soyou Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 Me and my BF have been in a relationship for almost a year. Many ups and downs, ups and bads, till now, I still dont understand or know him fully.Honesly, I always feel that he loves me really a lot. He cares so much abt me from small things to big things. However, there are two things that makes me suspect the whole time. 1. Invited me to come over to his place only twice. After that he told me that his cousins and then ant came over from another country. First they wanted to stay for a short time to visit this country. Then, his cousins decided to study here. They live with him. He said he did not want other people involve in our relationship. It's the reason why he does not want me to meet them. Does not meet them means do not come to his house.He comes to me most of the time. I really dont know how to open my mouth to talk abt this. I just asked him when your cousins would be leaving and living on their own. He said very sooon when their school started. I told him that I found this situation so weird because I never came to his house since the two very first time for only one or two hours per each. ALso told him that if his cousin did not leave in this September when the school started, the our relationship would stop. Either he chose his cousins or me. DID I do the right thing or not?What shall I do to find out if he is really having cousins there or its his beloved wife or financee. I dont remember where his house is anymore. I've been there only twice, a year ago, and both in the evening with car (he drove). So I cant come over and spy. If I ask his address suddenly, he will suspect and may hide all the evidences. 2. He never mentions abt living together. Even if he asked me to do so, I would refuse because I still love my freedom and independent life. But I am so curious why. Besides these two negative things, the rest is really ok. Who was, is, or has been in the similar situation, PLEASE give me advices of what i have to go. Or if you have any ideas, suggestions, please post here. I APPRECIATE all the support.
Shygirl15 Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 How often do you spend time together, do you talk often on the phone? Do you feel that he could be seeing other women? Can you freely call him at anytime of the day and be able to reach him? Does he talk of his cousin sometimes during your conversations, you know like if s/he did something or got into an argument like most people who stay in the same house do? My situation was somewhat similar, he was upfront about it though, that he was still living with his ex-wife, helping her out because she got into some financial troubles. So of course I was not able to go at his house, however he was available to me by phone or in person 24hrs a day. And sometimes I would call his home phone, the ex would answer and she would put him on the phone to talk to me. So there was no worries there. However, I just felt uncomfortable with him coming to my house all the time and didn't feel this situation with the ex was going to end soon, so I dropped him. I wonder why you want him to mention abt living together if you don't want to. You should be glad he hasn't. If you really want his address, I believe you can look it up on the internet, there're some sites that sells such information I guess.
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