Habibti Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 It's been just a little over a month now since the fairytale went awry. In the end, I had been insecure about something to do with my looks so I was deceptive about it.I finally came clean and he decided after a year together and telling me I have no idea how much he loved me (that was AFTER the breakup) that due to trust and insecurity issues he has decided to move on. I typically never go for second chances but I believed we were deeply in love so like a sucker I made him a ten minute video pouring my heart out to him, he watched that video about 30 times and in the end as I said...told me he decided due to trust and insecurity we couldn't work things out but the door to friendship was open and he would like that if I chose it. UH-HUH.For a long time I blamed myself for our relationship demise, then I realise it takes two. Yes, I did something wrong but I also came clean about it and if it had been him who did the exact same thing, I would of forgiven him.Not more than once no, but I would of given us a second chance regardless.It isn't like he was exactly Mr.Perfect himself and I can think of times when he was embarassed and lied or made an omission in the relationship. But looking back, that's just the theme of the relationship- me giving and giving and giving and him, recieving. I cried this morning because I felt very sad. I noticed that's how it goes. There will be days I feel fine, and then days I feel sad. It gets better to get worse and vice versa.I think what I mourn the loss of most more than anything- is that I really believed he loved me, but had to face otherwise. That's what hurts the most. Realising I loved someone so deeply who never loved me back. Well, just venting I guess. Don't mind me...
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