HiItsMe Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 I was talking to a single lady one day, she was talking about her last break up, and how some memory or location kept reminding her of him....and I said, "Was it a good or bad break up?" And she said, there are NO "Good" break ups.....that's why they call them "Break ups" Any truth to this?
sid3 Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 Sure there's good breakups. Abusive R's, guys that realize they're gay etc. Plus, once you've met the new love of your life you will realise that it was a great breakup. I've also seen couples seperate that once they broke up, they got along great where when they were a 'couple' they were miserable.
serial muse Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 Sure there's good breakups. Abusive R's, guys that realize they're gay etc. Plus, once you've met the new love of your life you will realise that it was a great breakup. I've also seen couples seperate that once they broke up, they got along great where when they were a 'couple' they were miserable. This is true...but I think it's possible to realize a breakup was good after the fact. While it's happening, I don't think any breakup would feel good; there's always a sense of loss. Or, maybe not. For some people it may be relief. But even when I was the one doing the breaking up, it was painful and awkward and I hated every minute of it, while it was happening.
Luz Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 Break ups are ultimately sad and having gone through several , I can honestly say that the impacts are fundamentally based on how it's done and handled . The worst kind is when the other person just simply distant and eventually just disappear ! The best or better one in my experiences is having many heart to heart conversations about our unresolvable issues over the months leading to the final conversation . My Ex called to ask me if we could meet at my place , we both knew exactly what was about to happen but agreed to have our closure conversations. He held my hand telling me how greatful he was for all the years and the wonderful memories we had shared , the impacts I had made on his life and that I will always occupy a special place in his heart . However , we had struggled so hard to make it and it's wearing us out . We shared our appreciations and deep regrets that things are not working out for us . We hugged and cried for a long time before kissing each other good bye . This happened a year ago and now we are totally at peace with our decision. We still talk occasionally and we both know that as long as we are not involved seriously with anyone , we would be there for each other . Yes , with maturity , 2 people can achieve break up process kindly and lovingly .
Trialbyfire Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 The actual breakup is never good. There's always at the very minimum, separation anxiety. The long-term consequences are more often than not, beneficial to both parties, since bad dynamics that caused the breakup would have happened eventually. Also, each party has the freedom to improve on the last model!
xpaperxcutx Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 Everyone has different experiences. For the dumper, it might be a very good breakup because he/she is ending something which wasn't satisfying to them. For the dumpee, they are the ones not wanting the breakup, so of course, the breakup isn't a good experience. However later down the line, they might realize it was for the best because they realize that the last person wasn't really a good fit for them after all. Usually this is after they have started seeing someone else who is more compatible with them. One of my close friends broke up with her first boyfriend years ago, and had been harboring alot of resentment towards him. Only a few months ago when she started seeing someone else, she learned to move on. . Yes , with maturity , 2 people can achieve break up process kindly and lovingly . Yes, I think if maturity came into play, a break up could run much more smoothly. The actual breakup is never good. There's always at the very minimum, separation anxiety. The long-term consequences are more often than not, beneficial to both parties, since bad dynamics that caused the breakup would have happened eventually. Also, each party has the freedom to improve on the last model! Omg, when I decided to break up with my ex, it took alot of courage to actually tell him face to face. I had to replay certain sentences in my head before I came up with a good reason to end in good terms. But when it came time to do it, my mind just froze.
Jilly Bean Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 No. A break-up can be bitter and acrimonious (those are usual how mine roll - lol), OR, they can be healthy and mutual in which the couple remains friends. Personally, I think if there is any real passion in the relationship, it will always go down ugly. BUT, certainly a break-up doesn't have to be marred with attacks and mean games.
kizik Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 A break-up can be bitter and acrimonious (those are usual how mine roll - lol), OR, they can be healthy and mutual in which the couple remains friends. I don't think it's either/or. My breakup was peaceful enough, but it was not mutual (though we "said" it was - it was she who wanted out) and we are not going to remain friends. It's only been two months, and I've had little to no "closure" - but I can already see it's for the best. I'm much happier and myself again, so in that sense it is "good."
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