Walk Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 I've heard this on here a few times, where someone will make a blanket statement that "She's the cheater type". I was wondering, what is that type? Not who they are after they've cheated on someone, but the characteristics of a person before they cheat? What are the personality traits, characteristics, emotional makeup of "the cheater type"? Could you pick them out at a young age (teens), and say "That person is the cheater type" based on certain personality traits? And what would those be? Would you be in favor of testing people for traits that are prone to cheaters? What if there was a genetic test that would prove this, would you want your partner tested?
Lauriebell82 Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 Hmm, that's an interesting subject. Actually there are scales that are used to detect morals and values. There are probably a lot of articles out there reflecting the results of certain studies conducted on those individuals who have had affairs/cheat. In my own opinion, I don't know if there are people that are more "prone" to cheating then others. I'd say if they are fairly permiscuous ("sleep around") then they may be prone to cheat if becoming involved in a monogomous relationship. Also it may be a question of poor impulse control problems. You see that with a lot of the addicts that I work with, most of them have had affairs at some point. I think it may be just trouble controlling urges to have sex with someone that they are attracted to other than their partner.
bish Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 Would you be in favor of testing people for traits that are prone to cheaters? What if there was a genetic test that would prove this, would you want your partner tested? YOU BET!!!
xpaperxcutx Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 I was just thinking about infidelity. I always thought I was a moral person, but I noticed when I was with my ex, I had a tendency to flirt with other guys. I think it was because relationships get boring and we all need a challenge at times. I also remember that when we went on a week break, I went out with my gfs and give another guy a bj.
Lauriebell82 Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 I just found an interesting website on cheating. It even gives a quiz at the bottom which "tests" how likely your partner is to cheat by answering questions about you (the test is compared to others who have cheated). I'm in the middle of taking it now, its fun! http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/quizzes/public/cheating_risk_accessment_for_women.html
Art_Critic Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 Maybe the cheater gene could be isolated and we would know at birth. The convo right after birth.. I'm sorry Mr & Mrs So and So.. Your newborn baby will have to undergo therapy at the age of dating in order to learn basic relationship comprehension. His gene type matched that of a serial cheater.. Not to worry though.. according to the report he will only cheat 3 times with different women and then he will be committed to his partner I always look for people like my Dad.. or his traits.. normally those type are cheaters..
Trialbyfire Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 Here's a few characteristics for the cheaters list which requires mixing and matching per individual:Selfish.Flexible or non-existent personal boundaries.Risk-taker.Fear of aging.Requires a lot of external validation.Could I tell immediately if someone was a cheater? No. It would take getting to know the person for awhile before I could tell but even then, nothing is fool proof. YES, YES, YES!! I would so demand that anyone of interest, take the test. It's like drawing the personal boundary for STDs. You require proof of clean!
Lauriebell82 Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 Here's a few characteristics for the cheaters list which requires mixing and matching per individual:Selfish.Flexible or non-existent personal boundaries.Risk-taker.Fear of aging.Requires a lot of external validation.Could I tell immediately if someone was a cheater? No. It would take getting to know the person for awhile before I could tell but even then, nothing is fool proof. YES, YES, YES!! I would so demand that anyone of interest, take the test. It's like drawing the personal boundary for STDs. You require proof of clean! I just took the quiz that I put in my post. It says that there is a moderate risk for cheating, on the low end though. It does list the factors that are at risk for cheating. Mostly it gave the score because my boyfriend and I do spend SOME time apart and we are both attractive and have traits in demand for partners. I don't know about that, I am 100 % certain that he would never cheat on me nor would I. I'm unsure how accurate that test really is.
Author Walk Posted July 11, 2008 Author Posted July 11, 2008 YOU BET!!! Would you be in favor of tattoo'ing a cheater to warn others?
Trialbyfire Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 I just took the quiz that I put in my post. It says that there is a moderate risk for cheating, on the low end though. It does list the factors that are at risk for cheating. Mostly it gave the score because my boyfriend and I do spend SOME time apart and we are both attractive and have traits in demand for partners. I don't know about that, I am 100 % certain that he would never cheat on me nor would I. I'm unsure how accurate that test really is. I'll have to try that test. Would you be in favor of tattoo'ing a cheater to warn others? Yes, one on the genitals, the other, right between the eyes!
jerbear Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 Hmm... I took the test and got above average risk using my info.
Trialbyfire Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 I just took a look at the test and much of it is geared towards situational v. real characteristics.
Author Walk Posted July 11, 2008 Author Posted July 11, 2008 I just took the quiz that I put in my post. It says that there is a moderate risk for cheating, on the low end though. It does list the factors that are at risk for cheating. Mostly it gave the score because my boyfriend and I do spend SOME time apart and we are both attractive and have traits in demand for partners. I don't know about that, I am 100 % certain that he would never cheat on me nor would I. I'm unsure how accurate that test really is. The score it gave me was "above average". Is that for how likely my H would be to cheat, or my likelihood to cheat? Or just that we have a high chance that cheating would occur in this relationship?
Lauriebell82 Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 Yeah I read the criteria, it is mostly based on situation and physical attractiveness characteristics. I mean couples (like my boyfriend and I) who are apart from 9-5 everyday for work have a higher risk then those who work together all day. Also if you are both physically attractive you have a higher risk. Which I suppose there could be some truth in that. I think they are talking about mostly RISK factors not really whether or not you'd really cheat.
Lauriebell82 Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 The score it gave me was "above average". Is that for how likely my H would be to cheat, or my likelihood to cheat? Or just that we have a high chance that cheating would occur in this relationship? The "women" version is how likely your H would cheat. The "men" version (which is up in the right hand corner of the screen) gives the liklihood of you to cheat. Actually I took the male version and just gave my boyfriend's info for what he would put. So that means I am at a 59% risk to cheat as apposed to his 47%.
jerbear Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 Come to think of this, would prior experience count from a father figure? My dad cheated on my mom once and my mom said I exhibit those same behaviors. My own mom said I have the potential to cheat on my SO. I was like huh!? What?! You know, mom's know best but I hope she is wrong in this aspect.
Lauriebell82 Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 Come to think of this, would prior experience count from a father figure? My dad cheated on my mom once and my mom said I exhibit those same behaviors. My own mom said I have the potential to cheat on my SO. I was like huh!? What?! You know, mom's know best but I hope she is wrong in this aspect. Um, yes and no on that one. You can chose not to cheat even if you DO exihbit some of those characteristics. I mean there is always willpower that overrides that. It is kind of the same thing with inheriting alcoholism. Even if you DO have impulses or tendencies to flirt, it doesn't mean you will act on them unless you WANT to. Also: cheaters sometimes say "oh i couldn't help myself." Yeah whatever, yes you can help yourself, you jsut didn't want to! (I get that from drug addicts too)
bish Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 I was just thinking about infidelity. I always thought I was a moral person, but I noticed when I was with my ex, I had a tendency to flirt with other guys. I think it was because relationships get boring and we all need a challenge at times. I also remember that when we went on a week break, I went out with my gfs and give another guy a bj. Hence the reason I'd love a test for all potential mates.
bish Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 Would you be in favor of tattoo'ing a cheater to warn others? Sure, why not! Right across the forehead, "CHEATER" with an exalamation point!
Trialbyfire Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 Sure, why not! Right across the forehead, "CHEATER" with an exalamation point! Hey, what about the one on the genitals? It should read "I've been everywhere!"
bish Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 Hey, what about the one on the genitals? It should read "I've been everywhere!" Or it could say, "this isn't just for you"
Trialbyfire Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 Or it could say, "this isn't just for you" "Look ma, no commitments!"?
tanbark813 Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 5. Requires a lot of external validation. I would say that's one of the biggest ones. The "women" version is how likely your H would cheat. The "men" version (which is up in the right hand corner of the screen) gives the liklihood of you to cheat. No, the men version is also how likely your SO would cheat. My gf got a 48, or moderate risk when I took it just now.
bish Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 No, the men version is also how likely your SO would cheat. My gf got a 48, or moderate risk when I took it just now. So you'll be having a long talk with her tonight then right?
Star Gazer Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 That quiz is a crock of sh*t. I did it from the man's perspective, what my ex (the one that moved away that I was SO in love with) about whether I would be a potential cheater. It said a score of 54, given the following: Opportunity – does the opportunity for cheating exist? Demand – does your girlfriend or wife have characteristics that are in demand by other men? Financial Independence – is your girlfriend or wife financially independent? Puleeeze! I would have NEVER EVER cheated on him! He was ALL I wanted! Lame.
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