spookie Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 The title says it all. TT is one of the best guys I've ever met, but this morning, after I found myself lying in a puddle of his piss after a trip to the bars last night, all my feelings have vanished (and the weekend before, I actually told him I loved him.) I don't think the fact that he peed on me was the reason. I mean, I know it was an accident - he was drunk; it could have happened to anyone. It's just, I was already annoyed with him cause of his clinginess and horniness, and before I had the chance to set some boundaries, that happened; and now I'm afraid it's too late, that he's pushed me too far away. Can someone tell me how I can get back to fantasizing about weddings and babies? Cause my instinct, right now, is to bail. His clinginess is flattering but borderline psycho. He literally begs me not to leave him. This is the first afternoon I've had to myself in two weeks. Don't get me wrong - I love doing everything with him too - but I need SOME space, sometimes, which is difficult to get when your SO climbs on top of you and says, for forty minutes staight, "Please stay; five more minutes; stay." And he always has a hard-on, which makes me feel guilty for not always wanting to have sex, which, recursively, makes me want sex even less. I don't want to do it for more than an hour each and every day, but he does. Does that mean we're sexually incompatible?
tanbark813 Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 TT sounds like Tom Hanks as an adult kid in Big. Does he have bunk beds at home?
Author spookie Posted July 11, 2008 Author Posted July 11, 2008 TT sounds like Tom Hanks as an adult kid in Big. Does he have bunk beds at home? Oh my god. That's exactly who he is. As a matter of fact, he does have bunk beds.
torranceshipman Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 Lol this post is funny! This is a Loveshack classic.... I think being peed on is a big passion killer, to be fair
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 OMG I laughed so hard when I read that title. Yeah, he does sound like that Big character. It is obvious you are his first real relationship, but he is not yours. Differrent perspectives, different expectations. You definitely need some space. Actually, a lot of space, if you are ever going to feel anything for him again. And he needs Depends.
TheSilentType Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 Nothing says I love you like a puddle of piss from a drunk He sounds a little neurotic.
tanbark813 Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 As a matter of fact, he does have bunk beds. That's awesome.
Jilly Bean Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 So, he basically wet his own bunk bed after passing out? And you happened to be in it at the time? Er, your call, Spook, but I actually find the bunk beds more disturbing that the inadvertent water sports.
Author spookie Posted July 11, 2008 Author Posted July 11, 2008 So, he basically wet his own bunk bed after passing out? And you happened to be in it at the time? Er, your call, Spook, but I actually find the bunk beds more disturbing that the inadvertent water sports. Right now we're both living in a hotel, so he actually wet a normal bed that we were both sleeping in. The bunks are back home.
Jilly Bean Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 Right now we're both living in a hotel, so he actually wet a normal bed that we were both sleeping in. The bunks are back home. OK, not sure it takes too much sting out. He still wet a bed from being passed out drunk. Do you want that kind of life, Spook?
jerbear Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 Oh my god. That's exactly who he is. As a matter of fact, he does have bunk beds. This is kinda funny, well the bright side is you can now say you've done golden showers in a bunk bed when you do your memoirs! :lmao: You can even tell your grandkids about it and piss off their mom aka your daughter. :lmao: You know... my opinion on this is that the rosy glasses came off. After having an harmonious few weeks, surviving a long car trip, meeting the TT's, you're starting to feel like it is moving to fast. I'm sure being peed on did not help. Granted you didn't wake up when he did it but after the fact. The clingy and horny behavior will subside but you have to put boundaries in place and say you're not a 24/7 ATM sex machine where he can just walk up, stick his "card" in, and have you put out. I think you've found a guy with a higher drive than you?
Author spookie Posted July 11, 2008 Author Posted July 11, 2008 This is kinda funny, well the bright side is you can now say you've done golden showers in a bunk bed when you do your memoirs! :lmao: You can even tell your grandkids about it and piss off their mom aka your daughter. :lmao: You know... my opinion on this is that the rosy glasses came off. After having an harmonious few weeks, surviving a long car trip, meeting the TT's, you're starting to feel like it is moving to fast. I'm sure being peed on did not help. Granted you didn't wake up when he did it but after the fact. The clingy and horny behavior will subside but you have to put boundaries in place and say you're not a 24/7 ATM sex machine where he can just walk up, stick his "card" in, and have you put out. I think you've found a guy with a higher drive than you? Yup, you're probably right. I think I'm kind of psyching myself out with the sex issue. Since my three-year relationship with the ex ended a year and a half ago, I haven't been able to sustain sexual interest in anyone past maybe 3 times, and I've been afraid this whole time the same thing would happen with TT, which is probably why it's happening. Sometimes I pressure MYSELF into having sex with him just to meet my own expectations of the honeymoon period, which I guess I feel should center around rabbit-like humping. How do I change my expectations to ones that are attainable?
Crestfallen_KH Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 Why do you want to talk yourself into wanting this guy more? Maybe you just don't. Seriously, being so blackout drunk that he pees the bed is scary. Is he an alcoholic?
Author spookie Posted July 11, 2008 Author Posted July 11, 2008 Why do you want to talk yourself into wanting this guy more? Maybe you just don't. Seriously, being so blackout drunk that he pees the bed is scary. Is he an alcoholic? I'm kind of afraid that I don't. The more I think about him, the less feelings I have left. Right now, I can only summon up sisterly-like affection. That's not good, is it? Ugh. I'm so sick of all these mini-relationships I've had that all start and end the same way. Is it the way I blow through them, or is it just that I haven't met another right person yet? I'd like to feel more cause he's a great guy to whom I'd feel secure entrusting my heart. I like his good qualities, I can put up with his bad ones, and he thinks I am sexy and funny. Those things are important.
Crestfallen_KH Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 It sounds like you just haven't met the right person. You meet a guy, and most of the time it doesn't work out. That's what dating is. btw, "sisterly/brotherly love" is, I think, the kiss of death for a relationship.
JP77 Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 I've wee'd the bed too, when I pissed after having an orgasm. It happens. But I'd dump him, if you are feeling like this.
Author spookie Posted July 11, 2008 Author Posted July 11, 2008 I've wee'd the bed too, when I pissed after having an orgasm. It happens. But I'd dump him, if you are feeling like this. Already? Should I do it asap, or give it more time? Do good things ever come out of giving someone more time?
JP77 Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 I'm pessimist. Oh and according some pompous swine on LS, I'm also immature, so what do I know?
johan Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 When your feelings go south like this, it's hard to recover them. He'd have to re-earn your respect, which seems improbably given that he lost it in the first place just by being himself. I don't think it's right to piss on your sweetheart until after you've gotten married. Accidental or not. If that was me, I'd be too embarrassed to face you or the hotel staff. It's fortunate that you live in the same hotel with him, and that he's above average clingy, so after you break it off he won't have to go very far to find you when he's in the mood to do some stalking/begging/crying/banging on the door. Oh, and you work together, too. YOU are in for an adventure!
jerbear Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 Sometimes I pressure MYSELF into having sex with him just to meet my own expectations of the honeymoon period, which I guess I feel should center around rabbit-like humping. How do I change my expectations to ones that are attainable? :bunny::bunny::bunny: !!!!humping!!!! :bunny::bunny::bunny: I do not think you should overtly change your expectations, I think you should have reasonable expectations. It may require some adjustments but not an adjustment to make him fit.
johan Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 If the person you're with has extra sex drive so that you feel more pressured than you should, then that can deaden your drive. If he was more relaxed and allowed you some time to let your own urges develop you'd probably be meeting your standards as far as the honeymoon goes.
jerbear Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 Oh, and you work together, too. YOU are in for an adventure! That is the truth! I've fished in the company pond and the results of a breakup were not pretty. The bad thing is, he might leave a puddle in front of her hotel door. She just met him a few weeks ago. I believe she should give him a little more time. The peeing part well it might be his way of showing love? Maybe he couldn't control himself? Maybe he had way to much and just let it go. Maybe he didn't want to wake her up so he let it go. Maybe maybe maybe... who knows what he was thinking. I would be concerned that the hotel staff notes the bed wetting incident in the hotel bill. The corporate accountant gets the bill and would be like :lmao: at the same time.
Star Gazer Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 Spookie, did he wet the bed or actually pee on you? I get the feeling it's the latter?
CaliGuy Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 The title says it all. TT is one of the best guys I've ever met, but this morning, after I found myself lying in a puddle of his piss after a trip to the bars last night, all my feelings have vanished (and the weekend before, I actually told him I loved him.) I don't think the fact that he peed on me was the reason. I mean, I know it was an accident - he was drunk; it could have happened to anyone. It's just, I was already annoyed with him cause of his clinginess and horniness, and before I had the chance to set some boundaries, that happened; and now I'm afraid it's too late, that he's pushed me too far away. Can someone tell me how I can get back to fantasizing about weddings and babies? Cause my instinct, right now, is to bail. His clinginess is flattering but borderline psycho. He literally begs me not to leave him. This is the first afternoon I've had to myself in two weeks. Don't get me wrong - I love doing everything with him too - but I need SOME space, sometimes, which is difficult to get when your SO climbs on top of you and says, for forty minutes staight, "Please stay; five more minutes; stay." And he always has a hard-on, which makes me feel guilty for not always wanting to have sex, which, recursively, makes me want sex even less. I don't want to do it for more than an hour each and every day, but he does. Does that mean we're sexually incompatible? A: If you're having doubts to this extent, I would break it off. Clingy is bad. B: Having a hard-on all the time doesn't mean he wants sex with you. Well, it doesn't with me. It means I find you attractive but doesn't mean I need to jump your bones. I have that problem too, but it shouldn't make YOU feel guilty. C: Edit: Ok, one hour every day yeah I could see how you'd want a break. I would not say that is compatible. Put some salt peter in his coffee....
Art_Critic Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 Spookie, did he wet the bed or actually pee on you? I get the feeling it's the latter? I do believe he peed the bed while passed out. after I found myself lying in a puddle of his piss after a trip to the bars last night, I don't think the fact that he peed on me was the reason. I mean, I know it was an accident - he was drunk; it could have happened to anyone. No Spookie.. it doesn't happen to anyone.. I have never pissed my bed and don't think I will be doing it for many years to come till I'm 85 and wear diapers.. Don't minimize the fact that he got so drunk he couldn't control his bodily functions and this had an impact on you... I'm sorry that you had to go thru this...
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