renaissancewoman101 Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 Yes, I do miss him. I wonder how he's doing and what he's up to. Even though our conversations of late have been very superficial and shallow up until him sending the email to me telling me he couldn't handle me calling him on the phone, venting to him, etc. Although it was not always like that. There were times we had fun chatting and laughed about stuff. I have reread his email. I don't think he completly NEVER wants to talk to me again, otherwise he would have told me never to contact him again. Instead, he says he can't handle it, that I drain him, etc. I feel bad. I want to talk to him and see how he's doing. No, I haven't done anything to contact him. Truthfully, I'm afraid to, afraid he really means to be done with our friendship. This time I haven't cried about it, except once. I've been sad, but been busy, and stuff. How much time should pass before I send a "reconcilation" probe. This time of not talking to him, is A LOT harder than the four months friendship "break" we took last year. That time I was able to know what he was doing/up to through his Facebook. And if I want to seek reconciliation, how do I approach this? It is a delicate situation.
rawkwell Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 I'm afraid that men have a much easier time turning off their feelings than we women do. I too miss him, I miss what we had, but as time goes on, I see that what we had isn't what I need. He seemed so perfect, but he didn't feel the same way about me that I felt for him. It is toxic to keep up communication. Yes, you miss him, but if you do not contact him, the missing him will dissipate. I'm having a hard time realizing this, because I can't stop crying about him, but you need to know that your heart will heal if you stop talking to him.
roghornio Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 I'm afraid that men have a much easier time turning off their feelings than we women do. Not true. In fact i might hazard a guess that it's harder. Men bottle it up. It's never really discussed with friends, it's not the "manly thing to do" ... it usually manifests itself in drunken and/or aggressive behaviour. Men just bottle it up and it goes round, and round and round their heads until at some point out it pops in usually not very pleasent behaviour. You ladies can talk to your friends about it, in fact its expected of you. All your firends will tell you what a jerk the guy was and youll believ it. All guys get is oh well theres plenty more fish in the sea comment and well thats about it - your expected to just turn of and move on. you'd be very suprised at how emotioanl men are but i can guarantee you will NEVER see it.
justine4 Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 Not true. In fact i might hazard a guess that it's harder. Men bottle it up. It's never really discussed with friends, it's not the "manly thing to do" ... it usually manifests itself in drunken and/or aggressive behaviour. Men just bottle it up and it goes round, and round and round their heads until at some point out it pops in usually not very pleasent behaviour. You ladies can talk to your friends about it, in fact its expected of you. All your firends will tell you what a jerk the guy was and youll believ it. All guys get is oh well theres plenty more fish in the sea comment and well thats about it - your expected to just turn of and move on. you'd be very suprised at how emotioanl men are but i can guarantee you will NEVER see it. I picked up on that statement on too. I've just finished making a new thread to see people thoughts on it.
Author renaissancewoman101 Posted July 12, 2008 Author Posted July 12, 2008 Rawkwell, are you sure that not contacting him will make the feelings dissipate. The last time we went through a period of not talking to each other, was about four months. During those four months, I did everything to try to take myself away from that pain. I got involved in group activities, did online dating, went out and did other things, kept busy, and yet I still thought about things a lot, cried a lot, and missed my buddy terribly. At least that time, he gave me the caveat of "give him a few months space and then we could work on the friendship". I did keep tabs on him a bit by reading his Facebook page, stuff like that, but for four months I pretty much didn't talk to him. Keeping busy did NOT stop me from missing him nor thinking about him. During that time, I truly tried to find guys to meet and date, hoping that would help me get over him. Unfortuanetly that didn't pan out for me. Now, I am not sure how to go out and date. I do take art classes and get involved in other social things. Maybe, if I meet a guy, it'll help me let go of this situation. I don't know.
Arise_Serpentor Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 I don't think you want reconciliation! I think you want him back and you hope he falls for you again! You need to move on and get over him! yeah its hard, but you are wasting his time and yours!
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