lexi29 Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 I'm not sure where to post this. My fiance and I had a great 4th of July weekend. We had a cook out at his place- his parents and his sister and her boyfriend came as well and my fiance's upstairs neighbor and her parents. We went to a rodeo with his son later that night. It was a great day. One weird thing that happened is my fiance's dad came over after work to eat. We were just getting everything ready and he is always teasing me about my cooking (I"m a BAD cook) and he is a great one. I walked over to him and said "don't worry it's safe to eat, I didn't make anything" and laughed and he laughed and put his arms around me and gave me a big hug! Now that would be normal if he's ever hugged me before but he hasn't. I don't think we've ever touched eachother, not even shaking hands or anything. Also my fiance's mom was there and she was rather cold to me after her husband hugged me. I've never seen him even hug his grandkids. His daughter is a few years older than me and lives with him and I've never seen him ever be affectionate with her. He doesn't even sit next to his wife. Maybe I think its weird because in the last ten years I can only remember hugging my own dad maybe a total of 4 times. Also we were sitting on the porch with everyone and someone made a comment about my fiance and me getting married and my fiance's dad (who was sitting next to me) patted me on the leg and kinda squeezed my leg in an affectionate way and laughed and said "oh she's not part of the family yet, but soon VERY soon she will be and I treat em' all the same" At the time I felt really good that he hugged me and was joking around with me. I'm not close to my own dad so it was nice that my fiance's dad has accepted me. But afterward I asked my fiance if he thought it was weird and he said yeah that his dad doesn't hug his mom or his sister or even his grandson. And another weird thing was the next morning when my fiance's dad called him he called him by his childhood nickname and he hasnt' done that in years. Said his dad has just seemed really light hearted and happy lately (he's retiring in a few months so maybe thats why.)even though my fiance and I have dated on and off for the last 4 yrs I've never been close to his family till recently. Is it odd that he hugged me and was affectionate even though he's not that way with his own family?
quankanne Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 And another weird thing was the next morning when my fiance's dad called him he called him by his childhood nickname and he hasnt' done that in years. sounds like psychologically, something has occurred in Pop-in-law's life that's made him realize that it's okay to be affectionate or giving. Maybe because you're the kind of easy-going personality that encourages it in people, and he's responding? I remember one time teasing my husband about being kissy in his previous relationships, and he was offended by it. My point was that I thought it was cool that he wasn't uptight about being affectionate, but he thought I was making fun of him because he'd never been that way before in his relationships. So there's something about our relationship that helped him to relax enough to do the hand-holding in public, blowing kisses into the phone kinds of things. And I'm wondering if you don't inspire a similar (eww, but not in a romantic kind of way) feeling with your PiL?
zicke Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 Lexi, you have too much time on your hands. You are looking for a reason to not marry the guy, just end it already. Seriously, you look for drama.
aubree1982 Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 I don't think she's looking for things to end her relationship, she's just uncomfortable with the situation. I'm not a overly affectionate with my family either nor have I ever been with my with the people I dates family, but I have hugged my ex's parents on several occasions. I wouldn't read into it too much..maybe he likes you and if trying to make you feel welcome. Perhaps his mom was acting a little weird about it because she could sense you were uncomfortable with the hug. Wait and see how he acts around you the next time your around him and if he continues to make you feel uncomfortable try to avoid being so close to him...like sitting next to him. And if that doesn't work then ask your bf to say something to him (in private of course). I wouldn't make to big of a deal about it.
Recommended Posts