Author DunnoWhat Posted July 13, 2008 Author Posted July 13, 2008 So we went out tonight again.. plenty of touching, eye contact and I asked her did she want to meet up again in 2 weeks (shes going home next week) and she said yes and we just hugged for about 1 minute and said goodbye... no kiss. Why are you being so passive? As carhill mentioned, pick up the phone and call her. Dating by text message is so not alpha! I'm being passive to let her know I'm not desperate! When I'm with her I'm not so passive.
Author DunnoWhat Posted July 13, 2008 Author Posted July 13, 2008 Correct. It means you can be depended on to not call. Consistently frustrating behavior can be a positive, see? yeah, I have to admire you carhill because you seem like a very positive person!
JP77 Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 If you're interested in a girl, don't hem and haw about it. Make plans with no hesitation. As Nike says "just do it"! What happens if you aren't worthy of them?
Dark-N-Romantic Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 I want to deal with the context of the headline of the thread... I personally believe that a person who plays hard to get is not ready to be gotten. I am not a chaser. Never have been, never will be. So that usually limits a lot of women I talk to. I lay my cards on the table and if a woman is willing to put in, fine, if not, she can fold and go to another poker table. A lot of people might inform you that women want to be chased and men want to be able to chase. I can tell you with 100% certainty that is not the case. There are a lot of women who are just wants a person to be honest with their feelings and you can have them off the back just like there are a lot of guys who just want to able to pick up a woman without a whole lot of game play. There are some women you should call immediately after a date and then there are those who don't mind if you miss a couple of days. DNR The best games are played once the initial stage of the relationship has passed.
Blue Eyed Brain Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 DunnoWhat - I think you are playing games. If you like her, initiate contact and ask her out. If she says yes, great. If she says no, move on.
couchmonkey Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 A lot of people might inform you that women want to be chased and men want to be able to chase. I can tell you with 100% certainty that is not the case. There are a lot of women who are just wants a person to be honest with their feelings and you can have them off the back just like there are a lot of guys who just want to able to pick up a woman without a whole lot of game play. There are some women you should call immediately after a date and then there are those who don't mind if you miss a couple of days. Everyone should get a tattoo that reveals their preference. Somewhere easily seen like a forehead.
CarDude2015 Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 Dude- do NOT use any online method (and that includes texting over the phone and any variation of texting) as a means of asking her out. CALL her and ask her out. Get rid of the online crap for a minute and just act as if it didn't exist when it comes to dating. Just call her.
Angel1111 Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 ^ True bish! On every thread there has been some who say I should call the women otherwise it shows lack of interest and if a man did that to them they'd find somebody else... and some who say leave it don't contact the girl for a few day because if a man rang them after a day or 2 then that would be desperate and a turn off. Good Lord! The games! Hey, act like a guy with manners and pick up the stinking phone and call her to finalize your plans. Say something along the lines of, "I know we agreed to talk online but I thought I'd just give you a ring." It really isn't complicated, guys. I LOVE it when a guy calls me right after a date. What I DON'T love is when he becomes needy, controlling and obsessive after that. There IS a difference....and it ain't all that subtle.
Dark-N-Romantic Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 My second ex preferred getting messages vice talking and making arrangements on the phone. The fact is there IS NO right or wrong way for him to approach. He just need to be bold and make the plans. That's what I have learned. And then, what he needs to do is discuss with her how would she like to handle the dating arrangements. Does she like messages or does she prefer the phone. This is the little thing called COM-MUN-I-CA-TION. The need to feel free to ask questions and be willing to receive answers. DNR
Trialbyfire Posted July 13, 2008 Posted July 13, 2008 I'm being passive to let her know I'm not desperate! When I'm with her I'm not so passive. Don't be passive...period. This doesn't mean chasing her around the world or being in contact 24/7. If you don't let a girl know you're interested, her interest could easily wander off. What happens if you aren't worthy of them? Why can't I take your question seriously JP? You're so silly!
Author DunnoWhat Posted July 13, 2008 Author Posted July 13, 2008 So we went out tonight again.. plenty of touching, eye contact and I asked her did she want to meet up again in 2 weeks (shes going home next week) and she said yes and we just hugged for about 1 minute and said goodbye... no kiss. I already asked her face to face to meet up again in 2 weeks and she said yes. I've learned my lesson of just asking her straight out instead or wondering all week. It's fairly handy timing for me because i've another date for next week but I don't think i'll like the next date, it remains to be seen. But thats another story!
bish Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 It really isn't complicated, guys. I LOVE it when a guy calls me right after a date. But the question is, do you play hard to get?
D-Lish Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 I don't play hard to get with people- but I do take my time getting to know someone... and sometimes that means being somewhat passive initially. I just like taking things slow. If someone is a little over eager, I get turned off.
bish Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 I don't play hard to get with people- but I do take my time getting to know someone. There is nothing wrong with taking it slow. Its the "i'm going to make him chase me" game that I won't play. People that play games get the person they deserve...the person that only wants one thing and will chase it til they get it. Then dump them when its over.
Trialbyfire Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 There is nothing wrong with taking it slow. Its the "i'm going to make him chase me" game that I won't play. People that play games get the person they deserve...the person that only wants one thing and will chase it til they get it. Then dump them when its over. This is part of the confusion. Women are many times construed to be playing a game when in reality, they're ensuring that they get to know the guy first. Some women like myself need to get to know the guy for a very long time.
bish Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 This is part of the confusion. Women are many times construed to be playing a game when in reality, they're ensuring that they get to know the guy first. Some women like myself need to get to know the guy for a very long time. But that isn't the "make him chase me" mentality. You can get to know the guy without having to resort to narcississtic tactics like that.
Author DunnoWhat Posted July 14, 2008 Author Posted July 14, 2008 But that isn't the "make him chase me" mentality. You can get to know the guy without having to resort to narcississtic tactics like that. Yes it is. They want to be the prize and therefore in control of the situation. Everybody does in some way but I do think women are more compicated then men.
bish Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 Yes it is. They want to be the prize and therefore in control of the situation. Everybody does in some way but I do think women are more compicated then men. No, its not. There is a difference between a man and woman mutually respecting each other and carrying on like 2 adults, yet taking things slow to make sure each other is who you want to be with...as opposed to one party thinking, "I'm going to make him/her do all the calling and I'll never put forth the effort and let them chase me because I am worth it" Big difference
JP77 Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 Why can't I take your question seriously JP? You're so silly! Thanks.
D-Lish Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 No, its not. There is a difference between a man and woman mutually respecting each other and carrying on like 2 adults, yet taking things slow to make sure each other is who you want to be with...as opposed to one party thinking, "I'm going to make him/her do all the calling and I'll never put forth the effort and let them chase me because I am worth it" Big difference Yeah, there is a big difference in taking things slow with someone and making them chase you. And I agree that when you play games and make someone chase you that they will most likely resent you for it after a while.
Author DunnoWhat Posted July 14, 2008 Author Posted July 14, 2008 No, its not. There is a difference between a man and woman mutually respecting each other and carrying on like 2 adults, yet taking things slow to make sure each other is who you want to be with...as opposed to one party thinking, "I'm going to make him/her do all the calling and I'll never put forth the effort and let them chase me because I am worth it" Big difference I was agreeing with you bish! lol
Brady_to_Moss Posted July 14, 2008 Posted July 14, 2008 if a girl plays hard to get with me.....then i say NEXT....i dont play stupid games like that
Recommended Posts