sure. Maybe you already know that. It seems like if you could figure that out and found a guy like that, you would have a pretty good chance with him.
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