bentnotbroken Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 Every time I ignore the red flags, I pay for it in a big way. When people spend too much time on their moral high ground, they will miss the point entirely and play victim all their lives. When I look back on it now, it is absolutely no surprise at all that something happened in my marriage to shake things loose. There's nothing like an affair to get your undivided attention. It is a total wake-up call. What's your definition of the moral high ground?
Angel1111 Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 What's your definition of the moral high ground? Moral high ground usually means you're dealing with a person who thinks everyone should be as perfect as they are. And because they're so perfect, they have the right to judge everyone else.
bentnotbroken Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 Moral high ground usually means you're dealing with a person who thinks everyone should be as perfect as they are. And because they're so perfect, they have the right to judge everyone else. Thanks for your insight.
stoopid_guy Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 How do most/many/some Xmm treat their BS once the affair is over? How long does the Xmm feel remorse? Do most/many/some men just become passive? Did the Xmm go through similar stages of loss from the affair? As Angel1111 said, it'll depend on whether or not the WS is caught. For that matter, it's going to depend on a lot of different things. My "BS" never knew about the affair. If anything, she noticed that I seemed a bit more content during the affair. I don't think I treated her any differently during or after. I was very careful, but am not sure what would have happened if we'd been caught. (The OW was also married with kids.) Remorse? There was guilt during, but it was eclipsed by the elation of the intimate contact and the thrill of a "forbidden" relationship. Why do we keep saying the problems drive people to cheat? Agreed that problems don't drive people to cheat. An individual is responsible for their own actions. No one forced me to give my OW the back-rub that started the physical side of the relationship. It was entirely my choice. IF that is true, then both spouses should cheat, since they are in the same marriage. Just because the marriage is unsatisfactory for one spouse doesn't mean it's unsatisfactory for both. My wife is content without an intimate relationship, I'm not. (Simply stating a fact here, not blaming my actions on her.)
bish Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 Surviving infidelity boards is a great resource for your question. I believe all of the posters are BS's and remorseful WS's only some of the WS's are remorseful. The rest are not.
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