colourithappy Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 I think I just need to be told straight really on what I think I already know. If the ex dumped you and the only reason you were in contact together was because you were inititating those contacts each and ever time. And they replied to your email and basically apologised for everything they had done to you. You shouldn't even consider this as some warped opinion as potentionally a second chance? Basically if they wanted to make amends, then they will contact you again? And that you really shouldn't give them the ammunition to just hurt you again by keep contacting them? Maybe it's the time of night, and the fact he had a very turn of heart and apologised (but didnt directly ask for another chance) thats slightly messing my head up. Until and IF he actuallys tells me he wants another chance I just need to keep the hell away?? I even know in my head it's the right thing to do, I just need to be told.
nleeh Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 I'm sure it hurts and you may feel bad and insecure since he wanated out of the relationship but.... You got it right. Stay away from him. You never know what the future will bring but don't wait around for him to ask for a second chance....just get on with your life and enjoy what comes next and you may find that what ever it is will surprise and delight you. nleeh
Hopelessly_Devoted Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 i agree nleeh, that is what i have been doing 8 days NC. It feels great, he is acting jealous about me telling my sister all this stuff, but for my own sanity and well being NC all the way.
screamingoutlove Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 I agree with nleeh 100 percent. The reason? Well I experienced first hand the hard way of finding out what happens when you wait. Not once did I ever call my ex. She always called me and we had these moments where there was slight hope of reconciling. She called me every other day. We both remained single for about 2 years continuing to keep in contact constantly and hanging out. Until one day, she got drunk and did "things" with one of her friends at a party. Ever since that happened, the calls stopped and I didn't know why until I found out last week what she did. Her and her "friend" are now "hanging out." Boy was I hurt. Hurt TWICE by the same girl. I felt used, depressed, and angry. Just a bit of background, we had a relationship that lasted for 5 years and she was the one that dumped me. Lesson...do yourself a favor, be selfish, love yourself and know you can do better. Stay away from him because what happened to me will most likely happen to you. Just being realistic, sorry if I'm being too blunt or straight forward.
Hopelessly_Devoted Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 It's only ever going to be a realistic second chance if the other person decides they want to try again and tells you straight up and you agree to trying, otherwise it is all false hope, and in time you will see.
Author colourithappy Posted July 12, 2008 Author Posted July 12, 2008 Ahhh I knew all this guys in my silly head. Stupid moment. Thank you all. Read his email. Was apologies only. I respect myself a bit more than this. NC three days and counting..
Hopelessly_Devoted Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 listen to some music like: september- cry for you evanescense- various songs maddon- the power of goodbye, sky fits heaven you can find them on youtube, you will find strength somehow, everyone is different.
Author colourithappy Posted July 12, 2008 Author Posted July 12, 2008 Thank you, i will definitely look them up. To be honest, I'm just proving to myself that I don't need to reply to his email. I can just leave it to bed now. It's been so long since. Just the reply was unexpected and no doubt made my mind twitch about a bit. I won't give him satisfaction of a reply, he expects me too. He won't know what's hit him when i've truly disappeared out of his life..
screamingoutlove Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 good for you! stay strong and surround yourself with friends and family. Its working wonders for me. Also, if you drink alcohol, try to refrain from drinking any. It only makes it worse.
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