JustinWolf Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 I saw my ex from a year or so. I was the one who broke up with her and it went along well. It wasn't brutal lol. We kept in touch, talked from time to time and well the other day we ended up together in a private place. She has a boyfriend, though. I ended up giving her a massage and playing and fondling with her breasts and kissing them without her shirt. I tried to kiss her and she said no, and she didnt want to go further neither. So we ended it there and she knows I still like her. so what's up? She did say that if she didnt have a bf it woulda gone further and when I asked her if it woulda lead to a relationship she said "i dont know i have a bf"... What gives?
replicator Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 Not to rain on your parade, but if she has a BF - you should stay away from her. She's told you she has a BF, I would leave it at that. Don't be the bad guy who comes in and ruins a relationship.
TrustInYourself Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 Not to rain on your parade, but if she has a BF - you should stay away from her. She's told you she has a BF, I would leave it at that. Don't be the bad guy who comes in and ruins a relationship. Hahaha, no. Hell with the boyfriend. You do what you want. She will do the same. That boyfriend is not the man for her if she's letting you do what you've been doing. Run with it.
Author JustinWolf Posted July 11, 2008 Author Posted July 11, 2008 The bf don't know about this story and he probably never will. This may sound selfish but in liking someone, everything is legal. I want her to break up with him to get with me. We've had a past but we connect again sometimes and it's good. I just gotta find a way for him to break up or something. If he does, there's a chance for me and her to be together or something. If SHE breaks up then it's even better because she won't be sad about it.
Kira Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 The bf don't know about this story and he probably never will. This may sound selfish but in liking someone, everything is legal. I want her to break up with him to get with me. We've had a past but we connect again sometimes and it's good. I just gotta find a way for him to break up or something. If he does, there's a chance for me and her to be together or something. If SHE breaks up then it's even better because she won't be sad about it. Wow. Going as far as hoping they'll break up or make something happen. I don't know man. If she's currently happy with her relationship then shouldn't you let them be? Love can be selfish and i'm worried how things will turn out. I obviously hope you get to be with the girl you love. I'd rather they end their relationship without your influence before doing anything. I think you'll be more satifying that way.
kladia Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 If I were in love with my boyfriend I wouldn't be in a situation where my ex could put "boobs" and "kissing" in the same sentence when discussing our meeting. If she's cool with doing this kind of stuff while she's dating her boyfriend, it probably won't last anyway. Go for it! If she dumps him, you're doing him a favor, because he can find someone who won't cheat on him and loves him for him and not as a rebound or whatever.
orangesean Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 Haha if you and your ex are both scum enough to cheat on that guy and not really care like that then maybe you are meant for eachother. Love may be selfish, but it requires patience, and you have to have some dignity about it.
sunshinegirl Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 I'm completely with orangesean. You are behaving with no integrity - you show absolutely no remorse for the fact that you are messing around with another guy's girlfriend. Put yourself in that guy's shoes: how would you feel if your girlfriend was getting felt up by her ex? I find the double standards that occasionally pop up here very upsetting. People who have been dumped/cheated on turn around and engage in some of the very behavior that would have torn their hearts out if the roles were reversed. Yet, somehow just because it's their own ex, they think it's perfectly okay. The mentality seems to be that "anything goes" if it's an ex you're trying to win back. It galls me that some LSers encourage this kind of behavior!
Author JustinWolf Posted July 11, 2008 Author Posted July 11, 2008 Oh, if it happened to me, I'd definately feel bad about it. Now, on the spur of the moment, I did think it would be bad but I still went through it. Hey cmon, the person you wwant to be with is shirtless and is half inviting you in to have some kinda fun... you say no just because she has a bf? I went for it. I did sort of feel bad about it afterwards but I said to myself, she's doing that, might as well have them break up. The problem is, I don't know HOW really. I was thinking that I can't blurt it out. So, I think I'm just going to sit this one out and see how it goes. I think my behaviour up to this point was a bit too blunt, perhaps I oughtta just stop telling her I like her and just like wait t'ill things happen on their own? Support her yet subtly let her know that I'm still there? This was the pooint of me starting the thread in the first place, I really need to know what I should do. Not really to break them up but have her like me again. So she'd consider really thinking about being with him or me.
Trialbyfire Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 I'm completely with orangesean. You are behaving with no integrity - you show absolutely no remorse for the fact that you are messing around with another guy's girlfriend. Put yourself in that guy's shoes: how would you feel if your girlfriend was getting felt up by her ex? I find the double standards that occasionally pop up here very upsetting. People who have been dumped/cheated on turn around and engage in some of the very behavior that would have torn their hearts out if the roles were reversed. Yet, somehow just because it's their own ex, they think it's perfectly okay. The mentality seems to be that "anything goes" if it's an ex you're trying to win back. It galls me that some LSers encourage this kind of behavior! Include me in this view. Talk about selfish behaviour. Disgusting.
frd150 Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 Justin , Do you really want a girl whos capable of this behavior? It begs the question: What was she doing behind my back while we were dating?
Author JustinWolf Posted July 11, 2008 Author Posted July 11, 2008 Include me in this view. Talk about selfish behaviour. Disgusting. Hmm yes yes, I see where you are getting at. I did say I felt bad about it. You have to understand though, that there is a reason behind me feeling not too bad about it, I just won't say it openly on these forums. Plus, read what I said just before your post. I mentionned "I think my behaviour up to this point was a bit too blunt" and "Not really to break them up but have her like me again. So she'd consider really thinking about being with him or me." Also, apparently, she's not doing too good with her boyfriend. But I really need to know, imagine yourself in my situation, the woman you like is right there in front of you and trust me on this I was really hesitant and I even was about to walk away but just caressing her. Seeing that little bright light in her eyes. It was too good. So I continued and I forgot about everything else. The guy, her bf, has done a share of things too. They had a fight at one point about him liying and stuff. I'm guessing this situation brought me and her closer, perhaps. Disgusting? yea. But I can't really vouch for you. I can't say you wouldn't have done the same thing. Maybe you woulda gotten up and left. Good for you. I didn't, well too bad for me. Do I regret? Not really. Did I feel bad for her bf? Yes.
Trialbyfire Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 Hmm yes yes, I see where you are getting at. I did say I felt bad about it. You have to understand though, that there is a reason behind me feeling not too bad about it, I just won't say it openly on these forums. Plus, read what I said just before your post. I mentionned "I think my behaviour up to this point was a bit too blunt" and "Not really to break them up but have her like me again. So she'd consider really thinking about being with him or me." Also, apparently, she's not doing too good with her boyfriend. But I really need to know, imagine yourself in my situation, the woman you like is right there in front of you and trust me on this I was really hesitant and I even was about to walk away but just caressing her. Seeing that little bright light in her eyes. It was too good. So I continued and I forgot about everything else. The guy, her bf, has done a share of things too. They had a fight at one point about him liying and stuff. I'm guessing this situation brought me and her closer, perhaps. Disgusting? yea. But I can't really vouch for you. I can't say you wouldn't have done the same thing. Maybe you woulda gotten up and left. Good for you. I didn't, well too bad for me. Do I regret? Not really. Did I feel bad for her bf? Yes. I wouldn't touch a previously committed ex with a ten foot pole. If he'll cheat with someone, he would cheat on me when the relationship is rocky. Your ex has issues and so do you, if you're willing to hone in on her relationship lows.
Author JustinWolf Posted July 11, 2008 Author Posted July 11, 2008 Well then I guess I'm blind. No, seriously, you think I didn't think of her commitment issue that just occured? I thought of it and seriously, I like her. The rest we'll see in due time. Why think of the future now when you can think of the present and truly appreciate it? So what if we had a bit of fun. Look, if I went through it... I explained it why. I forgot everything meaning I didn't even know what I was doing until the end. When I was like "****." and thats it. I felt bad for her bf and I right now honnestly, there's no regrets. I don't even think of her commitment issues, okay so what if one day me and her it would be rocky? This guy's not there for her and I can see it. If me and her was rocky, I'd try to fix stuff.
serendip Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 Well then I guess I'm blind. No, seriously, you think I didn't think of her commitment issue that just occured? I thought of it and seriously, I like her. The rest we'll see in due time. Why think of the future now when you can think of the present and truly appreciate it? So what if we had a bit of fun. Look, if I went through it... I explained it why. I forgot everything meaning I didn't even know what I was doing until the end. When I was like "****." and thats it. I felt bad for her bf and I right now honnestly, there's no regrets. I don't even think of her commitment issues, okay so what if one day me and her it would be rocky? This guy's not there for her and I can see it. If me and her was rocky, I'd try to fix stuff. Will when your ex cheats on you....read this thread before you tell her that she has no morals. How would you feel if your current ex did this to you...would you still have no regrets?
Author JustinWolf Posted July 11, 2008 Author Posted July 11, 2008 I guess you made a point.. I would regret it, then. I feel like LoveShack has become my conscience haha. umm, seriously though, should I like just avoid her to not encourage this further or what? Cuz right now I feel bad about it. I shouldn't have done it and I know that if I was him I wouldn't have wanted this from her. I like her, though. Somehow I still wanna be a part of her life but... you're right cuz what we did was wrong. ****. i'm really lost now but i want to be with her...
serendip Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 I guess you made a point.. I would regret it, then. I feel like LoveShack has become my conscience haha. umm, seriously though, should I like just avoid her to not encourage this further or what? Cuz right now I feel bad about it. I shouldn't have done it and I know that if I was him I wouldn't have wanted this from her. I like her, though. Somehow I still wanna be a part of her life but... you're right cuz what we did was wrong. ****. i'm really lost now but i want to be with her... Will just leave her be...avoid all contact so you don't encourage this behaviour As much as you like the person you have to respect yourself not to hurt another person...knowingly If she comes to you after she is broken up...then do what you like...but in the back of your mind...you will always wonder...if she can cheat on her ex with you...she can cheat on you with someone else
WiseOne1 Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 I see how you feel wolf. My ex currently has a bf, but still sends me naked pictures and talks dirty with me, she says she doesnt know what she wants anymore. So one day me and her did it, and she was really quiet after. And then when did it a 2nd time and she started to cry because she says she felt disguisting and like such a bad person. She then said me and you would never do anything again, and then we did it a 3rd and 4th time. She doesnt seem to care anymore, i sometimes feel bad for the guy, because when you think about it Vica Versa it makes you feel bad, and she that time when she was crying she says its wrong because she would have never done that to me! If you love someone a person wouldnt cheat or wouldnt let anything like that happen, because i had some gfs that i would cheat on and some i wouldnt, its just how i feel about them. So i dont think you did anything wrong, she could have stopped it if she wanted to.
Author JustinWolf Posted July 12, 2008 Author Posted July 12, 2008 So what should I do? I really want to be with her and make things work :-S
carhill Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 She got her ego feed and you're left holding the boner Don't do anything. If you've got the goods, she'll be around.
WiseOne1 Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 Right dont do anything, shell come to you and if she comes on to you, you'll know thats shes intentionally cheating on her current BF. But you should push the issue more and more, i think you might just be one of the guys that comes in and ruins the relationship. 95% of the post here on LoveShack are because of the grass being greener, or someone cheating or leaving to be someone else. And the saying is that girls love bad boys and in this case your the bad guy, and they say the good guys finish last, so you might just get her back this time. Bassically you should just play the cards the way they are dealt.
Trialbyfire Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 Both the person cheating in a relationship and the third party, have equal responsibility in how they choose to conduct themselves. For anyone who enables someone else to cheat, look to your own self-respect and ask yourself why you're willing to accept crumbs off someone else's table.
WiseOne1 Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 Both the person cheating in a relationship and the third party, have equal responsibility in how they choose to conduct themselves. For anyone who enables someone else to cheat, look to your own self-respect and ask yourself why you're willing to accept crumbs off someone else's table. Thats very true Trial. If the person only sees you as being good for sex but not a relationship, then forget the person. Thats just called the person not thinking your worth anything else, but if the person doesnt leave the person there with after awhile, then run for the hills, it only means your a cut buddy.
Trialbyfire Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 Thats very true Trial. If the person only sees you as being good for sex but not a relationship, then forget the person. Thats just called the person not thinking your worth anything else, but if the person doesnt leave the person there with after awhile, then run for the hills, it only means your a cut buddy. If someone really loves you and is willing to put you above all else, don't you think they would leave who they're with, to be with you? If they keep you as side-booty, you get what you pay for.
WiseOne1 Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 If someone really loves you and is willing to put you above all else, don't you think they would leave who they're with, to be with you? If they keep you as side-booty, you get what you pay for. Yea, thats true in away.
Recommended Posts