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When people show up to gatherings, but don't mingle


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Posted

As I said, I'm part of a social group for Meetup. And sometimes we get some "new faces" here and there that show up....say if they are single ladies.

 

I have noticed, on occasion....they aren't too chatty and short, and prefer to sit off in a corner to chat with the friend they came with, and then leave very early.

 

Is this due to the fact they didn't see any men/hunks that they liked and bolted...not even really being open to at LEAST making new friends or some networking?

 

My friend has a name for this, he calls them being "Darwined" out of the group. lol

 

They show up....get a lay of the land...are short, and barely polite to any man that tries to make small talk with them...put on their fake smiles...then say to each other "Ew....no rich guys here....let's head to <Name of place where Doctors and Lawyers hang out>

 

So they bolt early.

Then they complain they can't meet any decent guys.

 

It's as if they are on a mission and not open to serendipity.

Posted

it could be any number of reasons.

 

at least they are trying to participate.

 

some folks like to test the water temperature gradually...

 

for me - i am very guarded about giving out personal info unless i have a good reason to trust the person that info is shared with.

 

it doesn't mean i don't want to try - it just means that i need to do it on my own terms.

 

from a woman's perspective - safety always comes to mind...

Posted

Level of socializing can vary day-to-day. Everyone has different moods. Also, these women might be shy and uncertain, waiting for the men to approach them.

Posted

Maybe they came there for the group activity, and got turned off when they realized the other members were really there to hook up.

Posted
Maybe they came there for the group activity, and got turned off when they realized the other members were really there to hook up.

 

I've had this exact experience with meetup! It's a tossup; sometimes it's hard to tell from the online description what the group is really like. When I first arrived at my current city, I joined groups because I wanted to make platonic fun friends, not get hit on. Some were cool, but with some I felt like a fish out of water. There was clearly another agenda that I wasn't into.

 

That said, who knows whether these people the OP is talking about are snobs or just shy. What they are, though, is short! (By short, ItsMe, did you mean in address, or in appearance?? :laugh: Because if it's in appearance, I'm wondering what that has to do with the price of tea...)

Posted
I've had this exact experience with meetup! It's a tossup; sometimes it's hard to tell from the online description what the group is really like. When I first arrived at my current city, I joined groups because I wanted to make platonic fun friends, not get hit on. Some were cool, but with some I felt like a fish out of water. There was clearly another agenda that I wasn't into.

 

That said, who knows whether these people the OP is talking about are snobs or just shy. What they are, though, is short! (By short, ItsMe, did you mean in address, or in appearance?? :laugh: Because if it's in appearance, I'm wondering what that has to do with the price of tea...)

 

The OP has tried to sell LS on using MeetUp.com as a free dating service. I have the feeling that he's referring to women he approached in a flirtatious manner and rebuffed him.

Posted
The OP has tried to sell LS on using MeetUp.com as a free dating service. I have the feeling that he's referring to women he approached in a flirtatious manner and rebuffed him.

 

Ooooh, I just went back and read that thread. I see what you mean. Well then, I'm apparently one of those women who irritate him! :laugh:

 

The feeling, of course, would be mutual. :p

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