4givrnt4gtr Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 so, say you want to get married with a man who speaks another language. You have expressed interest in learning his language and he seemed enthusiatic about it. Now...later you tell him that you would like him to speak your native language as well. He flat out says he doesnt want to, that he isnt good at it nor has the patience for it.... I personally was rather upset...I want to know that the man i want to marry wants to put the same effort as I do in all regards... Yet...it wasnt like he asked me to learn his language...I offered to and he was glad I did. I just wish he had as much interest as I do.... Am i overreacting???
Trialbyfire Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 Yes. You can't expect that someone else will reciprocate exactly what you give. He might reciprocate in another way or not at all.
jerbear Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 Not overreacting. This reminds me of a set of friends who went through a similar situation. In my opinion it means that the other person is being nice but giving up before trying. But deep down inside they are just after the girl and control. After getting the girl, controls her by making her conform to him. There is usually a superiority complex of ones own language in multilingual families. In my experiences, it was with Asian and Middle Eastern families where the guy mandates the (Americanized) woman to conform to a more patriarchal system. It starts with the language then the kids taking that language as the primary language.
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